Uh-oh. I've spent my day watching movies, instead of unpacking as I should be doing. The reason I say, uh-oh, is that oftentimes, moving watching for me becomes introspection time. Being that the movies I've watched today are High Fidelity and Moulin Rouge, that's just even more likely.
So, instead of going on and on about my insights, I'll just ask a question that I am trying to answer for myself right now. You know the whole cliche "Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all" but what if that love was unrequited? Or, worse yet, never expressed at all?
For instance, I have been totally head over heels in love one time in my life. It was high school, she was, and still is, my embodiment of the perfect woman. However I never told her how I felt. We went to the same college after high school, and I still never said a word. We even went on a pseudo-date(a friend trip to a musical) once, where we had the following exchange:
Her: My ex called me today.
Me: Yeah, you going to get back with him?
Her: (while placing her hand on my arm) I'm not sure, I've got somebody else I'm holding out hope for.
Now may be the time for me to mention my absolute obliviousness to subtle flirtation. Or any flirtation for that matter. I'm told I do it constantly, but I don't realize it. And I'm told it happens to me, but I don't see it. But back to my rant.
Even after that, I never told her how I felt. A few weeks later, unrelated to me(though I didn't know that at the time), she moved out of her apartment in the middle of the night. I didn't speak to her again for 3 years.
Cut to: 3 years later. My mother had just passed away and I came back to Lawrence to talk to old friends. On a spur of the moment thing, I called her. She was happy to hear from me and then told me about her great new boyfriend, thus cutting off any thoughts I had of expressing my feelings for her. So, I then moved to NC, she and I lost touch.
Cut to: 2 years later. I email her to let her know I'm moving back to Lawrence. She replies saying "Wow, we're going to be moving back at the same time. Maybe it's fate that we're going to be there together again." Which even I saw as a bit of a sign. However, I move back to town and she never replies to my emails.
Cut to: 6 months later. She finally replies to an email and says she'd love to get together for coffee and asks me to call her to set it up. I call her and we talk for 3 hours about our shared mental illnesses, the past, our aspirations, and...her new boyfriend. I decide not to mention my undying love for her at this moment, but we make plans to get together for coffee the next night to catch up, as we are old friends. The next night, she calls and cancels citing an upset stomach, but with what I secretly hope was worries that she would never be able to go back to her man after seeing me again.(a boy can dream can't he?) I haven't talked to her since.
OK, so that was my rant. I'm debating emailing her right now as we speak actually. Or calling her cell phone to see if she wants to get together for that aborted coffee sometime soon, but I'm not sure I should. I mean, how many times can I let one girl break my heart?
So, instead of going on and on about my insights, I'll just ask a question that I am trying to answer for myself right now. You know the whole cliche "Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all" but what if that love was unrequited? Or, worse yet, never expressed at all?
For instance, I have been totally head over heels in love one time in my life. It was high school, she was, and still is, my embodiment of the perfect woman. However I never told her how I felt. We went to the same college after high school, and I still never said a word. We even went on a pseudo-date(a friend trip to a musical) once, where we had the following exchange:
Her: My ex called me today.
Me: Yeah, you going to get back with him?
Her: (while placing her hand on my arm) I'm not sure, I've got somebody else I'm holding out hope for.
Now may be the time for me to mention my absolute obliviousness to subtle flirtation. Or any flirtation for that matter. I'm told I do it constantly, but I don't realize it. And I'm told it happens to me, but I don't see it. But back to my rant.
Even after that, I never told her how I felt. A few weeks later, unrelated to me(though I didn't know that at the time), she moved out of her apartment in the middle of the night. I didn't speak to her again for 3 years.
Cut to: 3 years later. My mother had just passed away and I came back to Lawrence to talk to old friends. On a spur of the moment thing, I called her. She was happy to hear from me and then told me about her great new boyfriend, thus cutting off any thoughts I had of expressing my feelings for her. So, I then moved to NC, she and I lost touch.
Cut to: 2 years later. I email her to let her know I'm moving back to Lawrence. She replies saying "Wow, we're going to be moving back at the same time. Maybe it's fate that we're going to be there together again." Which even I saw as a bit of a sign. However, I move back to town and she never replies to my emails.
Cut to: 6 months later. She finally replies to an email and says she'd love to get together for coffee and asks me to call her to set it up. I call her and we talk for 3 hours about our shared mental illnesses, the past, our aspirations, and...her new boyfriend. I decide not to mention my undying love for her at this moment, but we make plans to get together for coffee the next night to catch up, as we are old friends. The next night, she calls and cancels citing an upset stomach, but with what I secretly hope was worries that she would never be able to go back to her man after seeing me again.(a boy can dream can't he?) I haven't talked to her since.
OK, so that was my rant. I'm debating emailing her right now as we speak actually. Or calling her cell phone to see if she wants to get together for that aborted coffee sometime soon, but I'm not sure I should. I mean, how many times can I let one girl break my heart?
Dear Red States...
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our
resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most
of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved
in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people
with higher morals then we lefties.
By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out,
Blue States