Sunday Blog (February 3, 2008)
So I took the VCP test and FAILED! Meh. I need to study harder, play with it more, and then I will take it again end of FEB. Such is the way of things.
I just finished watching Children of Men for the second time. The movie is very well done BUT it's very depressing. I think the most profound thing about this portrayal of an event like this? It will probably end up just like this author thinks. I believe our society is a fragile thin veil that barely contains the natural state of barbarism and selfishness that boils underneath. I am certain when the big plague or natural disaster comes, we will probably consume each other with violence long before the actual disaster takes it final toll. Don't you just LOVE this side of me?
I updated the map for the upcoming Solomon Kane adventure for ConQuest 2008. I am starting to get the hang of CC3. This means I get to dig deeper into the advanced tools. Should be fun. So far cartography is by far one of the more satisfying creative endeavors, at least I am enjoying more than most. Outside that I have made PILES of updates to the web site (www.10nw-web.com in case you read this from one of my other blogs). Soon I should be upgraded to Joomla 1.5, after I watch the chaos of users upgrading over the next month or two. Still, I love the software and its well worth the wait.
I have been having a shit of a time convincing anyone to play an RPG with me. I think with this last attempt that I have finally burnt every bridge I have in this town; either by proxy or direct air strike. I have been thinking about what I have here. I have piles of friends but I still feel alone. I have my father who hangs out regularly, but I still feel alone. Maybe I just need to find contentment in what I have; there are certainly people worse off. I just feel like maybe my run here in the Pacific Northwest is over. I hardly have anything in common with my friends with families. I think ultimately that I continue to struggle with taking care of myself. I don't see much of a point anymore. Ah, this is a depressing monologue. Bah. I bought a condo. I have to give this a go for at least a whole year. If I can't get a regular group going and I can't get some kind of routine and normalcy built here by April 2009, I will seriously consider leaving. In fact, several of my friends all have plans to leave this year anyway.
I Netflixed a movie called Slow Burn. It has Jolene Blalock in it!! She even gets NAKED in a couple scenes!! Seriously, she did a great job and the movie has some interesting twists. It also has LL Cool J who I think is a master actor. He is fucking awesome in everything I see. It had Ray Liota as well. All in all, not a bad flick.
I watched the Super Bowl. Yes, I watched the Super Bowl. It was actually a romping good time as I watched the underdogs hand it to the perfect record favored team. NY Giants - excellent job indeed. Some of the commercials were a blast as well. My favorite stuff is when the terminator and the football robot duke it out. At the last bit, several football robots show up to hand it to the terminator. It was cool.
My parents just got socked with a $1700 bill for apartment expenses that they didn't know about. It seems certain people they cosigned with left the place in a serious mess. I mean, that's like three months rent in that place. My parents keep getting screwed and they keep giving. It's remarkable really as I would be killing people by now. My dad has to pay it or he could lose his job. No matter how hard they try, they beg, they plead, but certain people simply think of my parents as a meal ticket\ATM\kicking bag.
Of course, the same people hit my credit report with an unpaid parking ticket. My parents picked that one up too. I have nearly lost any respect for humanity. How is it that people can work so hard to fuck their own family? You see what I'm talking about?! If these people are willing to fleece their own family in our regular society could you imagine what acts of depravity they would be capable of without the veneer of it? Fuck roving gangs of sociopaths, they would be the least of my worries. Not to mention the excellent example this sets for the kids. Don't want to pay for something you bought? Don't. Don't want to pay your bills? Don't. Don't want to pay back people you borrow money from? Don't. Don't want to take the time to give a shit about anything? DON'T!! Just do what you want to whom you want. I mean in the end what are they going to about it? Nothing. No good deed goes unpunished. Period.
Of course, the pad response to this rant will be a long string of excuses followed by screaming about why I am such an ass, villain, evil uncaring person. What reason could I possibly have to forsake my struggling family members? I have an obligation to give and take care of and sacrifice. There is no real reason for it. Except that I don't believe them anymore. I have lost the capacity to give a shit. Now, that is not good mind you but it is what it is. Once you get lied to 100 times, you become numb. The tune never changes. The actions never change. The problems never change. It's like life is a Ground Hog Day in a prison camp where you get to deal with the same people over and over again and then get kicked in the balls over and over again. Oh, and your family's the ones in front pointing and laughing at you. I guess the consolation is that my parents are down there getting kicked with me. Everything's better when you're with someone, even a good public beating
I knew I shouldn't have watched that fucking movie.
So I took the VCP test and FAILED! Meh. I need to study harder, play with it more, and then I will take it again end of FEB. Such is the way of things.
I just finished watching Children of Men for the second time. The movie is very well done BUT it's very depressing. I think the most profound thing about this portrayal of an event like this? It will probably end up just like this author thinks. I believe our society is a fragile thin veil that barely contains the natural state of barbarism and selfishness that boils underneath. I am certain when the big plague or natural disaster comes, we will probably consume each other with violence long before the actual disaster takes it final toll. Don't you just LOVE this side of me?
I updated the map for the upcoming Solomon Kane adventure for ConQuest 2008. I am starting to get the hang of CC3. This means I get to dig deeper into the advanced tools. Should be fun. So far cartography is by far one of the more satisfying creative endeavors, at least I am enjoying more than most. Outside that I have made PILES of updates to the web site (www.10nw-web.com in case you read this from one of my other blogs). Soon I should be upgraded to Joomla 1.5, after I watch the chaos of users upgrading over the next month or two. Still, I love the software and its well worth the wait.
I have been having a shit of a time convincing anyone to play an RPG with me. I think with this last attempt that I have finally burnt every bridge I have in this town; either by proxy or direct air strike. I have been thinking about what I have here. I have piles of friends but I still feel alone. I have my father who hangs out regularly, but I still feel alone. Maybe I just need to find contentment in what I have; there are certainly people worse off. I just feel like maybe my run here in the Pacific Northwest is over. I hardly have anything in common with my friends with families. I think ultimately that I continue to struggle with taking care of myself. I don't see much of a point anymore. Ah, this is a depressing monologue. Bah. I bought a condo. I have to give this a go for at least a whole year. If I can't get a regular group going and I can't get some kind of routine and normalcy built here by April 2009, I will seriously consider leaving. In fact, several of my friends all have plans to leave this year anyway.
I Netflixed a movie called Slow Burn. It has Jolene Blalock in it!! She even gets NAKED in a couple scenes!! Seriously, she did a great job and the movie has some interesting twists. It also has LL Cool J who I think is a master actor. He is fucking awesome in everything I see. It had Ray Liota as well. All in all, not a bad flick.
I watched the Super Bowl. Yes, I watched the Super Bowl. It was actually a romping good time as I watched the underdogs hand it to the perfect record favored team. NY Giants - excellent job indeed. Some of the commercials were a blast as well. My favorite stuff is when the terminator and the football robot duke it out. At the last bit, several football robots show up to hand it to the terminator. It was cool.
My parents just got socked with a $1700 bill for apartment expenses that they didn't know about. It seems certain people they cosigned with left the place in a serious mess. I mean, that's like three months rent in that place. My parents keep getting screwed and they keep giving. It's remarkable really as I would be killing people by now. My dad has to pay it or he could lose his job. No matter how hard they try, they beg, they plead, but certain people simply think of my parents as a meal ticket\ATM\kicking bag.
Of course, the same people hit my credit report with an unpaid parking ticket. My parents picked that one up too. I have nearly lost any respect for humanity. How is it that people can work so hard to fuck their own family? You see what I'm talking about?! If these people are willing to fleece their own family in our regular society could you imagine what acts of depravity they would be capable of without the veneer of it? Fuck roving gangs of sociopaths, they would be the least of my worries. Not to mention the excellent example this sets for the kids. Don't want to pay for something you bought? Don't. Don't want to pay your bills? Don't. Don't want to pay back people you borrow money from? Don't. Don't want to take the time to give a shit about anything? DON'T!! Just do what you want to whom you want. I mean in the end what are they going to about it? Nothing. No good deed goes unpunished. Period.
Of course, the pad response to this rant will be a long string of excuses followed by screaming about why I am such an ass, villain, evil uncaring person. What reason could I possibly have to forsake my struggling family members? I have an obligation to give and take care of and sacrifice. There is no real reason for it. Except that I don't believe them anymore. I have lost the capacity to give a shit. Now, that is not good mind you but it is what it is. Once you get lied to 100 times, you become numb. The tune never changes. The actions never change. The problems never change. It's like life is a Ground Hog Day in a prison camp where you get to deal with the same people over and over again and then get kicked in the balls over and over again. Oh, and your family's the ones in front pointing and laughing at you. I guess the consolation is that my parents are down there getting kicked with me. Everything's better when you're with someone, even a good public beating
I knew I shouldn't have watched that fucking movie.
moira:
Hey, thanks for commenting on my new set!