***Thanks to WelnTaod I couldnt leave well enough alone. I added on to thislike you give a shit.***
So the holiday season is coming up and I feel that the best gift someone could give besides a large sum of money or oral sex is music. So do you want my advice for albums you should buy for that special someone?? No?...too bad. Time for you to get cultured, Sucka!!
Cradle of Filth Damnation and Day
Easily the best album released this year. Try and tell me you cant go wrong with black metalcoupled with a full orchestrajust try.
Lionel Richie The Definitive Collection
Admittedly, Lionel has released a lot of crap. But out of all of his albums you can pick out at least 3 or 4 great tracks. This album helps to weed out all of the crap and brings you to the height of Lionel Richieism. This album is like the Stradivarius of Best ofs.
Journey The Essential Journey
Alright, so I made a mistake with that last comment about Lionel Richie The Definitive Collection being the Stradivarius of Best ofs. THIS IS! Seriouslyyou cant beat Journey with a fucking stickliterally. If you start out running at Journey with a stick Steve Perry will either woo you in to falling in love with him or he will make you break down on the floor and start crying like a toddlersimply using his voice. Journey is good on any given day. And I mean any. Remember, this album is called The ESSENTIAL Journeyand it contains 2 discs. Any band that has an essential collection of songs from their catalogue and it spans 2 CDs worth of material should be alright in anyones book.
Cat Stevens Teaser and the Firecat
This album is just one giant encouragement to grow a beard and get in touch with nature. How can you not like nature? OkayI dont like really like nature that much either. But its only encouragementits not like hes forceful about it or anything.
Pantera The Great Southern Trendkill
I know I started out all strong and then went pansy on you. So I present to youthe only band that can flagrantly flaunt rebel flags, marijuana insignia, and horribly bright neon colored Washburn guitars and still be bad mother fuckers simply because they just are. Maybe I just let them slide because Im from Texas. Who knows?
Buckethead Monsters and Robots
Who can out-guitar Dimebag Darryl? Welllots of people, Im sure. But who can out-guitar Dimebag Darryl after 50,000 shots of Jack Daniels? Buckethead, silly!! If you have means to slow this album down and listen to it at ultra low speeds you realize that hes actually hitting real notes. It sounds like its one big fucking blur of insanity. But the real insanity is that his solos are actually meticulously designed, flawless masterpieces. This album makes me want to move to Japan and just start crushing buildings and shit.
Buckethead Colma
Who knew that someone who was born in a coupe and raised in a cage could have such deep emotions? Keep all sharp objects and other dangerous things away from you while listening to this album. Ultra suggested track: For Mom (Buckethead has a Mom???)
A-Ha Hunting High and Low
Because sometimes when one song is so good that you buy the rest of the shitty album because that one song is just that fucking goodits worth it.
The Dwarves - are young and good looking
Their only good album. Buy it, treasure it and think of what could have been and know that it will never be that good again.
Esquivel! Space Age Bachelor Pad Music
This album made me wantnowaitit commanded me to.nowait.it forced me to go out and buy a swanky robe. Then it forced me to sit on my back porch and pretend that I had a swimming pool full of beautiful young women in it bouncing around beach balls and thinking lustful thoughts about me. I no longer listen to this albumbecause once its over real life is such a horribly huge let down.
Michael Jackson Thriller
Never mind what a creepy, creepycreeeepy man hes become. This album is worth its weight in gold. ActuallyI think if you owned this albums weight in goldit wouldnt have a high enough resale value to buy this album. Sothis album is worth its weight in gold when its tied to a 747. The combined weight of the two would roughly measure out to the amount that this album is worth in gold. I did the math. Trust me.
Zeke Flat Tracker
What?! What the hell? Howd that album get in here? Oh, yeahbecause it fucking rules!!
The Temptations Ultimate Collection
The Temptations seem to have the same syndrome that Lionel Richie has. They have a catalogue full of crap. But this album gets rid of all the crap for you. Ultra Suggested Track: Papa was a Rolling Stone. That track chronicles the relationship between Otis Williams and his father, Keith Richards. Seriously. It also has the best 43 minute Wah Peddle intro youll ever hear.
Dimmu Borgir Death Cult Armageddon
Not that they havent been consistently putting out great albums for the past 10 years. But this album over shadows them all.heh..shadowsBOO!
Bad Luck 13 Riot Extravaganza
This band is horrible. Reallyevery album.horrible. It just looks good in your CD collection. If youre in to spending money on shock value I would definitely suggest that you go see them live if you get the chance. I also strongly recommend that you stand as far away from the stage as you can, though. Unless you want to get blood and feces sprayed all over you.
KISS Destroyer
Do I even need to tell you why you should buy this album? You wanted the best. You got the best! The hottest band in the world! ring a bell??
KISS Alive!
Hottest band in the world! Remember?? This album is so good that Peter Frampton stole the titlehe just slapped the word Comes in front of it and called it his. I think thats Peter Framptons thing thoughand a lot of guys, for that matter. He thinks just because he slapped come on you that he now owns you..ohcome on. It was funny. Admit it. Like you could do better?
The Beatles Every Beatles Album EverEVER!
You should fucking know why!!!
The Cars Heartbeat City
The Cars nailed it once. Once and one time only. A completely solid album. Through and through. After this album Ric Ocasek just let his Adams apple take over and it drove The Cars straight in to the ground. HehDrove the Cars straight in to the groundIm a funny fucking guy. Have you ever noticed that about me?
Kool Moe Dee Kool Moe Dee
He put every other rapper that ever came from the same era as him to shame. Dirty, dirty shame. Take that L.L. Cool J!! Youll take it and youll like it!!
The Best of Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong (Its a real album, I assure you.)
Before Tim Armstrong ever even decided to take a teenage bride and start stinkin up the place his Dad, Louis Armstrong was kicking some serious ass with Ella Fitzgerald and they didnt sell out once. Well...not until they were both dead, at least. But I think its perfectly fine to sell out after youve died. Maybe Tim Armstrong should take that in to consideration and hurry up and die. If Louis Armstrong knew his son was strutting around with those ass-clowns from Good Charlotte he would rise from the dead and shove his trumpet up Tim Armstrongs ass. That would hurt, for sure, because Im positive that Tim Armstrong has an assortment of other things up his ass already.
Willie Nelson Stardust
You should watch the MOVIE The Read Headed Stranger and then listen to this album. By the end of it all youll easily forgive Willie Nelson for his latter day sins of associating with the likes of Toby Keith and Kid Rock.
AFI Every AFI albumEVER!
Okayif you need an explanation for this, alsoyou need to have the living shit slapped out of you by your own mother. After an AFI binge you feel as if youve drank the tears of unfathomable sadness and ingested the guts of the most horrific rage. AFI is definitely in the top 3 best bands ever. If youre one of those people who like to label AFI sell-outs after Sing the Sorrow youve obviously not been following them. If youve been a fan from the start you can see the obvious progression to Sing the Sorrow from album to album. So if you were surprised by Sing the Sorrow youre a damn fool. And if you dont like Sing the Sorrow youre missing out.
Guns N Roses Appetite for Destruction
When I first heard this album at the tender young age of 8 I thought I had stumbled across some huge fucking secret that all of my peers hadnt caught on to. And I was fucking right. When youre 8 your parents usually dont inspire much musical growth. Luckily for me, though my Mom always had and she blindly bought me this album not knowing that it would invoke inner-desires to move to the streets of L.A. and start slumming it up. I grew up on Billy Joel and the Beatles. This was quite a culture shock for me. And I fucking loved it.
Guns N Roses Use Your Illusion I & II
This wasnt a double album in real lifebut it was in my mind. To this day if you drive down any populated street in Canada blaring this album with the windows down it will turn your usually mild-mannered Canadian in to a crazed, rioting hooligan.
At the Drive-In Relationship of Command
After putting out one pretty shitty album they came out with Relationship of Command and it was a fucking masterpiece. That even furthers the mystery of what an anomaly this band has become, because after this album they were no more. And its not exactly new news to most that they went there separate ways and started their separate projects which only sound like ATDI knock-off bands making you long, even more, for them to get back together and start tearing shit up again.
The Refused The Shape of Punk to Come
The shape of punk to come? Boy, were they so unfortunately fucking wrong. Little did they know that the shape of punk to come would only leave even the most loyal punk rock enthusiast bitter and disgusted. But at least this was a flawless album. I think that theres a farm somewhere in Sweden where they make insanely talented musicians and then dump them in to recording studios. However, unfortunately The Refused has a relatively similar story to At the Drive-Ins.
I guess Im done for now. Ill probably post more of thesebecause that was actually a lot of fun
And now that Ive added on to it onceI think Im just gonna keep on adding on to ituntil my little hearts content.
P.S. I went to edit my last entry and I accidentally posted a new one. There seems to be no option to delete an entry. What the shit is up with that?
So the holiday season is coming up and I feel that the best gift someone could give besides a large sum of money or oral sex is music. So do you want my advice for albums you should buy for that special someone?? No?...too bad. Time for you to get cultured, Sucka!!
Cradle of Filth Damnation and Day
Easily the best album released this year. Try and tell me you cant go wrong with black metalcoupled with a full orchestrajust try.
Lionel Richie The Definitive Collection
Admittedly, Lionel has released a lot of crap. But out of all of his albums you can pick out at least 3 or 4 great tracks. This album helps to weed out all of the crap and brings you to the height of Lionel Richieism. This album is like the Stradivarius of Best ofs.
Journey The Essential Journey
Alright, so I made a mistake with that last comment about Lionel Richie The Definitive Collection being the Stradivarius of Best ofs. THIS IS! Seriouslyyou cant beat Journey with a fucking stickliterally. If you start out running at Journey with a stick Steve Perry will either woo you in to falling in love with him or he will make you break down on the floor and start crying like a toddlersimply using his voice. Journey is good on any given day. And I mean any. Remember, this album is called The ESSENTIAL Journeyand it contains 2 discs. Any band that has an essential collection of songs from their catalogue and it spans 2 CDs worth of material should be alright in anyones book.
Cat Stevens Teaser and the Firecat
This album is just one giant encouragement to grow a beard and get in touch with nature. How can you not like nature? OkayI dont like really like nature that much either. But its only encouragementits not like hes forceful about it or anything.
Pantera The Great Southern Trendkill
I know I started out all strong and then went pansy on you. So I present to youthe only band that can flagrantly flaunt rebel flags, marijuana insignia, and horribly bright neon colored Washburn guitars and still be bad mother fuckers simply because they just are. Maybe I just let them slide because Im from Texas. Who knows?
Buckethead Monsters and Robots
Who can out-guitar Dimebag Darryl? Welllots of people, Im sure. But who can out-guitar Dimebag Darryl after 50,000 shots of Jack Daniels? Buckethead, silly!! If you have means to slow this album down and listen to it at ultra low speeds you realize that hes actually hitting real notes. It sounds like its one big fucking blur of insanity. But the real insanity is that his solos are actually meticulously designed, flawless masterpieces. This album makes me want to move to Japan and just start crushing buildings and shit.
Buckethead Colma
Who knew that someone who was born in a coupe and raised in a cage could have such deep emotions? Keep all sharp objects and other dangerous things away from you while listening to this album. Ultra suggested track: For Mom (Buckethead has a Mom???)
A-Ha Hunting High and Low
Because sometimes when one song is so good that you buy the rest of the shitty album because that one song is just that fucking goodits worth it.
The Dwarves - are young and good looking
Their only good album. Buy it, treasure it and think of what could have been and know that it will never be that good again.
Esquivel! Space Age Bachelor Pad Music
This album made me wantnowaitit commanded me to.nowait.it forced me to go out and buy a swanky robe. Then it forced me to sit on my back porch and pretend that I had a swimming pool full of beautiful young women in it bouncing around beach balls and thinking lustful thoughts about me. I no longer listen to this albumbecause once its over real life is such a horribly huge let down.
Michael Jackson Thriller
Never mind what a creepy, creepycreeeepy man hes become. This album is worth its weight in gold. ActuallyI think if you owned this albums weight in goldit wouldnt have a high enough resale value to buy this album. Sothis album is worth its weight in gold when its tied to a 747. The combined weight of the two would roughly measure out to the amount that this album is worth in gold. I did the math. Trust me.
Zeke Flat Tracker
What?! What the hell? Howd that album get in here? Oh, yeahbecause it fucking rules!!
The Temptations Ultimate Collection
The Temptations seem to have the same syndrome that Lionel Richie has. They have a catalogue full of crap. But this album gets rid of all the crap for you. Ultra Suggested Track: Papa was a Rolling Stone. That track chronicles the relationship between Otis Williams and his father, Keith Richards. Seriously. It also has the best 43 minute Wah Peddle intro youll ever hear.
Dimmu Borgir Death Cult Armageddon
Not that they havent been consistently putting out great albums for the past 10 years. But this album over shadows them all.heh..shadowsBOO!
Bad Luck 13 Riot Extravaganza
This band is horrible. Reallyevery album.horrible. It just looks good in your CD collection. If youre in to spending money on shock value I would definitely suggest that you go see them live if you get the chance. I also strongly recommend that you stand as far away from the stage as you can, though. Unless you want to get blood and feces sprayed all over you.
KISS Destroyer
Do I even need to tell you why you should buy this album? You wanted the best. You got the best! The hottest band in the world! ring a bell??
KISS Alive!
Hottest band in the world! Remember?? This album is so good that Peter Frampton stole the titlehe just slapped the word Comes in front of it and called it his. I think thats Peter Framptons thing thoughand a lot of guys, for that matter. He thinks just because he slapped come on you that he now owns you..ohcome on. It was funny. Admit it. Like you could do better?
The Beatles Every Beatles Album EverEVER!
You should fucking know why!!!
The Cars Heartbeat City
The Cars nailed it once. Once and one time only. A completely solid album. Through and through. After this album Ric Ocasek just let his Adams apple take over and it drove The Cars straight in to the ground. HehDrove the Cars straight in to the groundIm a funny fucking guy. Have you ever noticed that about me?
Kool Moe Dee Kool Moe Dee
He put every other rapper that ever came from the same era as him to shame. Dirty, dirty shame. Take that L.L. Cool J!! Youll take it and youll like it!!
The Best of Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong (Its a real album, I assure you.)
Before Tim Armstrong ever even decided to take a teenage bride and start stinkin up the place his Dad, Louis Armstrong was kicking some serious ass with Ella Fitzgerald and they didnt sell out once. Well...not until they were both dead, at least. But I think its perfectly fine to sell out after youve died. Maybe Tim Armstrong should take that in to consideration and hurry up and die. If Louis Armstrong knew his son was strutting around with those ass-clowns from Good Charlotte he would rise from the dead and shove his trumpet up Tim Armstrongs ass. That would hurt, for sure, because Im positive that Tim Armstrong has an assortment of other things up his ass already.
Willie Nelson Stardust
You should watch the MOVIE The Read Headed Stranger and then listen to this album. By the end of it all youll easily forgive Willie Nelson for his latter day sins of associating with the likes of Toby Keith and Kid Rock.
AFI Every AFI albumEVER!
Okayif you need an explanation for this, alsoyou need to have the living shit slapped out of you by your own mother. After an AFI binge you feel as if youve drank the tears of unfathomable sadness and ingested the guts of the most horrific rage. AFI is definitely in the top 3 best bands ever. If youre one of those people who like to label AFI sell-outs after Sing the Sorrow youve obviously not been following them. If youve been a fan from the start you can see the obvious progression to Sing the Sorrow from album to album. So if you were surprised by Sing the Sorrow youre a damn fool. And if you dont like Sing the Sorrow youre missing out.
Guns N Roses Appetite for Destruction
When I first heard this album at the tender young age of 8 I thought I had stumbled across some huge fucking secret that all of my peers hadnt caught on to. And I was fucking right. When youre 8 your parents usually dont inspire much musical growth. Luckily for me, though my Mom always had and she blindly bought me this album not knowing that it would invoke inner-desires to move to the streets of L.A. and start slumming it up. I grew up on Billy Joel and the Beatles. This was quite a culture shock for me. And I fucking loved it.
Guns N Roses Use Your Illusion I & II
This wasnt a double album in real lifebut it was in my mind. To this day if you drive down any populated street in Canada blaring this album with the windows down it will turn your usually mild-mannered Canadian in to a crazed, rioting hooligan.
At the Drive-In Relationship of Command
After putting out one pretty shitty album they came out with Relationship of Command and it was a fucking masterpiece. That even furthers the mystery of what an anomaly this band has become, because after this album they were no more. And its not exactly new news to most that they went there separate ways and started their separate projects which only sound like ATDI knock-off bands making you long, even more, for them to get back together and start tearing shit up again.
The Refused The Shape of Punk to Come
The shape of punk to come? Boy, were they so unfortunately fucking wrong. Little did they know that the shape of punk to come would only leave even the most loyal punk rock enthusiast bitter and disgusted. But at least this was a flawless album. I think that theres a farm somewhere in Sweden where they make insanely talented musicians and then dump them in to recording studios. However, unfortunately The Refused has a relatively similar story to At the Drive-Ins.
I guess Im done for now. Ill probably post more of thesebecause that was actually a lot of fun
And now that Ive added on to it onceI think Im just gonna keep on adding on to ituntil my little hearts content.
P.S. I went to edit my last entry and I accidentally posted a new one. There seems to be no option to delete an entry. What the shit is up with that?
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
i aint playing wichoo neither
love,
fuji's roommate
MAMA