yesterday was a fucking horrible day... so i'll vent first before i say any else...
my roommate was an hour late picking me up from the airport. nothing serious, it just put me a bit behind. the didn't really start until i had a blowout on the way to work and no spare. so i was late to work. my coworker then proceeded to screw me into an extra hour outside in the fucking cold. i'm gonna choke that fucker within an inch of his life today, i swear to god. then when i got off work, my roommate was 2 hrs late picking me up, he had gotten drunk and passed out. as he was still drunk, he elected me to drive, which was for the best as we pulled over on the way home. i don't have a driver's license. the car reeked of booze. after a lengthy sobriety test for me and a long explanation of why i was driving without a license, we were released. it could have been alot worse, but it still sucked. i got home, took my boots off and passed the fuck out....
yesterday was bad for another reason... i had to leave her again. leaving is always the most painful thing for me to do. i am so happy in her arms, in our bed and it kills me to leave. walking into the airport is the hardest thing i have to do. i wonder why i do it at all. i had several hours standing out in the cold to think about it. why do i do this to myself and to her? i used to think it was so i could take better care of us, but now i don't think so. i shouldn't be here without her. i shouldn't be anywhere, doing anything without her. it's just not right. she needs me and i'm not there with her, where i belong. i can't do this anymore... i'm going crazy not being with the one person i want to be with. she has made all the suffering in my life disappear. i have to get back to her at any cost... she's all that matters to me.
my roommate was an hour late picking me up from the airport. nothing serious, it just put me a bit behind. the didn't really start until i had a blowout on the way to work and no spare. so i was late to work. my coworker then proceeded to screw me into an extra hour outside in the fucking cold. i'm gonna choke that fucker within an inch of his life today, i swear to god. then when i got off work, my roommate was 2 hrs late picking me up, he had gotten drunk and passed out. as he was still drunk, he elected me to drive, which was for the best as we pulled over on the way home. i don't have a driver's license. the car reeked of booze. after a lengthy sobriety test for me and a long explanation of why i was driving without a license, we were released. it could have been alot worse, but it still sucked. i got home, took my boots off and passed the fuck out....
yesterday was bad for another reason... i had to leave her again. leaving is always the most painful thing for me to do. i am so happy in her arms, in our bed and it kills me to leave. walking into the airport is the hardest thing i have to do. i wonder why i do it at all. i had several hours standing out in the cold to think about it. why do i do this to myself and to her? i used to think it was so i could take better care of us, but now i don't think so. i shouldn't be here without her. i shouldn't be anywhere, doing anything without her. it's just not right. she needs me and i'm not there with her, where i belong. i can't do this anymore... i'm going crazy not being with the one person i want to be with. she has made all the suffering in my life disappear. i have to get back to her at any cost... she's all that matters to me.