tinysharks

Fake Thanksgiving
As some of you may know
Was a huge success

That being said
Preparations for Fake Christmas have begun

I'm now in the market for a Christmas sweater
Which must have at least one (if not all) of the following:
Snowflakes
Reindeer
A tree
One or more Santas (preferably involved in some kind of sporting event and wearing sunglasses)
Mistletoe
Actual sleighbells attached
Seventh grade toilet humor: as in 'Jingle Balls'
And/or moderate to extensive work with a Bedazzler

Where does one find such a garment?