This is a venting post, I would like to ask you not to comment or ask me anything before reading everything. Please!
I already have another blogs about my tragerory, if you want check this:
I was about to make this blog a while ago but I ended up stalling (︶︹︺)
I ended up deleting my blog number 3 about health here, maybe some people here remember that I was getting better and thinking that everything would be fine again
Only once again I tried a new treatment that gave me a great illusion that I would continue to improve continuously;
I like to be honest with my friends and people I have affection for here, for a long time I forced myself to pretend that everything was ok always and that I'm always happy showing my beauty but it's not quite like that; I am very happy to know that I can be honest here and that there are people who care about me and stop to read everything I write... Thank you friends for all your empathy and affection
I even tried to post and interact more after I did my health update #2 but I couldn't
I know this is not a blog you usually post here, because I know that the things that go to the front page are usually positive and happy, I hope that someday I can post about my health and be happy enough to get there , but I know that until then I have a long way to go and I also know that I have to be patient with myself, I would like to be posting and interacting more here but I am spending all my energy and time taking care of my daughter and trying to take care of myself, still I'm not getting to do everything
I want you to be patient with me, chronic diseases are difficult to deal with, the improvement will not always be linear increasing, I can be better today and get worse again or start to feel a lot of pain out of nowhere, I want at least to feel safe to know that I can start to model and that it won't ruin everything out of nowhere and that I won't have to cancel or stop doing some work in half or get ready to take a picture and give up because I didn't have the strength to stand up anymore... I've been through this so many times and it made me so sad, I hope I don't have to go through this again
DESPERADE AND DEPRESSED FOR DAYS
It's very difficult to find a good doctor who cares and who is accessible, last month I came across a double increase in the value of my Doctor consultation and this left me devastated, I was very depressed, worried and very bad for 1 month or more...
Until now I had found a specialist doctor Called J.D. near my house, who was charging 400,00 money$ per consultation, I was finding the value acceptable, but the waiting time to consult with her was 5 months, not good :(
However I found out that she had changed hospitals and this delayed my next appointment; calling the new place I found out that she was charging 800,00 money$s at least I managed to make an appointment for the next month but I was worried about how to get this value every month or every three months which is the most common turnaround time for a new appointment, I had to cancel the appointment because the price.
So when the date was close I received a message saying that my appointment would be postponed in 1 and a half month approximately, so it took me a while to write another blog about health. So I had to wait 3 months until this new appointment
Finally the day of the appointment arrived and all this time I was discouraged for the appointment thinking that she would just look at my exam and ask me to put the IUD
That costs 6 thousand money$ for slide, application and anesthesia
APPOINTMENT DAY
She evaluated my exam and despite all the lesions that the scan found in the uterus and uterosacral ligament she said that until December it will not be necessary, for me to continue with the same medication gestrinone of 500,00 money$ and she prescribed me one more medicine (Spironolactone - that I still don't know the value) so that I can withstand the side effects of this hormone
This was the first time in 2 years that i came back from a doctor's appointment feeling not desperate but still not 100% happy
The medicine seems to be working this time even if very slowly and with annoying side effects that I mentioned in my previous blog, I hope I keep getting better and better and that this new medicine helps me with the side effects
I thought I had found a great doctor who would solve my problem and accompany me for many years, a famous doctor J.D who charges 800,00 money$ per consultation and who already had a 5-month waiting list with me to be seen.
In the second appointment with her I felt that she was in a hurry and did not say more than 10 minutes; without asking me questions, basically "take this medicine and go" I didn't feel safe about it
Gestrinone (the drug I mentioned in blog 2) made me symptom-free from January to June; I went back to having a lot of bleeding, pain, feeling bruised inside, a lot of discouragement and indisposition started having all the symptoms like before nothing and I sent a message to the doctor and she didn't give me proper attention:
( every day marked in red I had bleeding and I take medicine to not bleed or menstruate) I think this is a very poor service for someone who charges 800,00 money$… And her secretary even gave me the wrong dosage; and the compounding pharmacy (not posting here, to mot make a justprints blog) was ordering me to take my medicine in the previous dosage (which was registered the last time I asked) if I hadn't paid much attention they would have given me the wrong one and I would have continued to suffer I confess that a friend asked me if I felt that she treated me well and if she was attentive and nice (in the sense of really investigating my case) I wasn't sure about that, I'm still considering the possibility of looking for a second opinion, because I find her consultations so fast and I always write down everything to tell her because I also think she asks me few questions And i took the new dosage until july, and it didn't help, i kept feeling that hell; so I gave up on this doctor, because she was taking all my money and still not solving anything <br>After this total disappointment I continued to suffer a lot, talking about it with some people and receiving some recommendations from doctors but as I didn't have the money to go to all of them (but I would like to) I ended up being completely stagnant
Dr. J.D. exposed: <p style=""> <img class="photo photo-to-upload" data-key="Q0ArkgumRHuPRtCYHBgD" data-original="https://d1a0n9gptf7ayu.cloudfront.net/photos/5123b6026c819408f5e4fe4a9a74a6ce.jpg?v=1&k=default&t=1738368000&p=0&s=XPnbP_06VMlew_b8ckF_GsFL4I_qqlC5ruJHK_GmOco" id="fp-Q0ArkgumRHuPRtCYHBgD" src="https://d1a0n9gptf7ayu.cloudfront.net/cache/a4/4f/a44fcd8a554ac22303476507d171dcfd.jpg?v=1&k=default&t=1738368000&p=0&s=nYIEbT8UTdt4P9b2JtN9Zqg4jfcuAo05J4qFrYWXVg4"></p><p style=""> <img class="photo photo-to-upload" data-key="9ngUS8QayNQBaWJVvZ6Q" data-original="https://d1a0n9gptf7ayu.cloudfront.net/photos/5f3e085c903fd3c0050c623bd3695d18.jpg?v=1&k=default&t=1738368000&p=0&s=3nQJVk8ocpNWTmS_PKlFXe9i8uFv2GTixdg1GcuPhGc" id="fp-9ngUS8QayNQBaWJVvZ6Q" src="https://d1a0n9gptf7ayu.cloudfront.net/cache/da/cb/dacbb4993d9d96209d842d75f11c8377.jpg?v=1&k=default&t=1738368000&p=0&s=X5c3ubh99plu5d58Mez3rm60IFpp-hZOj6Q_GbWRA34"> </p><p style=""> </p>
So I decide gave up Doctor J.D. …
Until one day I went to Aika's school to justify the reason for the above-average absences, of not being able to accompany her so much in her homework and the reasons for her being late, it's because I was trying to make myself better as a mother but for because of the physical conditions this was not enough
By coincidence I discovered that the vice principal of the Aika school (who saw me on the day) also had endometriosis, and her focus is also on the base of the spine and that her symptoms were very similar to mine
Then she said that I understood exactly what I'm going through, she said it was in several doctors like me but that one day one of them said to her "how did they let you stay like this? we're going to do surgery on you" and then she said that the procedure returned a lot of quality of life for her, but not 100% but it helped a lot, and that she would give me contact M.F doctor
And so I decided that this would be the first doctor I would go to as soon as I could, the only problem is that he was from São Paulo (+ a thousand kilometers from where I live)
I talked to some close friends and the conditions were favorable to help me go there and I am so grateful with this especially (I thought about writing a blog and doing crowdfunding here at SG but I had no head for it, I end up spending a lot of energy and time to make these blogs , I'm grateful that I know that some friends here care and like me to share this painful experience)
so I had the cost of the doctor M.F. consultation (which was even higher than the previous doctor 😢) I had the ticket and accommodation and a little money for food when I arrived at his appointment, he was direct when he said "There is no medicine that will make you feel better, all these doctors you went to in the last 3 years dragged your situation, you only got worse and worse in that time, your case It's surgical, there's no other way for you!" <p style=""> <img class="photo photo-to-upload" data-key="V5rkS86tT6KcKKKqnVUk" data-original="https://d1a0n9gptf7ayu.cloudfront.net/photos/deafbf406d508994e7a2b3f4d3303aaa.jpg?v=1&k=default&t=1738368000&p=0&s=3ip9G0R-wbrVLp7vr88jPI8fNze5rrDS7JHUlqYAqqU" id="fp-V5rkS86tT6KcKKKqnVUk" src="https://d1a0n9gptf7ayu.cloudfront.net/cache/91/7b/917bcd465e7228476327f47949b6cd91.jpg?v=1&k=default&t=1738368000&p=0&s=9KakZPMHOs6wiumvSN_VzzvYMXpn9gq72ng_RRY2ZmA"> </p> The doctor M.F. explained to me better than anyone else that when I was trying to understand what was happening, they just answered me "why do you feel pain". Basically he said that endometrial tissue has grown outside the uterus and this tissue MENSTRATEs to the wrong place, this causes an inflammatory condition, blood blisters trapped inside me, LOTS of PAIN, lots of bleeding, lots of clots and outbreaks of the disease spread all over the place.
The doctor criticized the use of gestrinone and indicated dosage and then suspended it
He asked me for an MRI and more blood tests before referring me to surgery (as I didn't have the money for these tests during the trip, I preferred to do it calmly close to home)at the moment the doctor recommended me to take dienogest but as i said i already had this treatment and i still had a lot of problems he recommended i take desogestrel together, until the day of the surgery he said it would help me a little
another photo of hospital clothes for my collection :P
I know that many women are in their third or even fifth surgery for endometriosis; I know I will never be 100% okay with this but I was less scared because finally someone said something that was obvious, my fear was to leave with another contraceptive prescription as a palliative measure
As I still had a few days to travel, I took the opportunity to take some time for myself to go out a little, do the things I like, see beautiful things; healthy walks trying to respect my body and my limits; Sometimes I feel really bad in the following days and it hurts me a lot but it makes me feel good mentally, I will write a little about the other things I did soon ♥️<br>
HOW I FEELING RIGHT NOW: <br>Still in a moment of recollection and enormous introspection AND I HATE IT My cycles are completely long and I'm either totally fine or totally bad, there's no middle groundI still have days when I can't do anything because of the pain and I feel very sensitive and I have a lot of headaches too but at least it's not every day of the month I also need to go back to the nutritionist, go back to taking supplements, I had 2 years of continuous blood loss and poor diet because I couldn't do anything, I feel like I need to recover that, I'm thinking of looking for a nutritionist to recommend an anti-inflammatory diet for endometriosis I also want to go back to taking the natural remedies I mentioned in my previous blog I also felt that they were helping me The doctor I abandoned also recommended me physical exercises, so I'm still getting used to the simple household chores and this is still a big challenge for me, now I wish I could pay someone to help me with the housework and someone else to help me with make lunchboxes and store in the fridge for the week; I confess that even not sick I BELIEVE any single mother deserves this help, 8D Still very discouraged, less pain than before, taking less pain medication; before I used to take so many that I was scared with the amount, still with low self esteem but far from being enough energy and self esteem to make a new set I feel like I still have a long way to go before considering that everything is as before, maybe never stay I also need to go to an allergist (my blood test indicated alergy and I still don't know what), a dermatologist/tricologist because of the hair loss and acne that I think is a side effect of gestrinone, and routine gynecological appointments
So this is the situation. I need a lot of things but fisrt to do the exams and surgery and I need your help to make this happen
I also need to return to São Paulo to the doctor within 60 days (I have the right to return and present the results of the exams without having to pay another consultation for this) I have yet to calculate how much I need for the surgery but from what I research, it can be calculated up to 60, depending on what the doctor requests, hospitalization, anesthesia, and among other factors it can cost from 10 to 60 thousand money$ I'm also in crisis with the fact that after the surgery I need someone to help me recover, apart from my daughter (who is a child and cannot do it) i can't think of anyone who would take care of me with love for 30 days
My heartache fell now, I realized that I could have died with the amount of blood that I lost, but I didn't have the money to seek help so I don't blame myself for not going to the doctor before I wanted to ask for help from all of you, so that I can continue living and taking care of my health and my daughter Aika ________________________________________________________________________________________ Despite everything I am grateful that I managed to take care of myself substantially so far and that I have good people who care about me; and thank you so much for following my recovery journey, it helps me a lot I also had a lot of anxiety to answer here, because I pretended for so long that everything was fine to earn keep doing my job and to take care of my daughter and hope for a future that it gave me a burnout even talking to everyone who was always nice to me So i'm sorry about that i'm trying to work it out What they ask me most lately is how they can help me: the only way someone can help me now is by supporting my work. you can still support me by any way of <a href="http://Allmylinks.com/tintanankin" style="">Allmylinks</a> or you can support me as a model here on the site ❣╰(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)╯ Thank u all for read this I want to give special thanks for friends: specially for @FOXFIRE76 <3 @OJTHEVIKING @NAPPYBOYRADIO @PROSPERO1 @TEEVALLEY @DTIMM87 @SULLIVAN1971 @BARONPHARTMAN @DEPUTYO8 @CRAZYOVERLORD @ZMUTANT @SCOTTZILLA67 @JUHCONNIE @SYNESTR @MACHETEFLY @ACARTY @JIMBO256 @HAMIDKAMARA @BROKENAGAIN @AKUBUKAI @JAYK74 @LZ55 @WANDERER667 @JMOSHER7727 @SAVAGEBEAST91 @ELDAMON @WHIPRUSH3 @SEVILLUS @FATTYRANDY @FLOODEK @DENNOVONDIESEL @LILNOMAR33 @KMINK @INSPECTURASS @ROWANSHEN @NOCUT666 @EMERALDA @ASTRONAUT420 @SHEASHANNARA @CETT @LESTALT19 @DARKOEDD @TOOTHLESSS @STUBBS27 @PISCES @GEEKLY @RHIANGT @MARTYN @WEEDFARMER @PITTY5752 @KINJO44 @CHEFFERS @AMANTESEXY28 @DADDYWARBUCKS2 @ZEKEZIEKENSTEIN @_ARC_ @PECPEC @POOGAN @MARQUESEDER @RIMBRIANI @CDKFROG @KRUDMONK @DANY_XSTYLE @DRAGONER36 @KPITAOKVERNA @THECHRISTOMETH @IANBIEDERMAN99 @FREAKME @FERKIXLLL @CHERRYANY @EMUNZ @RHIANGT @NITRAM65 @TIMMYBOY1973 @KAAZI187 @GONZO_SP @THEDORKKNIGHT @CAPTAINMCBARKY @SIMOTHUNDER @ARTHEMIS @ATHANIEL @GENTJANOPHILIC @ROCKYAPPLE @JUNIORPLS @BOKELSENJUNG @YOURAVGPSYCH @THESECRETIS @MRHAND39 @RAGMIG @seducente @luckyjoules17 @overalls @kagenuit and @YUUH
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
tintanankin:
@big_n3rd thank u
tintanankin:
@foxfire76 I've given up on myself several times actually, it's very difficult, I'm happy that even though I'm far away there are people who care <3 thank you