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tjwills00

Lawrence

Member Since 2004

Followers 67 Following 119

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Tuesday May 24, 2005

May 24, 2005
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So, it's Tuesday. That means that after work today I went and had myself a schooner of Widmer Wheat at my favorite dive bar, Louise's Downtown. You can't be $3.75 micro-schooners on Tuesdays and $1.75 domestic schooners on Thursdays. But that's enough of the shameless plugs. Well, almost. I also need to pimp out Henry T's who this week are having 2 for 1 burgers all day everyday and damn are they good burgers. OK, moving on.

I suffer from social anxiety. This may seem a bit like a non-sequiter, but it's actually my time at Louise's tonight that truly makes it come clear. My co-worker and I were discussing what it is about that bar that makes it our favorite after work watering hole. It finally dawned on me why I love it when I rememberd how much I hate meeting new people. Hate isn't really the word, though. I'm terrified of it. In social situations that require interaction with people I'm not familiar with, I feel an almost tangible sense of dread. This dread usually mamifests itself in me being quiet, but can, with copious amounts of alcohol, lead me to behave as an asshole. This would be one of the reasons that I don't have many friends.

The other reason is that I can't stand most people. Small minded people piss me off. Self centered people piss me off. And I'm never shy about actually letting people know this. Therefore, I'm not a real likeable guy, I guess. Why do I tell you this, you ask? Because I've decided that I'm not happy with my lack of life and want to find people to hang out with. You may see where the conundrum of this comes from when paired with the previous paragraphs. But that's the basic craziness of me, I guess.

Now, this is not the first time I've decided to try to hang out with new people. Many of you will remember the "Sluts for Christ" incident(and yes, I mentioned that just for the cheap laugh I'm guessing it got from Sophie). So you can see how my social anxiety coupled with my hatred of most small minded people leads to a pain in the ass for a guy wanting to make new friends. So, if anybody has any suggestions on ways to meet new people, or for that matter want to hang out sometime, let me know. If you are female and reading this, don't read that last line as me hitting on anybody though, because I'm so far from ready for a relationship that I'm actually just wanting new people to talk politics, hang out, and chill with. OK, now that I've made myself sound somewhat pathetic(ok, REALLY pathetic) I'm going to watch me some tv.

Later.
sophie:
oh no no no my sweet! you don't sound pathetic. you sound like me in my every other post!

i so FEEL you on the thing about louise's. the schooners are so cheap and delicious but the crowd is so intimidating. which is just hysterical because i never associate lawrence with anything intimidating, but it's true! so many cool kids go to thursday nights at louise's. i've tried it twice and my social anxiety actually walked me right out the door after five minutes one of those times. the other time i went really early and somehow avoided the crowd.

i would offer to accompany you, but tonight's my knitting night. right down the street from where you'll be, i'll be at aimee's coffee shop. i'd invite you, but it's an all girls thing. sometimes there's three of us and sometimes there's eight, but generally we turn into cackling hens. it's my one girl-night a week.

i hope you have an excellent time. you're awesome, don't forget it.
May 26, 2005

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