Jaws is back!
I, the awe-inspiring feline creature, have returned from my extended hiatus in Hell (otherwise known as the "Animal Hospital"). One week ago I was taken to this horrible place because I had this unsightly club foot. They poked and prodded and cut me open in two places in an attempt to drain whatever made my foot swell up to such horrendous proportions. The swelling gradually went down, and I was returned to my home Wednesday evening.
Saturday morning, I awoke with my foot larger than before! Aghast at the vet's lack of skills, I protested that I wouldn't go back to his smelly Hellhole. Tori, of course, listened and went to go take her final. BUT the father of the little human scooped me up and took me back to that awful place!
And I was left there until yesterday, when Tori discovered where I had gone and came to rescue me. The horrible demons put a cone on my head. A cone! I cannot walk without it running into things and it's more unsightly than the club foot! They also shaved my beautiful fur on my back leg and wrapped it in gauze, which I can't get off because of the ugly cone (it's completely ruining my good looks).
In any case, I am pleased to be home once again, though my litter box seems to have shrunk since I last saw it. It's been rather a nightmare figuring out how to get into the dome. Tori is taking good care of me, and finally seems to have mastered the art of sleeping like a cat. She is complaining about a "weight" on her chest, like a child or cat is sitting on her. I see no cat! I am the only cat allowed up on this biatch! If this invisible cat has the balls to show it's ugly face, I will cut it a new one!
Ahem. I digress. I'm off to take another nap with my comfy human slave. I hear that I get the bandage taken off tomorrow, though this requires another visit to Hell. Tori might have to see the human doctor again, too, since the invisible cat infection seems to have moved from the things called "sinus" to her lungs.
We get to do all of this after her last final tomorrow. She has been complaining about this test thing, and also the $500 vet bills. I say, what does money or school matter when my health is at stake? Of course I am the #1 priority!
I am Jaws the Magnificent!
P.S. Because humans are slow, I will clearly state what I expect: get well cards, crippled, but live mice (my huntress skills are not up to par yet, so at least one leg of the playtoy must be disabled), and chocolate. Why chocolate? You might ask. Doesn't chocolate kill cats? No! That is a rumor. Cats simply don't like chocolate. But Tori does, and I figure she deserves some minor praise for all the stress and effort. She had to sleep without me for three nights. I'm amazed she was able to sleep at all.
P.P.S. Doesn't she look sad without me?
I, the awe-inspiring feline creature, have returned from my extended hiatus in Hell (otherwise known as the "Animal Hospital"). One week ago I was taken to this horrible place because I had this unsightly club foot. They poked and prodded and cut me open in two places in an attempt to drain whatever made my foot swell up to such horrendous proportions. The swelling gradually went down, and I was returned to my home Wednesday evening.
Saturday morning, I awoke with my foot larger than before! Aghast at the vet's lack of skills, I protested that I wouldn't go back to his smelly Hellhole. Tori, of course, listened and went to go take her final. BUT the father of the little human scooped me up and took me back to that awful place!
And I was left there until yesterday, when Tori discovered where I had gone and came to rescue me. The horrible demons put a cone on my head. A cone! I cannot walk without it running into things and it's more unsightly than the club foot! They also shaved my beautiful fur on my back leg and wrapped it in gauze, which I can't get off because of the ugly cone (it's completely ruining my good looks).
In any case, I am pleased to be home once again, though my litter box seems to have shrunk since I last saw it. It's been rather a nightmare figuring out how to get into the dome. Tori is taking good care of me, and finally seems to have mastered the art of sleeping like a cat. She is complaining about a "weight" on her chest, like a child or cat is sitting on her. I see no cat! I am the only cat allowed up on this biatch! If this invisible cat has the balls to show it's ugly face, I will cut it a new one!
Ahem. I digress. I'm off to take another nap with my comfy human slave. I hear that I get the bandage taken off tomorrow, though this requires another visit to Hell. Tori might have to see the human doctor again, too, since the invisible cat infection seems to have moved from the things called "sinus" to her lungs.
We get to do all of this after her last final tomorrow. She has been complaining about this test thing, and also the $500 vet bills. I say, what does money or school matter when my health is at stake? Of course I am the #1 priority!
I am Jaws the Magnificent!
P.S. Because humans are slow, I will clearly state what I expect: get well cards, crippled, but live mice (my huntress skills are not up to par yet, so at least one leg of the playtoy must be disabled), and chocolate. Why chocolate? You might ask. Doesn't chocolate kill cats? No! That is a rumor. Cats simply don't like chocolate. But Tori does, and I figure she deserves some minor praise for all the stress and effort. She had to sleep without me for three nights. I'm amazed she was able to sleep at all.
P.P.S. Doesn't she look sad without me?
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
bedwelld:
Poor little guy had a rough go of it.
slackkey:
Jaws you will feel better and will soon forget about your shaved leg and cone. Then you will be able togo out and smell the fresh air again. Tori hope your infection is not too bad and you get better soon too. Love your new pics, you are looking hot and sexy