<<I google searched "opposites" and this is what came up. AMAZING MUCH?!>>
Well, it's February 1st and today, the sun came out to visit us in California.
"Oh please oh please oh please Mr Sun. Shine this way!"
Mozart loooooves when the sun starts to shine through our sliding glass door and gives him a blanket of light to bask in.
It's not quite to that point yet, but it's comin.... He's got his sights set on it. lolANYWAYS!!! Because Mr. Sun visited today, I decided to take advantage of the opportunity and go on one of my famous nature adventures.
[If you're just joining us now, my vintage nature adventures can be found here, HeRe, and even HERE! lol enjoi
]So, I packed my backpack with the following items:
-journal
-pen
-My copy of Soul Pancake, I never leave home without it (Pssssst! Riviere, don't get this book. It may or may not be one of the many fun items in the package in my backseat with your name and address on it waiting for $$$ to be shipped
)-a blankie (to lay on, obviously
)-camera
-earbuds
-iPhone (duh)
-DL with donor info and blood type and medical record card (did I mention that as one of my OCD ticks? Yeah.... I don't go ANYWHERE without those)
Basically, I was ready to rock and roll. I drove to the nearest park, selected my theme music, and began my adventure...
<<Get ready. My music selection will ALWAYS keep you on your toes.>>
Luckily I wore my tattered jeans and combat boots for this one because I decided to do this Bug's Eye View.
I was a little bummed because everything was muddy and it made it IMPOSSIBLE for me to get to some areas of the park. Lame
But apparently, right next to the park is this:
Then.... home to change out of my muddy boots and stuffs...
She just can't get enough of me! lol
Remember the side effect I said I have from my Valium? Yeah.... I'm alone tonight 
But ya know what?
Puscifer makes me wanna shoop!
Le sigh
So today I was thinking about this whole "quitting my job" thing and where it's got me and what my next move it, la la la. It's funny, I really expected myself to be crippled by panic attacks over this. Like, I swear to god, the first day, I went home and packed a backpack with sweat pants and shit to go have myself fuckin committed or something. HAHA! I laugh, but that's because I have learned to find the humor in my craziness. I literally thought I was gonna have to saddle up and put myself in the hospital. Normally, situations like this would throw me into a SUPREME anxiety attack, during which I would blackout and end up doing who-knows-what!
I don't know if it's the new meds, but I feel incredible. I feel like me again. I think there, at my job, I held the real me back so much because the real me would never have fit in there. So I created yet another personality for myself so that I could comfortably work with different personality types. I have gotten pretty fucking good at that over the years. Well, it's like when I left there... I found myself again.
I know who I am again. Or I am at least living comfortably under the misconception that I know who I am. O__o
Either way... I think I'm happy.
I mean, yeah, I've been a little low about a few things. I think I completely destroyed my friendship with someone who was close to me. And that sucks and hurts and I feel so out of control of the whole situation and that kills me. There's literally nothing I can do at this point on that front other than giver her time and space and hope our ties can be mended.
And money is tighter than ever. I mean.... really. tight.
And although my scale says differently, I feel like every moment I look in the mirror, I go up a size.
And I'm feeling really overwhelmed with what I need to do to get this new business rolling right now...
But these are all things I feel like I can handle. Where as a couple months ago, I'd be figuratively and literally be seeing red. Whatever that means, right? :/
Point is, I think I'm happy!
...or getting there! Either way is fine by me.
Oh and now that I'm not working, I have looooooots of free time on my hands and can, on occasion, be mildly entertaining. 
Tumblr
Twitter
Formspring
Alsoooooo.......
My b-day is coming up (March 10) and normally I don't whore myself out for gifts and play all "poor me! buy me things!" because I think it's tacky. BUT because some of you are bad ass and have ASKED me so generously what I wanted for my b-day, I have updated my WISH LIST lol. That's all I have to say on that!
Well, I think it's time for me to put on my jammies and find something mindless on TV to dive into.
xoxox
Trekka
SUPER DUPER IMPORTANT EDIT!!!!!! Deticated to my lovely friends who were there for me the last few low, low days:
Picture me way overly dramatically lip synching this into my TV remote in my jammies. Because that's what's happening... right.... now.... 
LOLOLOL
Thanks love <3