I recently witnessed a grave injustice my friends . A recent commercial has sullied the name of one of the truly great leaders of our time . I for one will not merely sit by quietly and let this terrible crime go unchecked .
Yesterday I saw a commercial for what I think was Pepto Bismol . I was so incensed by the travesty that was unfolding before me that I missed what the product in fact was . These miscreants actually had the nerve to use Godzilla as a visual representation of diarrhea!!!! GODZILLA!!!! I'm sorry , but I feel that maybe a little respect should be payed to the KING of the monsters .
Sure Godzilla has had a rather misunderstood career during his reign as king , but ALL great leaders do things that are sometimes considered questionable . Yes , he has destroyed Tokyo on numerous occasions , caused countless billions of dollars in property damage , and been responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people , but he's done all of this out of LOVE . Love for destruction and fighting other giant monsters is just as valid as the love for a man or a woman , I say . Let's face it people , you don't become KING of the monsters by knitting scarves and baking cookies . If we blame anybody for these crimes against humanity we should blame Godzilla's high schoool guidance counsellor . When you tell an impressionable young giant radioactive lizard that he's destined to be king of the freakin' monsters what do you expect him to do???? And what about all of the GOOD things that he's done???? He's saved the Earth from ALIEN INVASION a few times . How 'bout that???? Or the fact that one of those times that he levelled Tokyo he was fighting a SMOG MONSTER . Nobody likes smog , do they???? Plus he's always trying to keep "The Man" from repressing "The Little Guy" even if the little guy is thirty stories tall . If you ask me , Godzilla is a HERO .
It saddens me to see such a great and dangerous leader made fun of by a bunch of small minded fools . You don't see anybody using the Queen of England's face to portray diarreah , do you ? NO . Sure maybe some other countries may equate G.W. as a big pile of shit , but THAT is okay because we , as Americans , DON'T CARE . Hell , most of us agree .
The most ironic part of this is that it wasn't even the Japanese people who have been trampled under his enormous green feet over the years who perpetrated this act of disrespect . It was Americans!!!! Godzilla only attacked us ONCE , and it was only a half-hearted attack at best . Not nearly enough to provoke using the gigantic fire breathing reptile as a visual representation of liquified poop . Personally , I think that the only reason he attacked New York City in the first place was to kill Matthew Broderick , and can any of us honestly say that we haven't thought about doing that ourselves a time or two ? He hasn't done anything good since Ferris Bueller . So what do the Japanese people think about all of this???? When I recently asked one of my Japanese friends what HE thought of this slap in the face to the not-so-jolly green giant , he said " The Japanese people all know that if we were EVER to disrespect Godzilla he would seek us out and destroy us with his fiery atomic breath . Besides...don't blame ME for all of the destruction that he has wrought over the years , I voted for Rodan . " I think that speaks for itself .
So to sum up , I think that it's safe to say that if you happen to live anywhere near any Peto Bismol factories ( Or Matthew Broderick) , you might want to consider moving far FAR away from that particular locale . 'Cause big scaly green retribution is coming . Hail to the King , baby!!!!
P.S. Just as an add-on to my little warning up there...he's in the states for theceremony
Yesterday I saw a commercial for what I think was Pepto Bismol . I was so incensed by the travesty that was unfolding before me that I missed what the product in fact was . These miscreants actually had the nerve to use Godzilla as a visual representation of diarrhea!!!! GODZILLA!!!! I'm sorry , but I feel that maybe a little respect should be payed to the KING of the monsters .
Sure Godzilla has had a rather misunderstood career during his reign as king , but ALL great leaders do things that are sometimes considered questionable . Yes , he has destroyed Tokyo on numerous occasions , caused countless billions of dollars in property damage , and been responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people , but he's done all of this out of LOVE . Love for destruction and fighting other giant monsters is just as valid as the love for a man or a woman , I say . Let's face it people , you don't become KING of the monsters by knitting scarves and baking cookies . If we blame anybody for these crimes against humanity we should blame Godzilla's high schoool guidance counsellor . When you tell an impressionable young giant radioactive lizard that he's destined to be king of the freakin' monsters what do you expect him to do???? And what about all of the GOOD things that he's done???? He's saved the Earth from ALIEN INVASION a few times . How 'bout that???? Or the fact that one of those times that he levelled Tokyo he was fighting a SMOG MONSTER . Nobody likes smog , do they???? Plus he's always trying to keep "The Man" from repressing "The Little Guy" even if the little guy is thirty stories tall . If you ask me , Godzilla is a HERO .
It saddens me to see such a great and dangerous leader made fun of by a bunch of small minded fools . You don't see anybody using the Queen of England's face to portray diarreah , do you ? NO . Sure maybe some other countries may equate G.W. as a big pile of shit , but THAT is okay because we , as Americans , DON'T CARE . Hell , most of us agree .
The most ironic part of this is that it wasn't even the Japanese people who have been trampled under his enormous green feet over the years who perpetrated this act of disrespect . It was Americans!!!! Godzilla only attacked us ONCE , and it was only a half-hearted attack at best . Not nearly enough to provoke using the gigantic fire breathing reptile as a visual representation of liquified poop . Personally , I think that the only reason he attacked New York City in the first place was to kill Matthew Broderick , and can any of us honestly say that we haven't thought about doing that ourselves a time or two ? He hasn't done anything good since Ferris Bueller . So what do the Japanese people think about all of this???? When I recently asked one of my Japanese friends what HE thought of this slap in the face to the not-so-jolly green giant , he said " The Japanese people all know that if we were EVER to disrespect Godzilla he would seek us out and destroy us with his fiery atomic breath . Besides...don't blame ME for all of the destruction that he has wrought over the years , I voted for Rodan . " I think that speaks for itself .
So to sum up , I think that it's safe to say that if you happen to live anywhere near any Peto Bismol factories ( Or Matthew Broderick) , you might want to consider moving far FAR away from that particular locale . 'Cause big scaly green retribution is coming . Hail to the King , baby!!!!
P.S. Just as an add-on to my little warning up there...he's in the states for theceremony
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
course you can come along for the ride to michigan, as long as you don't mind my singing real loud and dancing in my seat.
-me
Shenanigans, I say!