so mad and frustrated and sick and tired!!
i wonder why, does pain bring strength??
i wonder around and watch people, maybe i should just stop watching.
Maybe i should be completely me, say what i want, do what i want. Only those who truly are for me will stick around and accept me. i am sick and tired of faking and comforming to others ideals of what is the "normal" thing to do in a situation.
Shit..its for the science, i will let you know how it goes.
i wonder if i have the person strength to be so straight forward and truthful. I dont think so, but if i try, will it be a personal growth experince, or will it just cause out right shame and hurt for everyone around me. and myself for that matter.
i might as well though, shit what is there to lose. And if everyone was so honest and straight forward, i probably wouldnt be so pissed off right now.
i wonder why, does pain bring strength??
i wonder around and watch people, maybe i should just stop watching.
Maybe i should be completely me, say what i want, do what i want. Only those who truly are for me will stick around and accept me. i am sick and tired of faking and comforming to others ideals of what is the "normal" thing to do in a situation.
Shit..its for the science, i will let you know how it goes.
i wonder if i have the person strength to be so straight forward and truthful. I dont think so, but if i try, will it be a personal growth experince, or will it just cause out right shame and hurt for everyone around me. and myself for that matter.
i might as well though, shit what is there to lose. And if everyone was so honest and straight forward, i probably wouldnt be so pissed off right now.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
you should do whatever you think is best for youself. putting a mask on and not being yourself leads to issues. my journal talks about what ive been going through lately and you seem to have similar things going on. you've already read it but its worth another reread.
that being said, sometimes you have to be fake because its what you have to do. i ahte doing that but its the way life is...
It sounds like you are in classic pain version #456; raw, sick and tired of it all, where if you came across one more clerk at the Stop-N-Go who was rude you would torch the place.
If you were in a stronger head space right now the stuff that is making you spit fucking nails would just make you flip them the bird and go write a poem.
The only lasting solution is changing the way you react to assholes, liars and pricks. Protect yourself though. Cheers