trista

I hate the way things are going... this week has just been turning out to be shit. I want to blame the weather. But I know that isn't really why. Truth of the matter is, I'm not happy. I haven't really been happy with my relationship for a long time, but I keep convincing myself that he is my only option. I love him, but I am not "in love" with him like I should be. I hate feeling this way, because when it happens other things start happening, and soon I will be seeking affection in areas I shouldn't have even been looking. I wouldn't cheat. been there, done that.. learned a valuable lesson.... I just hate that it even crosses my mind. I try to talk to him, to tell him how I feel- but it seems to go in one ear out the other. He hasn't even done anything wrong (aside from the controling issue), its just me not being satisfied. confusion sucks.