Warning: This is a bit of a venting blog, that not many of you will be able to empathize or sympathize with it at all, but I need to get it out in some way.
I feel a little jipped as far as the birth of my son. Don't get me wrong, he is everything I ever dreamed of and MORE. I love him with my whole heart and wouldn't trade him for anything in the world, but there are certain things that are supposed to happen when you have a baby, and I didn't get to experience all of them.
It doesn't help that I keep watching "Bringing Home Baby", "A Baby Story" and shows like that on t.v. My baby was early, I didn't get the whole "oh it could happen any day now", I got "holy crap I think something's wrong, we should go to the hospital!". I also got extremely painful contractions and bleeding, and people freaking out all around me, that finally ended in "Ok honey, we're going to have to take this baby now". I'll never forget those words, because in all the confusion, and the craziness, I didn't understand what the doctor meant. Of course, now I know, he meant they had to deliver him via c-section PRONTO.
I didn't get to see my baby for almost 12 hours after they delivered him, and when I did get to see him, he was covered in tubes and wires. I didn't even get to try to breastfeed until the next evening. I was in the hospital as a patient for 4 or 5 days, and not ONCE did Spencer stay in my room with me. He was in the Intensive Care Nursery the whole time. Also, he had to stay at the hospital longer than I did. You always see/hear how when you leave a hospital after having a baby, the nurse takes you out in a wheel chair, and they make sure the car seat is in correctly, etc. We walked out, jumped in the car, and went. Nobody even seemed to care that we were taking a baby lol.
Anyway, I digress...I go back to work in a few days. I'm not ready. I'd never go back if that were an option, but we need the money. It also remains undecided if we're going to have another baby eventually or not. In the begining we wanted at least 2 kids. I'm not sure if it's all we went through, or just the fact that I want to spoil the crap out of Spencer, but I'm not sure if I want more, or just to stop at the one. Time will tell.
EDITED TO ADD: I think all of this is why my best friend didn't call me when she headed to the hospital to have her baby. I didn't find out until it was all said and done, and I think it's because she thought I'd be jealous of her birth experience
Sorry this was all jumbled, but that's how my brain works.
Here's a pic to make up for it!
I feel a little jipped as far as the birth of my son. Don't get me wrong, he is everything I ever dreamed of and MORE. I love him with my whole heart and wouldn't trade him for anything in the world, but there are certain things that are supposed to happen when you have a baby, and I didn't get to experience all of them.
It doesn't help that I keep watching "Bringing Home Baby", "A Baby Story" and shows like that on t.v. My baby was early, I didn't get the whole "oh it could happen any day now", I got "holy crap I think something's wrong, we should go to the hospital!". I also got extremely painful contractions and bleeding, and people freaking out all around me, that finally ended in "Ok honey, we're going to have to take this baby now". I'll never forget those words, because in all the confusion, and the craziness, I didn't understand what the doctor meant. Of course, now I know, he meant they had to deliver him via c-section PRONTO.
I didn't get to see my baby for almost 12 hours after they delivered him, and when I did get to see him, he was covered in tubes and wires. I didn't even get to try to breastfeed until the next evening. I was in the hospital as a patient for 4 or 5 days, and not ONCE did Spencer stay in my room with me. He was in the Intensive Care Nursery the whole time. Also, he had to stay at the hospital longer than I did. You always see/hear how when you leave a hospital after having a baby, the nurse takes you out in a wheel chair, and they make sure the car seat is in correctly, etc. We walked out, jumped in the car, and went. Nobody even seemed to care that we were taking a baby lol.
Anyway, I digress...I go back to work in a few days. I'm not ready. I'd never go back if that were an option, but we need the money. It also remains undecided if we're going to have another baby eventually or not. In the begining we wanted at least 2 kids. I'm not sure if it's all we went through, or just the fact that I want to spoil the crap out of Spencer, but I'm not sure if I want more, or just to stop at the one. Time will tell.
EDITED TO ADD: I think all of this is why my best friend didn't call me when she headed to the hospital to have her baby. I didn't find out until it was all said and done, and I think it's because she thought I'd be jealous of her birth experience
Sorry this was all jumbled, but that's how my brain works.
Here's a pic to make up for it!
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
omeganightmare:
I'm home today 
elicit77:
You should check out the tree at the capital, its pretty awesome. There were carolers there and a Santa Claus for the kids. Overall it was pretty neat, I liked it because it was pretty family oriented. However I recommend getting there early to find parking because parking can be crazy downtown.