Hello Kittens,
For all you who don't know I've been an exotic dancer for nearly 3 years now. I have worked at many clubs in the Portland Metro area and even in my short life as a dancer compared to many have entertainment at the cost of others on a daily. I am constantly sharing my stories and my personal expeinces with others. A friend suggested I should blog about it and share with others. To vent or maybe make you chuckle a little. So Hence this blog. So I hope you enjoy my stories of the life I live on the daily.
Volume One...
Things You Should Know
Being a dancer isn't as easy as it looks, seems, or appears to be. Constantly I hear dumb fucktards state that they wished they "could go shake their ass and have someone pay all of their bills." Anyone who has this analogy is an idiot. Everyday us dancers get to deal with so much bullshit to make our money. We don't make an hourly, only tips. You wouldn't believe how many cheap people come into a strip club to get a free show. When we remind them where they are at, and they need to tip douchebag calls me a bitch. To sum it up if anyone tells me one more time my job is "so easy" can be handed my 6 inch stripper heels and they can show me how it's done.
I feel the need to educate a few of you. Most people these days have a fucked up distorted view on strippers. Insecure house wives who watch too much Maury and Tyra who think ALL strippers are prostitutes and out to get their men. Well to clear the air that is not the case. Oregon actually has a no touching rule. Some clubs slightly bend it but not the clubs I work at. Granted there are bad apples in the bunch, even more lately then before but this is a tiny percentage. Believe me us good girls hate those bitches more then you can imagine, and we make it known. Most of the dancers I know are single mothers, college students, or just good girls trying to pay the bills just like everyone else. Also we don't want your men and have no intrest in your man outside of his pocket book.
The other misconception is that we are all drug addicts. This is another false fact. Not saying some strippers don't use because they do. I personally do not do any hard drugs. I'm not going to lie pot is a different story but that is the farthest I have ever gone. Cocaine, shooting up, and popping pills not my scene. Drugs do exisit. I have not ever seen anyone do drugs in front of me at a strip club, but I hear stories. Clubs also have strict club policies for the most part.
So please stop looking down on strippers treating them like they are "not people" and don't deserve your respect. Especially Men who think it's cool to talk down to strippers. It doesn't make you look macho, you just look like a douche bag.
Little things that make strippers cringe
I thought I would share my biggest pet peeves in the club. Haha well I think many of my fellow strippers may share the feeling of annoyance when it comes to these little things.
1. Please Don't blow on my vagina... yeah you read right. I don't know who started this trend but really it has got to go. For one it is not sexy, does not turn me on, and I can't help but be completley grossed out thinking your spit particles might be on my cooter. Unless I'm with my intamate lover at home and he has an intensifying cream which you blow on to arrouse I do not want anyone blowing on my who ha!
2. When I am giving you a lap dance do not hump the air. It's just very strange and you look ridiculous.
3. Please do not call your penis a weenie, weener, or any other pre mature ejaculation of names. Are you fucking 5? Also do not ask me if I want to touch it. It makes you look like a scum ball.
4. Men please stop wearing your gym shorts to the club. You know why just please stop doing it.
5. To all the women who frequent strip clubs I want to tell you we have nothing against you. In fact we love you and giving you attention for the most part. This isn't directed toward all ladies just the ones in a select group. I am talking about the Stupid bitches group to be in this club you must follow a certain criteria
-You get dressed up to go to the strip club, don't tip, get mad that your boyfriend is tipping or sitting at a dancers rack.
-Sitting in the back or even at the rack talking shit about the dancer and how you think your hotter than the dancer.
-You glare at the dancer, talk down to the dancer, and try to act better than the dancer. You just look really pathetic it's really hillarious.
To sum this up Bitches you knew where you were coming to, You could have stayed home but you didn't. So stop acting like a cunt because this isn't about you...they aren't there to see you they are to see some fucking strippers. So drink your fucking cosmo and shut the fuck up.
6. Men do not tell me how to do my job. Do not tell me to dancer slower, take off my clothes faster, or spread my legs for you. You do that and my stripper heel will have to be lodged into your ass. Giving me a dollar does not make you my boss. I respond to money not the demands of fucktards.
7. If you sit at the rack it is a minimum of a dollar PER song PER person. No 2 for ones, group specials, or couples sharing a dollar. You sit at the rack you better be tipping. If your watching you should be tipping. We don't come to your job and steal money from you, so don't steal from us. This isn't a charity, no free tits, ass, and pussy. If you cannot tip go to a regular bar.
Okay enough ranting on that subject now we will address another subject.
Da da da dumb strippers!
I'm not saying all strippers are stupid lol, actually I only know a few that really top my list. So I would love to share 5 of the dumbest Stripper Statements I have ever heard or have been told about.
1. A dancer was tipping out a DJ friend of mine. She hadn't tipped him the right amout, He tried to imform her she miscounted and needed to double check her math. She replied "It's not math it's numbers."
2. A dancer was done giving a private dance and came in the dressing room upset. She decided to share with everyone why she was... "That was the third guy I have given a dance to who came during the dance."
All of us starred at her with the same thought "Hooker."
3. A dancer was listening to a song titled "Cyclone." She went up to the bouncer and stated "Did you know cyclone is like the wind?" with the most blank look of question on her face.
4 A dancer was getting a ride home from a driver friend of mine. She said she was having back problems. The driver suggested that she go see a doctor. She replied "I don't know any doctors who don't check for STD's."
5.A dancer was looking at a new rule sign hanging in the dressing room. A rule listed Dancers must wear heals at all times. Heels was mispelled so the staff had corrected it with a sharpie. She stated "Why did they cross it out, it was spelled right the first time. H-e-a-l-s...What dumbasses And they thing strippers are dumb."
I was thinking No sweetheart just you
Stay metal =D!
That concludes this blog. I hope you enjoyed reading and make sure to stay tuned for future stripper stories
. Just remember don't be a douchebag and bring your ones! Always, Me xoxo Toxic
Remember to
follow me on twitter to hear more funny stripper stories
http://www.twitter.com/SGToxic
And add me on facebook
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Toxic-Suicide/112703025425055?ref=sgm
Friend Me on Myspace!
http://www.myspace.com/yourtoxicaddiction
PDXer's come see me dance sometime my dancing schedule
http://www.xoticspot.com/ToxicSuicide
For all you who don't know I've been an exotic dancer for nearly 3 years now. I have worked at many clubs in the Portland Metro area and even in my short life as a dancer compared to many have entertainment at the cost of others on a daily. I am constantly sharing my stories and my personal expeinces with others. A friend suggested I should blog about it and share with others. To vent or maybe make you chuckle a little. So Hence this blog. So I hope you enjoy my stories of the life I live on the daily.
Volume One...
Things You Should Know
Being a dancer isn't as easy as it looks, seems, or appears to be. Constantly I hear dumb fucktards state that they wished they "could go shake their ass and have someone pay all of their bills." Anyone who has this analogy is an idiot. Everyday us dancers get to deal with so much bullshit to make our money. We don't make an hourly, only tips. You wouldn't believe how many cheap people come into a strip club to get a free show. When we remind them where they are at, and they need to tip douchebag calls me a bitch. To sum it up if anyone tells me one more time my job is "so easy" can be handed my 6 inch stripper heels and they can show me how it's done.
I feel the need to educate a few of you. Most people these days have a fucked up distorted view on strippers. Insecure house wives who watch too much Maury and Tyra who think ALL strippers are prostitutes and out to get their men. Well to clear the air that is not the case. Oregon actually has a no touching rule. Some clubs slightly bend it but not the clubs I work at. Granted there are bad apples in the bunch, even more lately then before but this is a tiny percentage. Believe me us good girls hate those bitches more then you can imagine, and we make it known. Most of the dancers I know are single mothers, college students, or just good girls trying to pay the bills just like everyone else. Also we don't want your men and have no intrest in your man outside of his pocket book.
The other misconception is that we are all drug addicts. This is another false fact. Not saying some strippers don't use because they do. I personally do not do any hard drugs. I'm not going to lie pot is a different story but that is the farthest I have ever gone. Cocaine, shooting up, and popping pills not my scene. Drugs do exisit. I have not ever seen anyone do drugs in front of me at a strip club, but I hear stories. Clubs also have strict club policies for the most part.
So please stop looking down on strippers treating them like they are "not people" and don't deserve your respect. Especially Men who think it's cool to talk down to strippers. It doesn't make you look macho, you just look like a douche bag.
Little things that make strippers cringe
I thought I would share my biggest pet peeves in the club. Haha well I think many of my fellow strippers may share the feeling of annoyance when it comes to these little things.
1. Please Don't blow on my vagina... yeah you read right. I don't know who started this trend but really it has got to go. For one it is not sexy, does not turn me on, and I can't help but be completley grossed out thinking your spit particles might be on my cooter. Unless I'm with my intamate lover at home and he has an intensifying cream which you blow on to arrouse I do not want anyone blowing on my who ha!
2. When I am giving you a lap dance do not hump the air. It's just very strange and you look ridiculous.
3. Please do not call your penis a weenie, weener, or any other pre mature ejaculation of names. Are you fucking 5? Also do not ask me if I want to touch it. It makes you look like a scum ball.
4. Men please stop wearing your gym shorts to the club. You know why just please stop doing it.
5. To all the women who frequent strip clubs I want to tell you we have nothing against you. In fact we love you and giving you attention for the most part. This isn't directed toward all ladies just the ones in a select group. I am talking about the Stupid bitches group to be in this club you must follow a certain criteria
-You get dressed up to go to the strip club, don't tip, get mad that your boyfriend is tipping or sitting at a dancers rack.
-Sitting in the back or even at the rack talking shit about the dancer and how you think your hotter than the dancer.
-You glare at the dancer, talk down to the dancer, and try to act better than the dancer. You just look really pathetic it's really hillarious.
To sum this up Bitches you knew where you were coming to, You could have stayed home but you didn't. So stop acting like a cunt because this isn't about you...they aren't there to see you they are to see some fucking strippers. So drink your fucking cosmo and shut the fuck up.
6. Men do not tell me how to do my job. Do not tell me to dancer slower, take off my clothes faster, or spread my legs for you. You do that and my stripper heel will have to be lodged into your ass. Giving me a dollar does not make you my boss. I respond to money not the demands of fucktards.
7. If you sit at the rack it is a minimum of a dollar PER song PER person. No 2 for ones, group specials, or couples sharing a dollar. You sit at the rack you better be tipping. If your watching you should be tipping. We don't come to your job and steal money from you, so don't steal from us. This isn't a charity, no free tits, ass, and pussy. If you cannot tip go to a regular bar.
Okay enough ranting on that subject now we will address another subject.
Da da da dumb strippers!
I'm not saying all strippers are stupid lol, actually I only know a few that really top my list. So I would love to share 5 of the dumbest Stripper Statements I have ever heard or have been told about.
1. A dancer was tipping out a DJ friend of mine. She hadn't tipped him the right amout, He tried to imform her she miscounted and needed to double check her math. She replied "It's not math it's numbers."
2. A dancer was done giving a private dance and came in the dressing room upset. She decided to share with everyone why she was... "That was the third guy I have given a dance to who came during the dance."
All of us starred at her with the same thought "Hooker."
3. A dancer was listening to a song titled "Cyclone." She went up to the bouncer and stated "Did you know cyclone is like the wind?" with the most blank look of question on her face.
4 A dancer was getting a ride home from a driver friend of mine. She said she was having back problems. The driver suggested that she go see a doctor. She replied "I don't know any doctors who don't check for STD's."
5.A dancer was looking at a new rule sign hanging in the dressing room. A rule listed Dancers must wear heals at all times. Heels was mispelled so the staff had corrected it with a sharpie. She stated "Why did they cross it out, it was spelled right the first time. H-e-a-l-s...What dumbasses And they thing strippers are dumb."
I was thinking No sweetheart just you
Stay metal =D!
That concludes this blog. I hope you enjoyed reading and make sure to stay tuned for future stripper stories
. Just remember don't be a douchebag and bring your ones! Always, Me xoxo ToxicRemember to
follow me on twitter to hear more funny stripper stories
http://www.twitter.com/SGToxic
And add me on facebook
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Toxic-Suicide/112703025425055?ref=sgm
Friend Me on Myspace!
http://www.myspace.com/yourtoxicaddiction
PDXer's come see me dance sometime my dancing schedule
http://www.xoticspot.com/ToxicSuicide
VIEW 25 of 46 COMMENTS
If I'm ever in Portland, I'd love to see you dance. I'd tip generously, and I swear I wouldn't wear gym shorts, hump the air, nor would I blow on anything/anyone!
Great blog!