trickynicki

Ok, I feel like that last one was just way too girly and needy for me. And no, I am not dating the person I mentioned. I always called him "my perfection." He is motivated and smart and gorgeous and tells me I'm beautiful. He's originally from Canton and moved down here so he just understands everything I say, even if he is a damn republican haha. We have always been friends w/ benefits. We don't see each other much but good Lord, when we do, fireworks. I mean we basically just worship each other. I can't say anything else other than he is perfect. I just feel like I have fewer and fewer people in my proximity so it hurt that another is leaving and it hurt b/c I care for him so much and it just shocked me when I started bawling about it. Anyways

The rest of this isn't going to be much happier, I'd stop reading if you're having a good day. I do promise a funny picture to close as always at least. I feel like I'm losing one of my best friends, like we are just slipping into that casual friendship thing. I hate it. I am debating whether or not it's worth writing this but it hurts. Maybe I'm just upset that he doesn't need me or seem to even want my help anymore. Maybe I'm jealous. I feel replaced or 3rd-wheelish even. Yeah, I love groups of people and I love when all my different friends get along but I would like personal time too. I just realized how blatantly obvious I made it as to who I am referring to. I'm going to stop. I'm not mad at anyone, I actually love them more than pretty much anything I've ever known, it all just sucks, ya know?

School started. My books were supposed to cost $450 this quarter. Thanks to amazon I cut that down to about $300 and I decided not to even buy my anthropology book. $100 is just too much and I can make copies of what I need. Guess that means I better actually attend lectures. I think I got the last of what I needed with Mia and Ash today. I've been trying to do a lot with Mia b/c her Grandpa died and she was as fond of him as I was of my grandfathers so I know she is hurting and trying her damnedest to cover it up.

I am going gray on the 10th.

Ok let me try to think of something cheerful. I really like the nail polish color I came up with tonight. It's black or the darkest blue possible but its a shiny iridescent blue in the light. The tattoo is all healed and the kitty is adjusting well. We were napping today and her paw was in my hand when I woke up, it was so cute.



American Gladiators premiered tonight and the I Love NY 2 Reunion was on so that made me feel much better. Mr. Wise is the sexiest thing alive. Seriously, he's my boy. I met Carl's son last week too, he's a cutie. He yelled at Carl for not making me dinner haha. I wish things were simpler in life in general. K, bye