Good god. Seriously bored. I can't think of anything I want to do, besides hop on the next plane home. I feel like the seventh grader two weeks from the summer holiday. It just never seems to end.
Ever since I got back on Wednesday I have realized more and more that there is nothing here that I will really miss. There are people here that I like, sure - but none that I can't imagine a life without. On the contrary, life in Lund last week seemed frighteningly real and consistent. Even after almost a month of travelling back and forth over the country did I for a second long for my room in Cork.
Some things I wish I could bring. The Berries for example, the smoothies bar down on McCurtain Street. In a city fed by batter, fries and ketchup that little store stands out by serving freshly squeezed juices of all kinds imaginable. You get about half a liter of heaven in a cup for 4,50 and it is not even the only place in town - just the best. I will also miss the dressing rooms from the gym, that looked like something out of a fancy pants hotel with dark wooden lockers, sauna, steam sauna and even a tanning room (although I never used that).
But other than that...? I can't think of a single thing. And when I dig even deeper I realize that this is exactly the way my life has been for the last three months. Sitting at home in front of my computer on a Friday night, with nothing else to do but whine but with no-one to whine with. Thus it ends the same way every time, and my journal is slowly filling up to the brim with crap about Handsome Captain, what new or old aspect of Cork that is giving me the nippers for the moment, or just how utterly bored I happen to be.
My plane leaves on the 22 Jan. Today is 9 Jan. That means eleven days. E-L-E-V-E-N days. When you are on vacation that time passes by like a whirlwind. Blink, and it's gone. What a mockery.
I was quite happy when I got back to Cork. I walked through the city with my little bag in the night, listening to I Am Kloot and, once again, seeing the city for the first time. "That must be a new restaurant. How long has that store been there? I really should walk down that road over there some day." When I got back to work on Wednesday I was feeling rather cheerful, filled with the optimism that only comes with a two weeks complete neglect of reality. Not more than three hours into my first shift I was already back being bored with work.
K and I aren't talking much nowadays either. It was painfully obvious when I came back from my holiday and we met eachother in the hall.
"Oh, helloo.. How have you been?"
"I've been great, just great. It's been so.. Yeah, it's just been great. How was your Christmas?"
"It was good. A bit stressful, you know, but good. Yeah.. Yeah, it was good."
"Well, I'm glad to hear."
"Yeah, you too."
Silence.
"Well, I think my break is over, I guess I'd better go back to work now."
"Yeah, me too... I'll see you later."
"Yeah, you too."
We have nothing more to talk about. Not even a reason to pretend anymore. I don't know what happened. We never had a fall-out or anything. We just... stopped hanging out. Maybe it was my fault. Perhaps I should have told her how I felt about her and A, but I am really bad at confrontations. Either way, I guess that gives us something in common.
We will both be just as relieved when I go.
Ever since I got back on Wednesday I have realized more and more that there is nothing here that I will really miss. There are people here that I like, sure - but none that I can't imagine a life without. On the contrary, life in Lund last week seemed frighteningly real and consistent. Even after almost a month of travelling back and forth over the country did I for a second long for my room in Cork.
Some things I wish I could bring. The Berries for example, the smoothies bar down on McCurtain Street. In a city fed by batter, fries and ketchup that little store stands out by serving freshly squeezed juices of all kinds imaginable. You get about half a liter of heaven in a cup for 4,50 and it is not even the only place in town - just the best. I will also miss the dressing rooms from the gym, that looked like something out of a fancy pants hotel with dark wooden lockers, sauna, steam sauna and even a tanning room (although I never used that).
But other than that...? I can't think of a single thing. And when I dig even deeper I realize that this is exactly the way my life has been for the last three months. Sitting at home in front of my computer on a Friday night, with nothing else to do but whine but with no-one to whine with. Thus it ends the same way every time, and my journal is slowly filling up to the brim with crap about Handsome Captain, what new or old aspect of Cork that is giving me the nippers for the moment, or just how utterly bored I happen to be.
My plane leaves on the 22 Jan. Today is 9 Jan. That means eleven days. E-L-E-V-E-N days. When you are on vacation that time passes by like a whirlwind. Blink, and it's gone. What a mockery.
I was quite happy when I got back to Cork. I walked through the city with my little bag in the night, listening to I Am Kloot and, once again, seeing the city for the first time. "That must be a new restaurant. How long has that store been there? I really should walk down that road over there some day." When I got back to work on Wednesday I was feeling rather cheerful, filled with the optimism that only comes with a two weeks complete neglect of reality. Not more than three hours into my first shift I was already back being bored with work.
K and I aren't talking much nowadays either. It was painfully obvious when I came back from my holiday and we met eachother in the hall.
"Oh, helloo.. How have you been?"
"I've been great, just great. It's been so.. Yeah, it's just been great. How was your Christmas?"
"It was good. A bit stressful, you know, but good. Yeah.. Yeah, it was good."
"Well, I'm glad to hear."
"Yeah, you too."
Silence.
"Well, I think my break is over, I guess I'd better go back to work now."
"Yeah, me too... I'll see you later."
"Yeah, you too."
We have nothing more to talk about. Not even a reason to pretend anymore. I don't know what happened. We never had a fall-out or anything. We just... stopped hanging out. Maybe it was my fault. Perhaps I should have told her how I felt about her and A, but I am really bad at confrontations. Either way, I guess that gives us something in common.
We will both be just as relieved when I go.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Just teasing! You seem to travel a lot, but I'm unsure why. I feel like I've picked up a novel and started on chapter 7. Is it because of your job? Are you just struck with the urge to move?