So I'm on my way downtown to meet one of my friend's for happy hour . All of a sudden I'm sitting in a friggin' traffic jam for about a half hour . Why ? Because there was a car accident on the parkway . There's ALWAYS an accident on the damn parkway . Seriously , EVERY day . It's only a matter of "when" and "where" .
Now just judging by past experience , it's usually some jackass talking on a cell phone or just generally not paying attention to what they're doing . SO...here's a theory for you . If there's an accident every day for the span of the next few years , and it's usually some retard involved in said accident , wouldn't it stand to reason that eventually all of the idiots would either be killed or rendered unable to drive ? It's like vehicular natural selection . The good drivers survive and the dipshits are weeded out . In fact , I say we speed the process up . We take a week and remove all speed limits , traffic laws , and advertise free cell phones and S.U.V. maintenance . In the meantime , WE , the good drivers , are alerted to this and advised to stay home . All of these fucktards would clog the parkway at once and destroy themselves and all the other idiots in one massive ten thousand car pile up . Then we'd get a fleet of bulldozers to push the wreckage into the river and the parkway is clear for the rest of us . Consequently in the next few years we may actually be able to drive in peace , and not have to worry about all of the morons out there .
Vote TinfoilHalo for mayor , and you will have access to this type of creative problem solving . I want to work for YOU .
Now just judging by past experience , it's usually some jackass talking on a cell phone or just generally not paying attention to what they're doing . SO...here's a theory for you . If there's an accident every day for the span of the next few years , and it's usually some retard involved in said accident , wouldn't it stand to reason that eventually all of the idiots would either be killed or rendered unable to drive ? It's like vehicular natural selection . The good drivers survive and the dipshits are weeded out . In fact , I say we speed the process up . We take a week and remove all speed limits , traffic laws , and advertise free cell phones and S.U.V. maintenance . In the meantime , WE , the good drivers , are alerted to this and advised to stay home . All of these fucktards would clog the parkway at once and destroy themselves and all the other idiots in one massive ten thousand car pile up . Then we'd get a fleet of bulldozers to push the wreckage into the river and the parkway is clear for the rest of us . Consequently in the next few years we may actually be able to drive in peace , and not have to worry about all of the morons out there .
Vote TinfoilHalo for mayor , and you will have access to this type of creative problem solving . I want to work for YOU .
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
mercurius_viv:
i'd vote for you, hands down.
hastwothumbs:
But what will you do for the average Joe like me who LIKES people dying in car accidents?