trekka

So i've learned that I don't much care for the "advice" that some people give in regards to my relationship, which none of you really know too much about. I'm not trying to be a bitch by saying that. I understand that the whole lack-of-a-filter thing kind of makes me sound cunty sometimes and I apologize for that. I'm not REALLY a cunt. But, everyone is different and everyone loves differently and everyone requires different things in a "relationship". So I think what I got from this last experience is that I'm not gonna share a whole lot on my whole dating front because most of you don't know ME or what I need or want and while I know your intentions are good, your "Advice" or "nuggets of wisdom" kinda come off as pushy and... well.... wrong.

Again, TOTALLY not trying to be a bitch. I swear to god. Just speaking my mind. Most of you had nice things to say. But some of you had unintentional hurtful things to say and that I just ..... don't like.

With that said I will say this:
He and I talked tonight finally. We're giving us another shot but doing things differently this time around. I am NOT getting my hopes up for anything spectacular, I am not sacrificing anything that I want in life, I am not changing anything about myself. I had some time to think about what I really want right now and what I am actually capable of handling at the moment and as it turns out, I believe I need to dial things down a couple notches.

All you REALLY need to know is that I am happy about this decision and we'll just have to see in time where it takes me. Trust me on this.



I have been spending lots of time with my friends which has been nice. Isn't it funny how everyone is SOOOOO busy until something earth-shattering happens and then they all want to hang out? LOL Oh life. Silly silly life. But I'm seeing my mom tomorrow after work and then Thursday I'm driving an hour out of town to see my best friend Katie and go to an NA meeting with her. I'm sort of using it as free therapy right now until I find a good self-harm support group. Don't judge me. I won't show up loaded, I'm not disrespectful!

Still on the CRAZYYYYY job hunt! Been slangin resumes like no other! Also found a good temp agency that swears they have "TONS of jobs to fill". Hmmmm... we'll see. I have both a good and BAD past with temp agencies. but this is a new one for me and Katie's mom and sister both found bad ass jobs through it so I'm giving it a chance. I spent about 2 hours filling out applications and shit this AM through them so we'll see what happens. Honestly, at this point, I just need ANYTHING full time. I'm tired of this "25 hours here" and "30 hours there" bull shit. I just want a motherfucking REAL schedule and more importantly, a REAL paycheck. I love ya Vans, but dammit you've screwed me over a little.

Well, there's my midnight update. I am really sorry if I came off shitty. I know everyone's hearts are in the right place! And I love you all for showing me so much support! You're the best! Hopefully more soon.

In the meantime, follow me on Instagram! I shall follow you back! Username: zombie_kitty