Americ-uhhhh
So, happy 4th of July to those patriotic americans out there in SG land! And happy 4th to those un-patriotic americans as well who are gonna celebrate your independence the way you should: BBQing and getting hammered drunk and doing drugs and blowing shit up. Go America! lol America... such a lovely concept, right? Hmmmmm
Ok ok! I'll leave my political standings at the door.. Haha!
In any case, today is, in fact, a lovely U.S. holiday that I hope I will be partaking in. I may get to go over to Thanatogenous's house and chill with her and her hubster. If not, I'm not sure what my plans will be. My mom is having a bunch of family and shit come over for a BBQ which may appear fun, to the naked eye. In my world, that is no picnic. lol My family stresses me out more than I can even begin to express to you. So, if plans fall through with Thana, I will most likely end up going to bar and drinking alone just so I do not have to be here for the madness that is Trekka Fam.
In other news...
I have been on another emotional roller coaster, as some of you may have noticed over the last week or so. I am having a really difficult time actually applying the tools I was taught in that program I was in. Coping skills were once non-existent in my universe up until about 3 weeks ago, so it's involving a lot of discipline on my end, which, coincidentally, was also non-existent for me. So, the work is starting to wear on me a little. My mind body and soul are all exhausted and I'm doing everything in my power to keep my head above water. I can't let myself drown after all that hard work! I got a little reality check from my best friend, Chrysis, the other day. She put me in check when I needed it and I appreciate it greatly.. even if I may not show it as outwardly as I perhaps should. I've also had some lovely individuals like MEEEE who do everything in their power to make me smile on my low days and help me celebrate the high ones. And people like jimcurt99 who remind me that I am the only one who can "make" me happy on the days that I seem to forget. And of course all my beautiful, wonderful girl friends like Thanatogenous, Jaxy, Ashlynn and many others who sympathize with me and help me feel not so alone.
I appreciate every single last one of you more than words can explain and I feel beyond blessed to be a part of this beautifully dysfunctional family that we call SG.
You are the ones who point out those little lights at the end of this terrifying tunnel and I thank you from the bottom of my heavy heart.
Does anyone else feel like time is going in slow mo because they're so excited about Hell City?! Ahhhhh! Me and Thanatogenous spent a good portion of our hang out the other night talking about the excitement that will be going down and.... I absolutely cannot wait! I may be entering my new sternum piece into one of the contests, Thana thinks I should and she even has an AMAING top that she's going to let me borrow that shows it off perfectly. God, I am so elated and I feel so lucky to be going with such incredible people. Also, I'm learning of more and more people as the weeks go by that I will get a chance to meet from SG so... yeah. This is going to be a great experience!
Wanna get raped by pictures?
Then click this spoiler, it's full of me, dogs, and some nature... in no particular order:
What else has been going on....?
OH!
This weekend I applied for a job that I genuinely want! It's a retail job, of all things, which would be a badass employee discount to have, as well as provide a means for me to earn money to save up to get the fuck out of my parents' house. So, I'm really keeping my fingers crossed on this one and you guys should too! Haha! I really need to get the ball rolling on reclaiming my independence as an adult. FOR REAL. So please please please, manager guy at Vans, HIRE ME! You won't regret it, bro! lol
I have been doing my best to practice my hooping recently as well. But the over 100 degree weather is proving to be incredibly taxing on my body. So, I've been able to push through a couple 20 minute practice sessions over the last week and I've perfected a couple things that I was working on. So that's super exciting! I just wish I was in better shape or more able to handle the heat so that I could practice MORE. But, whatever. Every little bit counts! I've been watching YouTube videos of badass hoopers over the last couple days and I really wanna get there! Practice !!!! 
Am I babbling now? Eesh... I think I may be. Sorry! I should wrap this shit up!
OH! One more thing! I have an exact idea of what I'd like my next set to be and I'm really really excited about it. Working on locking down a staff photographer and a date. I really feel like I still have a lot more in me that needs to shine and I feel confident that I can accomplish something even better than what I have before. Genuinely! And I'm excited to do a set with my new chest piece! So, hopefully I can get everything coordinated. 
Well, thanks for hanging in there, if you did, with this blog. It was all sort of random and possibly irrelevant and I express my greatest apologies for that! You all are such awesome people and I appreciate your continued love and support to me, my sets in MR, and my random nonsensical ramblings. Each and every one of you has a special place in this heavy heart of mine. For true! lol So thank you ALL. 
Alright, time to shower and pull myself together for the day!
Remember to keep smiling, no matter how hard it may feel!
Annnnnnnnnnnnd....
America!
The End
x's and o's like woahs!
THE Trekka lol
