tinheart

i may get a bit whiny here, so please excuse me for a moment. ( not like anyone reads these anyway, too many boobs to distract everyone anyway. ) my mood seems to be evening out a little after the stress of the last few weeks. i'm not moping around quite as often and i can see a bit more of the joys in life again. though it stills seems a little empty sometimes. like somethings missing. i still have to constantly stop myself from picking up things and thinking of it as something she'd like. that's going to take a while. i treasure the little gifts she gave. little pieces that remind me of her. i've thought about getting rid of some things, but i realize that's pointless. it won't make it any easier. it's going to hurt no matter what. those things just remind me of the good things that were between us, not the end of it. besides, it's actually cold enough at night that i can wear my favorite scarf. and i finally put that little bird on the lapel of my jacket. i love that little bird. and now i'm going to show it off proudly when anyone ever ask about it. "a friend gave it to me." that's all i have to say.
in the end, she was a very important part and time in my life. she always will be. maybe in the future we can take the left over pieces of what we had and recycle them into something new. with everything between us, it's possible. but it may be a while from now. for now, it's time to focus on building my own life. something i've neglected for a while now, mainly due to a lack of confidence, which seems to have always been my downfall. it's merely one of the many facets of myself that need work over time. because time is something i seem to have more of these days. best to put it to use.