I forgot to tell you guys about some of the incredibly BIZARRE things that I saw on my journey through Chicago and the surrounding area . Apparently advertisers and sign makers out there are all on some sort of hallucinogenic substance , 'cause there was some damn strange signs along the road . I saw a "DAIRY QUEEN & FISH " sign...that sounds like an odd mixture . I saw a carwash whose logo was an elephant riding in a flying saucer whilst wielding a glowing magic wand...WTF????? But my absolute favorite was a sign that read " SEAFOOD AND AQUATIC PARK " . It just makes me think that if the headlining act doesn't jump through the flaming hoop on cue , he winds up as somebody's lunch . " Ooooh , mommy this Shamu casserole is yummy!!!! " 
I wanted to stop in for a dolphin burger , but never quite made it . I know what you're saying " How can you WANT to eat a cute playful dolphin????" Well , I got a theory on that . I think dolphins would eat us , and HAVE in the past , when the opportunity arose . Do you honestly believe that sharks are dumb enough to attack swimmers along crowded beaches when they know that we will retaliate by hunting down and killing EVERY shark within a ten to fifteen mile radius???? Helll no!!!! It's DOLPHINS . They look friendly enough that they can just swim up to your average human , who has no doubt seen at least one episode of the heartwarming family show Flipper , and just drag them under and eat them without a fight . If anybody witnesses the terrible attack , dolphins know that they look enough like sharks that their predatory cousins will be blamed for the crime . Dolphins ARE the second most intelligent creature on the planet , you know . First if you compare them to people like President Bush . They have this scam all planned out . They put on a friendly face when the cameras are rolling and do their little tricks and squeak and click out friendly conversation , but out there...in the ocean , it's a WHOLE different story . I'm warning everybody out there . It's high time we declared war on the dolphins , before they rise up and take over our planet . Apes I could live with , but "Planet Of The Dolphins" ????? That's just creepy .
I wanted to stop in for a dolphin burger , but never quite made it . I know what you're saying " How can you WANT to eat a cute playful dolphin????" Well , I got a theory on that . I think dolphins would eat us , and HAVE in the past , when the opportunity arose . Do you honestly believe that sharks are dumb enough to attack swimmers along crowded beaches when they know that we will retaliate by hunting down and killing EVERY shark within a ten to fifteen mile radius???? Helll no!!!! It's DOLPHINS . They look friendly enough that they can just swim up to your average human , who has no doubt seen at least one episode of the heartwarming family show Flipper , and just drag them under and eat them without a fight . If anybody witnesses the terrible attack , dolphins know that they look enough like sharks that their predatory cousins will be blamed for the crime . Dolphins ARE the second most intelligent creature on the planet , you know . First if you compare them to people like President Bush . They have this scam all planned out . They put on a friendly face when the cameras are rolling and do their little tricks and squeak and click out friendly conversation , but out there...in the ocean , it's a WHOLE different story . I'm warning everybody out there . It's high time we declared war on the dolphins , before they rise up and take over our planet . Apes I could live with , but "Planet Of The Dolphins" ????? That's just creepy .
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
vrulovwrath:
It never does. Only in movies.
noir:
Thank you for the comment on my set. It really made my day!