toxii

i just can`t do this anymore. i am putting up such a charade for myself. i almost believe it at times. i try & i try & i try. & sometimes i think i might have accomplished my goal.. yet i know deep down inside, i have only pushed myself farther. i just want to erase everything.. sometimes. which is one of the many reason i love that movie. because i know exactly how she felt when she realized he needed to be erased. because i feel it too. because it gets too difficult sometimes. its too hard to face. its too hard to deal with. for whatever the reasons. god there are so many reasons. for everything. for the way i feel. for how it ended. for how it began. for us not being able to be together. there are so many excuses. for all the same reasons.

i can`t get over you. & i think i am going to stop trying.