torontokillsme

i've been dating. everyone has been really nice. and i feel better than i've felt in years. no funny business yet. i've been sincere and honest with everyone and i'm going about this right. i met a woman, Melanie, that i really like. she's quite suicide girlish. a fair bit younger than me. but seems to dig me. i dig her. slow. that's my speed...
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Mmmmkay, I've been a bit MiA the last week or so in part cleaning myself up and in part playing real life with a couple of old friends and crush. Not much movement on the crush, she got back onto an exercise routine which is great.... Ill continue this later my coffee is here...

i need one more soundclouder to follow my feed (tech house dj mixes, a new one every few months) and i'll have 500 listeners worldwide, that's a milestone and would make my night.

anyone? anyone? anyone?

downloads are free.

it's ALL free!!

to everyone i know,

i love you.

not just today but everyday.

Enjoy Valentine's Day and celebrate love each and every day.

it truly is everything. :-).

if you use soundcloud and don't mind, please follow me, i'm:

http://soundcloud.com/therebellion

i only need 6 more people tp have 500 followers!!

i generally post tech house dj mixes every couple of months.

your support is appreciated. This is just a labour of love.

Thanks for listening :-)

so i saw the doc today and he recommended i start taking a medication for the depression i've been dealing with. the danger with the depression is that it could trigger serious self medicating and i can't have that, not while i'm holding life together quite well. he recommended a low dose of something called Cymbalta, an SSNRI, selective serotonin and norephiniprine reuptake inhibitor. sounds...
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an exact inventory of what i wore and carried with me today:

clothing:

socks: some mismatched sweat socks
underwear mountain equipment co-op merino wool long johns, black. baby its cold outside
tshirt: purple american apparel tri-blend
sweater; black american apparel fine knit, suitable for work
pants: naked and famous dark rinse selvedge denim jeans (i can pull these off at work)
shoes: palladium leather ankle...
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Wow I'm depressed. just gotta hang on to the faith that everything is temporary.

"... you gotta say what you say, don't let anybody get in your way..."

i have used drugs. sometimes. i used them largely functionally and rarely for pure intoxication. i used them in a self medicating fashion. "getting wasted" no longer holds appeal. I had over 20 years of that, and took it as far as it could go. the high for me is a shift in mood usually from mild to extreme boredom and/or depression to a comfortable...
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