1st Cuts
Before I launch into the revamped rankings, I must say this season is boasting some seriously talented folks. On both sides of the gender line there is some shit being broughten (if you do not know which terrible cheer leading film I referencing here, kindly check your 90s pop culture card back in) here, so if you've been hesitating picking up this show, now is the time to give it a shot.
I think maybe her name hurt her. I mean, who likes Paris as a name anymore? I did find her really talented and a little on the dirty/sexy side, so a loss in that column. Oh, and my wife's heart is broken. What can I say? In almost any other season he would've probably been fine. The kids are too good this year.

Caitlin stays at the top. The Bollywood theme is pretty hard to miss on. I'm calling it the anti-Ballroom. Ballroom you have to get lucky not to either fuck up or bore people. Bollywood you have to really fuck up to fuck it up. She got some major face time in the Thursday night routine too. Good sign. PS - Jason is potentially dangerously good. Oh, and millions of Indians are pissed over the simulated kiss.

Kayla made a big impression on me after barely remembering her. I also like the new choreographer she worked with. She was probably the most put together from top to bottom of the ladies (hair, outfit, crazy body) and her technique and holds were strong as fuck. Sadly, I hate her partner.

Melissa totally heard me and wore a tiny, traditional ballerina outfit tonight. Well done, madam. She was super impressive in her routine and coupled well with Ade. Lovely to watch, and quite the belcher!

Janette made that spunk work (again, doesn't sound quite right). Her lifts are in-fucking-sane. Great personality and extremely competent at her craft. I'm beginning to have my doubts about Brandon.

Jeanine and Phil were so damn fun to watch. They totally killed it. Tons of her personality showed through and I'm finding her as sexy as I can without feeling like a creepy old man (oh wait, too late). This, I think, is a couple to watch.

Ashley was in a Wade Robson routine and she did great work. What more do I need to say? Both the wife and I miss Kapona's original shock of hair.

I just find Karla sexy. Great face when she dances, strong body, and good footwork on the Tony Meredith piece. Her solo sort of lacked a bit, but who cares, it was enough. She also looks like she has fun when she's dancing which is key. Jonathan does nothing for me.

This might be the biggest drop in rankings ever for me. Asuka is great, don't get me wrong. Excellent legs in the routine, amazing face, white gloves are a heart melter, and it was a difficult routine, but...her composure as a bottom 3er was poor. No smiles, staring daggers at the judges...I'm all for a competitor's spirit (see: Kobe Bryant) but it left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Oh, and Vito needed to dance for his life and he did.

Okay, Randi did a great job and had great chemistry with my wife's new boyfriend Evan. They looked like they've been dancing together for years. She looked strong, especially those thighs, but something about her is still kinda meh. Sort of soccer mom-ish, I suppose. I dunno, maybe a routine in hot pants would help.
Before I launch into the revamped rankings, I must say this season is boasting some seriously talented folks. On both sides of the gender line there is some shit being broughten (if you do not know which terrible cheer leading film I referencing here, kindly check your 90s pop culture card back in) here, so if you've been hesitating picking up this show, now is the time to give it a shot.
I think maybe her name hurt her. I mean, who likes Paris as a name anymore? I did find her really talented and a little on the dirty/sexy side, so a loss in that column. Oh, and my wife's heart is broken. What can I say? In almost any other season he would've probably been fine. The kids are too good this year.

Caitlin stays at the top. The Bollywood theme is pretty hard to miss on. I'm calling it the anti-Ballroom. Ballroom you have to get lucky not to either fuck up or bore people. Bollywood you have to really fuck up to fuck it up. She got some major face time in the Thursday night routine too. Good sign. PS - Jason is potentially dangerously good. Oh, and millions of Indians are pissed over the simulated kiss.

Kayla made a big impression on me after barely remembering her. I also like the new choreographer she worked with. She was probably the most put together from top to bottom of the ladies (hair, outfit, crazy body) and her technique and holds were strong as fuck. Sadly, I hate her partner.

Melissa totally heard me and wore a tiny, traditional ballerina outfit tonight. Well done, madam. She was super impressive in her routine and coupled well with Ade. Lovely to watch, and quite the belcher!

Janette made that spunk work (again, doesn't sound quite right). Her lifts are in-fucking-sane. Great personality and extremely competent at her craft. I'm beginning to have my doubts about Brandon.

Jeanine and Phil were so damn fun to watch. They totally killed it. Tons of her personality showed through and I'm finding her as sexy as I can without feeling like a creepy old man (oh wait, too late). This, I think, is a couple to watch.

Ashley was in a Wade Robson routine and she did great work. What more do I need to say? Both the wife and I miss Kapona's original shock of hair.

I just find Karla sexy. Great face when she dances, strong body, and good footwork on the Tony Meredith piece. Her solo sort of lacked a bit, but who cares, it was enough. She also looks like she has fun when she's dancing which is key. Jonathan does nothing for me.

This might be the biggest drop in rankings ever for me. Asuka is great, don't get me wrong. Excellent legs in the routine, amazing face, white gloves are a heart melter, and it was a difficult routine, but...her composure as a bottom 3er was poor. No smiles, staring daggers at the judges...I'm all for a competitor's spirit (see: Kobe Bryant) but it left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Oh, and Vito needed to dance for his life and he did.

Okay, Randi did a great job and had great chemistry with my wife's new boyfriend Evan. They looked like they've been dancing together for years. She looked strong, especially those thighs, but something about her is still kinda meh. Sort of soccer mom-ish, I suppose. I dunno, maybe a routine in hot pants would help.
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xo
I told one of the guys at work who is a big fan of the show, and his jaw quite literally dropped to the floor (at least until I gave him the full story, haha).
I hope that you're well, good sir.