torihoney

i'm keeping things together a little bit better these days. i am really trying to asses the way i feel about the life choices that lie on my plate, and i'm trying to see what benefits me best.

the hard part about it is that i feel like if you scratched my surface, saltwater will bubble up. i can't seem to stop seeping, it's making me feel weak.

i've been doing a lot of running to keep my happy place, and already i feel like it's whittling me down... and while it's nice to feel a sense of being in control of something right now, it's the entropy of everything else that weighs on me heavily. i'm stressed about work, there never seems to be enough time to be as good to/for people as there needs to be, and still hit all my targets.

i want to be inspiring...feel purposeful.

i don't want to do the dishes.

i feel bad i don't recycle enough.

i'm trying hard to show the people that genuinely seem to like me that i like them back, with interest.

solitude doesn't have to equal lonlieness, unless i let it.

for all the bravado, i am really scared this might be the end.