tinysharks

I Found A Solitary Camel

On Saturday, while at the Kick Ball
I was in the restroom and I found a pack of Camel Lights on a ledge above the sink
I looked inside and there was one cigarette left in the pack
At this point I had only been in the bar for maybe half an hour or so
I took the pack and put it in the pocket of my jacket
For over six hours I walked around with it in my pocket
Every few minutes or so I'd reach into my pocket for my camera or some money or my gum and I'd feel the pack
All night I walked around like that
Each time someone lit up in front of me I would stick my hand in my pocket and stop myself from pulling out that last cigarette in the pack
I woke up on Sunday and the pack was on top of my computer with that last cigarette still in there

I got into a discussion last week
A friend of mine was insisting that I could have one and I would be fine
Is there any way of knowing that for sure?
No
I could have one and be fine
Never smoke again
Or
I could have one and immediately run out and buy a pack
Start all over
Get dizzy when I smoke lying down and then stand up too fast
Get nauseous when I smoked too much
Immediately searched for a cigarette when I:
Woke up
Finished eating
Started driving
Walked out of a bar
Was on the toilet
Was in the middle of my first beer
Got upset
Got aggrevated
Couldn't sleep
Became self conscious
Stood around, waiting

And I don't think that I can go back to that
Though I'm not saying that I never will
Right now I would rather not