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triplesixer

Member Since 2002

Followers 27 Following 27

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Wednesday May 25, 2005

May 24, 2005
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Once love died, I found indifference. Once pacivity died, I found Hate. Noone is getting through to me. My words mean all of nothing. My actions are those of swine. This is what is written. This is how it's done. and this is how it feels.
Like Shit.
Prepare for rejection, you'll get no direction from me.
I bash myself with gladness. to keep from bashing you. I keep it all inside. and make it all my fault. (which prolle it is)
But I don't really care. cuz noone does much better. They may think, but they think wrong. These are just words. Such angry words. They don't need compliance, they don't need retort. They are but dark and rigid strokes, not meant for eyes or hearts. It's not about you. It's all about me. I'm in a place that only I can navigate. I've seen this place before, and it only brings about change.I've given all I can, and I'm sorry if you missed the chance, I have nothing left to give. I'm not giving up, but more like giving in. To myself, and to my god. A god thats still unknown. The forceful law of nature is not hard to understand. It speaks to me in volumes. but Like me, it cannot control the parasitic outbreak of the human species. or more-so the human characteristics we still choose to exploit. From this point on... I Choose ultimate success and sustianance or I seek Death. I've feared the thought of greatness. (as small or large as one can acheive) and sought acceptance from those who stand in line.Disregaurded for the need to speak free thought. Whinny, spoiled, lazy, lustfull. intoxicated. immoral. Slave. Human I am indeed.Bought and sold from the moment I was born. Full Blooded American. Rotten shit straight to the bone. The id's the ego's the figure headed sycophants. The injustice, the hate, ohh. the humanity. Little bags and little pills. little shots of alcohol. needles, snakes, and wine. This is what you love. and this is what you hate. This is what keeps me up at night and this is what stands in my way. I'd rather be unaware. for now I conceive all loss of feeling, and no reasoning for hope. This is my release. My only outlet for these thoughts. This is what I'm paying for. I have to let it breath. It cannot last forever. but for now it's off my hands.

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