torai

You're right I think, we don't have a lot of time. I think we have the illusion of time because we think of how old the average person gets to be. The problem is, a lot of us waste our time. (myself included).

I don't feel that that any of us are pure, and unconditional love is best left up to God. This is not to say that you can't (had to edit that, cause I accidentally wrote can, which entirely changes the meaning of the sentance. oops.) find a good, or even great love, but from my own experiences, looking for happiness in another faulty human is (or has been for me) a recipe for failure. By all means though, finding a person that you can love and be loved by is by far one of the best things that can happen to us, and I spend a great deal of time and effort searching that out.

Ok, so I've probably opened the floodgates for a barrage of attacks on my person (if anyone wants to tell me I shouldn't bring that in here or that they think I am closed minded, please do so in my own journal, rather than muddying up Kanmis). I am just trying to portray what works for me, and this is not to say that everyone needs to agree with me, or that I hate everyone who doesn't. I don't hate anybody, and I believe in tolerance and love.

Anyways, for me, my faith is a means of not having to worry about all these things. (which is not to say that I am immune to it, in fact I worry pretty often) but this allows me to take a step back and look at the big picture and decide that, whatever happens to me in this life, I've got that unconditional love, and someone who is there to help, and all the time in the world. Now, this doesn't make me better than anyone else (in fact, I'm probably worse than a lot), and it isn't an excuse to do whatever the hell I want.

Now in the end, if it turns out that I'm wrong, well, then so be it, but at least I've tried to do what's right, and hopefully I've made someone elses life a little better in the process. Also I'm not saying that you or anyone else needs to agree with me, I'm just saying that this gets me by, makes me happy, and keeps me from going on a suicide killing spree

[Edited on Dec 15, 2004 6:47PM]

No answers to your questions here, I just like what you wrote. tks

Personally, I'm just tired of alcohol. It's not much fun to me anymore.

from what ive heard, college is easy compared to my high school...



my work load is pretty high, and this is after i dropped ap english this september because i didnt want to do the work. i cant fathom how bad it would have been with ap english

Yeah, always with the not being able to move fast enough in dreams. Stuck in slo-mo. Also, not being able to speak.

Colony is where it's at!

The Beach was retarded (especially the video game part. So dumb, I couldn't even believe what was happenning)

"I WILL NOT DIE... TODAY"
-Leo DeCrappio

Hey great chatting with you last night.

Hope you're having a good day ... I'm stuck studying for the first three exams of six I'll have this week.

Hope to run into you on Jan 8th.

if you gave it a listen....here's hoping i didn't hurt your ears too much

Here's to being happy and feeling content. I agree with you. It's not worth stressing over. Sure, sometimes loneliness can get you down, but it's not worth settling for just anyone who fills the void. I know that I won't be happy with someone who isn't right for me, it's just a matter of finding the right person.

Yeah, you make me feel happy too

change programs? how so?


sounds like an interesting experiment there, oh my!

I agree. Being nice is always good. It pays off. People do rememeber. Yours is an awesome philosophy, and I belive it will see you through. You're very sweet , don't ever lose that.
Later.

Wow Kanmi,

Thanks for the kind words. Hearing from you really makes my day.
I like having a good person to talk to and it's nice to be able to tell someone what's happening in your life and even vent about all the injustices of the world.

I don't want to just whine all the time, so here are some good things.

-I'm sick, but that means that I got to stay home from work today. I slept in, went to the walk-in clinic where everyone was friendly and helpful. (plus, I was in and out in 15 minutes, and I got the good drugs for cheap cause I got Blue cross).

-I also went to the CD plus and listened to a bunch of albums on a little Canadian label "Constellation" that the friendly people at the store suggested to me. I even bought one of the Discs by a band called "Do Make Say Think". They're pretty neat. All the bands on this label have a similar sound (kind of a pulsing instrumental movie soundtrackish thing) and I kind of dig it. (plus all the cardboard album covers are really neat and well designed.) Some of them have windows on the front, and they come with a bunch of cards inside that you can switch around. I like graphic design when it's used for the purposes of good, instead of evil.

-My friends art project that I helped him with seems to be working.

-I went to a friends house tonight and watched Dodgeball.

-someone said sweet things to me.



Hey! You wanna come to my staff christmas party? It's this saturday at Tops Steakhouse, with a little friendly pool to follow. I'll pick you up at 6:00

Hey look! It's Steve the Pirate!

It seems to always be my way, that I'm my (coolish) self around people I don't care much about, but an acute moron when I'm around somebody that really impresses me.

I'll be all right. I've just been coughing up parts of various organs, and feeling like my head is going to explode. It kind of culminated the other day, and I think I'm gatting better.

What didn't help was that we have been so busy with work, that I couldn't afford to take time off, plus, I have been helping my friend with an art project in the evenings, and things have not been going as planned. I will say nothing more, than it involves motion sensors, relays, a stobe light, a ceiling fan, and photography. It makes my head spin just thinking about it. It'll be really cool if it works. Fingers crossed.

Yes, I would say that both oceandaemon and bcguitar33 raise strong points.

When I started working as an electrician, I had to kiss my hands goodbye. My cutucles are constantly torn to shreds from reaching into my toolpouch for stuff. (to the point where they always hurt, and sometimes crack open and bleed) As well, I generally have about 6 or 7 significant lascerations on my hands at any given moment. (You cut yourself and just tape it up and keep going). One guy I worked with was reaching into a joist space in an old house and got a sliver (actually, more like a shard of wood) buried under his thumbnail all the way to the back. He just pulled it out with his linesmen pliers and kept going. I, on the other hand, nearly vomited.

Also, I would definitely agree that the demographic of this website is more openminded to females in the workplace than, say, at a local Hooters.

BTW, it takes a tough mother to nail through thrree of his fingers and keep going. Ouch!

[Edited on Dec 02, 2004 12:59AM]

I know exactly what you're going through.
I'm nearly at my breaking point with student loans ... while I'm getting harassed about paying back my earlier loans - even though I'm back in school now.
I hope everything works out for you.
*Hugs*

It's wierd running into people you used to be close too. I ran into a girl recentlly, who I'd been very close friends with, and suddenly found my old attraction to her magnified tenfold. We'd been great friends as kids, but nothing more. Seeing her again though, made me wish that she lived here in Cali.

On the other hand... I've run into a couple of women I'd once been intimate with. In both cases, I realized that I had still been harboring feelings for them, but once I met them again, it killed all of that. Both of them made me wonder why I had ever been attracted to them.

What's so wierd, is realizing how much time has changed your perception. And wondering if they had changed, or if it's just you.

Wow. That was boring. Sorry about that. I don't think I helped at all either. I tried though! Really I did.

A profile pic! I make people work for a real pic of me. If they don't look past my front page, they just assume I'm Dangermouse.

HEY...BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE i GOT A COMMENT... Maybe I'm too busy, maybe I don't spend enough time on my profile... nice to hear from someone.
Need a back rub. If that could help I know a great "massotherapeute" (I don't know how to say that in english... sorry) in montreal. She's amazing!