7th Cuts
This is why I love this show. It is very rare that a television program can break my heart in such a way and yet still lift me up. I felt tonight like I was watching old friends during the recap of the last 99 episodes, and in a way I was. Last night was, in turns, terribly disappointing and heart-rendingly transcendent. So flat, but when it picked up, it slammed the hammer into your heart and brain and shimmered across your psyche like diamonds across glass. No changing what it did there, no altering it, without a useless amount of effort.
(To my friends that think all of this is "gay" or "not sports" I sat in Dodger Stadium last night and watched one of the most wonderfully impactful grand slams I've ever seen, but there are enough dudes that write about that sort of thing. I'm writing about this)
Goodbye, Miami/Chocolate. I imagine very few people are not shocked that you are gone now. You brought such a wonderfulness to the show this season, and it will be sorely missed. Do not go back to the bank. Your gift is too strong. Toodles, Mr. Cellophane. By the time I noticed you it was too late, because your last reel was running.
The other routine was way hotter, but the picture was for shit. I feel an ominous shifting towards the other two girls, so I put my beloved Jeanine first. Apart from having the most non-dancer-yet-dancer body on the show (read: tits) she continues to fucking bring it. End of 18 year old story.
Okay, so Melissa has been giving me hard ons all season (and apparently I like men because of that according to some delusional people...tell me, what dude has a body like that?) but I've sensed a growing distaste for her as of late. I sort of get it, but this routine pictured above, the one that reduced the entire judging panel (save for Ellen, thank goodness, because if she had truly lost it the whole building would have been engulfed in a typhoon of tears) was so deeply touching (for those that don't know me well, cancer has touched my family a few times now) that, as called by many, she and Ade were so safe it wasn't even funny. Oh, and Tyce has stepped it the fuck up.
This was actually the routine that made me really notice Jason, but dude is more dead to this competition than a zombie so fuck him. Kayla continues to impress, but she isn't my favorite dancer and that's what this is all about, so she goes here.
In closing (because I'm not calling shit from here on out, you crazy voters) I must say that Katie Holmes' number would've have been totally charming if A) she had actually sung and danced the number as promised, instead of lip-syncing that shit (seriously, like none of us know what that sounds/looks like?) and B) if she wasn't tainted by her marriage. Sad but true.
Also, all the past kids looked fucking sharp as tacks. Rawr.
Here we go, kids. Here we go.
This is why I love this show. It is very rare that a television program can break my heart in such a way and yet still lift me up. I felt tonight like I was watching old friends during the recap of the last 99 episodes, and in a way I was. Last night was, in turns, terribly disappointing and heart-rendingly transcendent. So flat, but when it picked up, it slammed the hammer into your heart and brain and shimmered across your psyche like diamonds across glass. No changing what it did there, no altering it, without a useless amount of effort.
(To my friends that think all of this is "gay" or "not sports" I sat in Dodger Stadium last night and watched one of the most wonderfully impactful grand slams I've ever seen, but there are enough dudes that write about that sort of thing. I'm writing about this)
Goodbye, Miami/Chocolate. I imagine very few people are not shocked that you are gone now. You brought such a wonderfulness to the show this season, and it will be sorely missed. Do not go back to the bank. Your gift is too strong. Toodles, Mr. Cellophane. By the time I noticed you it was too late, because your last reel was running.
The other routine was way hotter, but the picture was for shit. I feel an ominous shifting towards the other two girls, so I put my beloved Jeanine first. Apart from having the most non-dancer-yet-dancer body on the show (read: tits) she continues to fucking bring it. End of 18 year old story.
Okay, so Melissa has been giving me hard ons all season (and apparently I like men because of that according to some delusional people...tell me, what dude has a body like that?) but I've sensed a growing distaste for her as of late. I sort of get it, but this routine pictured above, the one that reduced the entire judging panel (save for Ellen, thank goodness, because if she had truly lost it the whole building would have been engulfed in a typhoon of tears) was so deeply touching (for those that don't know me well, cancer has touched my family a few times now) that, as called by many, she and Ade were so safe it wasn't even funny. Oh, and Tyce has stepped it the fuck up.
This was actually the routine that made me really notice Jason, but dude is more dead to this competition than a zombie so fuck him. Kayla continues to impress, but she isn't my favorite dancer and that's what this is all about, so she goes here.
In closing (because I'm not calling shit from here on out, you crazy voters) I must say that Katie Holmes' number would've have been totally charming if A) she had actually sung and danced the number as promised, instead of lip-syncing that shit (seriously, like none of us know what that sounds/looks like?) and B) if she wasn't tainted by her marriage. Sad but true.
Also, all the past kids looked fucking sharp as tacks. Rawr.
Here we go, kids. Here we go.
VIEW 25 of 94 COMMENTS
I realize that this is probably heresy, but it's how I feel.
YOu are pretty cute yourself too...Ive got a thing for furry ears...