I was giving a private dance last night for a patron from out of town. He seemed about early thirties and had a very nice smile. We talked a little about where he was from and about his life. He mentioned that his wife had suggested him going there. I continued to dance and when it was almost over the patron asked me "how much to take you back to my hotel tonight and fuck you?"
I looked at him in the eyes sternly and said "Aren't you married?" to which he responded "What she doesn't know won't hurt her." I cringed, shook my head and responded "I feel sorry for your wife, you should be ashamed of yourself." Being a recent divorce' I understand marriage can seem like a burden sometimes, but in my opinion cheating is wrong.Granted other peoples relationships are none of my business... When you make it my business though I will express how I feel.
Now what I mean by cheating is creeping around on your partner without their knowledge or consent. Some people spice up their relationships with making them open, swinging, and even "hall passes". When an agreement is made between partners then it's fine. When you look into your partner's eyes and tell them you could never be intimate with anyone but you and they do... that's a feeling I've experienced in the past many times.
It's men like that patron that make me put my guard up even more. Before Shaun every boyfriend I had cheated on me. One of them with multiple people. My ex before Shaun for example... hooked up with a girl moments before then crawled into bed and fucked me. Looked into my eyes and lied to me. When I found out later I felt so disgusted because I had defended him when people told me he was cheating. I didn't even trust Shaun completely until we were married. Which now I know for a relationship to be successful you must have trust. If you feel the need to stray then walk away. Better to end it then betray someone's trust. I have never cheated. I believe any relationship can only be successful with trust, respect, and honesty.
I am a peculiar creature though... The way I view sex and relationships sometimes bothers people. Always called a prude or a cock tease. People shame me sometimes for my virtues and morals. I have only been completely intimate with 3 men in my life which I was all in relationships with. I have never had a one night stand nor do I plan to. Don't get me wrong I love sex... I love the feeling of skin on skin and the feeling of complete...absolute pleasure. I only want that though with someone I feel some sort of connection with mentally as well as physically. When after sex all you can do is think of that person, crave them even more, it's the strongest high you will ever experience.
Lately I've been overwhelmed by the amount of people who have tried to "hook up" with me. To see and feel that side of me is something I reserve for those I believe are exquisite creatures. I have plenty of men I could go after but that's not my style. It says a lot about a guy if I want to spend my time with him. The guy who will call/text you the next day... or even better sleeps with you the whole night. I have had men who have told me in the past they thought I was the most incredible person... and when I they tried to sleep with me without success... flipped a complete 180. Still at 25 years old I refused to be used by someone, to be another notch on a belt, to be a conquest. I believe all guys aren't the same. Of course I've got a big heart and sometimes I'm too naïve. So I can't wear my heart on my sleeve... because that's how you get hurt.
The thing is I know who I am... I know what I want... and I won't change or settle for less.
Only get what you want...
So until that happens I can wait... Good things come to those who wait right?
Thanks for reading xoxoxo, your Toxy
