I'm my own worst enemy!
Soooo..... I really miss ska music. I feel like 2006 hit and it all disappeared. Why?! It's so fun and amazing to just jump around to! And remember the culture? And the fashion?! AMAZING. Grungy punky clothes? I'm bringin that shit back to my life starting NOW. Love love love it.
SoooOOOOoOOOoOoooOoo.....
Ah life. It's always such a bundle of joy, ain't it?! Ready for my mondo update? You better fucking be cuz it's comin at you full force riiiiiight now. I'll split it up into sections and spoiler the long ass stories so you can pick and choose what you want to actually read. I don't expect many of you to actually read all of it, so no worries.
Sooooo I told you Pat sorta "dumped" me, if you can call it that. He was super into making me his girlfriend on our second date and, no lie, I was prett excited about it. I really feel like I'm ready for a new healthy relationship with someone awesome and Pat certainly fit the bill. Then, he didn't talk to me for like 4 days and I was just sorta like.... "wtf?". Finally we connected on Facebook chat and we talked it all out. Apparently, he thought he was ready fr a new relationship, but when he's with someone he like to give them his all and he is incapable of that right now. He got a DUI earlier this year and is paying it all off and is looking for a new job and is going back to school and living with his parents and blah blah blah... He doesn't have the time or energy to contribute to a functioning relationship. he said he was sorry and if he wanted a relationship, I'd be first on his list.
Cool. Whatever.
It just sucked cuz I actually really liked him.
And while I'm on the topic, I'm kinda over all the little games that go along with dating. Why does it all have to be such a song and dance number? What happened to just finding someone who makes you happy and just going with the flow? Bleh... Whatevs.
Sooooo... apparently my friend Sheldon had a crush on me, unbeknownst to me. We would make out when we were drunk at parties and fool around while inebriated, but I didn't think he actually "liked" me. I thought we were just friends and having fun because we never really did anything together. We never even hooked up.
Well, when I started dating Pat, he just up and blocked me on FB and stopped returning my texts and messages. Whaaaaat the fuck? And my other friend Brad, who's been Sheldon's friend forevers, won't talk to me either. Like I did something terrible! Jesus christ...
And even NOW that I'm not even dating Pat anymore, he's too hurt or whatever bullshit to even talk to me. Seriously bro?
So now the group is basically nonexistent. Which is just suuuuuuuuuper rad.
Remember how I thought Katie and her boyfriend were all strung out on pills? Well, I thought that because our friend Heather told me that. So, I was concerned about Katie and just thinking "Great. I'm gonna have to have a serious convo with Katie about drugs and all this bull shit...".
Turns out, Heather is the one who's going overboard. She's been hitting me up every day for the last few days for my Xanax or "anything else". Apparently the other night she took about 6 Valum and drank half a bottle of vodka and went on a little driving spree. Suuuuuper smart. Got a DUI, which she doesn't seem to even be phased by. She even called me THIS morning at 7:30 AM. I didn't answer because I figured something was up that I don't feel like dealing with first thing in the AM. I texted her and told her that I have a headache but asked if she was alright. I got this text back (please note, I am quoting EXACTLY, with spelling errors, etc):
"VA. I please vet 15 or 20% of Xanax? It for me... ill pay you love"
Translation: Can I please get 15 or 20 Xanax? It's for me.. I'll pay you love
Rock bottom much?
The thing about Heather is this: She is 19 years old, doesn't know her mom at all because she left her her dad and her brother when Heather was 3 years old, her dad molested her when she was a kid... Her dad left for Iraq 2 years ago without even telling her, just left a note that said, "Going to war. Take care of your brother" who was like 14 at the time. When her dad came home from war, unannounced a couple months ago, he took all her furniture, put it in the front yard and told her to "figure it out". Also, she's a stripper at the Dollar Tree of strip clubs here in Sacramento and works with the shadiest fools.
*sigh*
I'm trying to be supportive because I know she needs some good people in her life, but she's making it really hard to feel sorry for her anymore. As morbid and shitty as this sounds, I'm sorta waiting for the phone call informing me of her overdose or some shit. She is just hell bent on ruining her life and she's on the right path for it.
Goddamn.
I don't really want to get into full detail about this because I'm trying to just vent about it, get it out of my system, and just leave it behind me forever.
I have been hanging out with brandon's little sister because we've always been really good friends and she's amazing. We try not to talk about B much, because it's like a conflict of interest sort of topic, for the obvious reasons. Well, the other night, she flipped out at him and told me all about it.
I guess, contrary to what Brando has told ME, he and his ugly girlfriend are moving in together. I'm not saying ugly just because I'm bitter, she really is not attractive. I guess he's already moved my dog and cat over to her house and shit and is kicking Brittany (his sis) out of their apartment. Rad. Fucking SUPER rad. Too bad he told me he doesn't even talk to that girl anymore and texted me not to long ago talking about how much he misses my "perfect ass".
Cool.
So.... Brando turned out to be my life's biggest disappointment.
At least I don't miss him anymore. I don't even wish him the best. I am even hoping for really fucked up things to happen to him like getting his beastly gf preggo and watching his life go down the drain.
I got up the other morning, was feeling pretty good, pulled on my sweatshirt and bounced downstairs to drink coffee and read the paper with my mom and step dad, the way I do every morning. I greet them, get my coffee, and head over to the fireplace to warm up before I dove into my Sudoku puzzle.
Next thing that comes out of my mom's mouth: "So, did you figure out what you're going to do with your rats when you move into your dad's in January?"
.......................................................................................
"Uhhhmmmmm..................................... what?" I asked.
"Well we talked about this when you moved in. That you couldn't be here indefinitely. And that you were going to move into your dad's after a while."
"Hmmm... Don't remember that conversation at all."
"You're joking right?" she asks with a chuckle.
"Nope. Not a joke. Do I look like I'm joking around?" I say with my eyes welling up with tears just thinking about the process of having to move AGAIN.
"You can't seriously be shocked by this. It's such a strain having you here..." and then she goes into how it's a strain on their marriage and all this other bull shit.
Let me just say, now I understand it and I am fine with it. But, hey mom! Way to start my fucking day!
It was a day long fight between me and my mom. And I don't mean just going back and forth bickering. I mean screaming, name calling, the whole bit. Which, I might add, does not happen often between me and my mom.
We made up later that night and all is well. I'm not particularly looking forward to the process of moving. But, my dad doesn't live far and he's pretty chill so it won't be that bad. It's just like, wow. Way to pull the rug out from under me, Captain Grouchy Pants!
So, this weekend, my dad and I begin the process of converting his office in his condo into a bedroom. It's going to take us til January, I'm sure of it. But, we'll get it done.
As you know, my camera has been broken for many moons now and I've had to survive on only iPhone photos which, let's face it, just do NOT cut it. My dad loves my photography and has been really bummed that I haven't been able to go on photo taking adventures lately cuz he knows how happy it makes me. Well, he decided to buy me my Christmas gift early and he bought me a new camera that is WAAAAAY better than my old one! It's a Canon PowerShot SX150 IS. Nothing too fancy, but certainly an upgrade from my POS $70 Nikon.
I haven't had a real chance to play with it, unfortunately. In fact, I may play with it today since I don't work until later. But, it has a lot of great features on it and even has a fish eye effect that I plan on using for hilarious animal pictures galore! But it takes pretty quality pictures, from what I've seen so far so I'm really looking forward to going outside and going on a mini nature adventure like old times and seeing what I can capture.
Here are some pics I've take so far..
So yeah, I'm looking forward to exploring it more!
If you've read my blogs for a while, by now you know I can't have the same hair do for too long or I go crazy. So, it was time for something new. Yesterday, I went to Katie's and we redyed the purple to keep it fresh and then we chopped away at my locks for a while...
We cut it into a kinda mohawk-esque sort of deal. I love it and it's suuuuper fun to play with. I'll take more photos today or something so you can ACTUALLY see it, but this is what I'm rockin now:
I'm in love.
Christmas is on its wayyyyy
Which means if you have not yet sent me your address and would like to receive a handmade card from me, time is running out! I've already gotten a few addresses for some of you but if you want something sweet from me, hurry and tell me where to send it! I just feel like doing something cute this year and while last year got away from me and I was unable to do cards, I -really- want to this time! You all have been so sweet and awesome to me and I wanna do something, even if it's as small at a holiday greeting, to repay you and show you how much I appreciate you all!
My longest update ever?????
Most likely. lol
I've just had a lot goin on and I felt like dumping it all out so I can move forward and leave all this behind me! So that's my next plan. Figuring out the whole "letting go and moving on" puzzle. I've got this! I'm not too worried (at the moment).
So my plan is to play with the camera tons and learn it, hang out with Thanatogenous ASAP because I miss her, start packing my shit to prepare for the move, get started on these Christmas cards, and SMILE as much as humanly possible!
I really hope this blog wasn't too long and boring. It's entirely possible that it was.... If it was, I apologize. But thanks for hangin in if you did! You guys seriously rock my world!
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You know where to find my wish list if you're interested in treating me
More updates with cool pictures soon to come, I'm sure! Love you all!
mines is on the left : P ,I got to put up some new pics for you to check out - and as always I love reading your blogs but really love your pics ( and not just the nude ones )
Peace out, bro! Enjoy your downgrade!
That shit made me laugh so hard I may have ruptured something.
I love your blog. I LOVE your new hair. I love you!