trekka

It's over

He broke up with me last night. Said he's not ready for a relationship. That I'm amazing and he doesn't want to hurt me more down the road. Maybe he'll be ready for me someday but not now.



FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUCK!

I don't know if I've ever lost more tears in my life.

I may be checking myself into a mental hospital on a 51/50 because all I can think about is cutting myself to absolute shreds, even though I haven't done that in a loooong time. I don't think I can trust myself at all right now. Ithought I finally found the one. That's how it felt anyway. Maybe some absence will make him miss me. I'm ot going to count on it.

EDIT: I'm trying to avoid a hospitalization and am trying to be strong for once. I just wish it wasn't so goddamn hard. I went and had coffee with my best friend and she gave me some good advice that I needed to hear. Everyone seems to think he's going to come around after I give him some space. We'll see right? Anyways.... either way, this feels like absolute shit.