tinheart

today has been a rather trying day. with valentine's day coming up it's hard not to focus on the fact that i'm single for the first time in 4 years. though how i got to this point is a long and drawn out affair that i'm not getting into right now. going our separate ways has been extremely difficult. for someone that was single for so long, you'd think i'd be more used to it. but instead i find myself constantly wanting to know what's going on with her, how her day was, what she's been up to. i want to make all the little jokes we used to have together, all the niceties and cutesie sayings. but of course after that, i just feel angry at the way it all ended. and i think it's that anger that keeps me from even trying to contact her. no matter what, there are no rights and wrongs. no one else to blame but ourselves. you were selfish, insecure, and paranoid. i was emotionally cold, uncommunicative, and unbending. these are the things that brought us to this. this is who we are. and until that changes, it will taint every relationship we ever have. i'm glad you're having so much fun without my dead weight holding you back.