I saw the most AMAZING video in the world the other day . Coincidentally it was on The World's Most Amazing Videos . Go figure . Normally these shows are such incredible let-downs . Some fucktard gets too close to an animal cage and gets a piece of his ass bitten off...yawn . Some air show ends in fiery disaster...again . Some idiot criminal gets into a high speed chase and eventually flips his escape car about a million times..whoopdie fucking doo . However , THIS video was TRULY amazing . Allow me to set the scene...
A huge 6 ton whale carcass washes up on a beach in Oregon . How do you get rid of something like that? Push it back into the ocean? Dig a hole and bury it in the sand? Build a Starbucks in front of it and hope that nobody notices the smell? Well , my friends , these brilliant people came up with the by God BEST FUCKING PLAN EVER . Blow it to bits with a huge ammount of high explosives!!!! WHY , you may ask ? I asked myself the same question , then I realized that I didn't even care . THAT was an ingenius idea . Who gives a rat's ass why ?
So the city officials proceed to PACK this giant dead sea creature with TNT . They don't know exactly how much to use , so they just use an EXCESSIVE ammount of the stuff . Their "official" plan was to "Blow the carcass back out to sea and let the sea gulls feed on the leftovers" . So they have old Moby Dick all set to go into orbit and they're filming it for the 6 O'clock news . They do a countdown . 3...2...1...KABLAAAAM!!!!!! This fucking whale just DISAPPEARS in a red cloud of fire,smoke,and whale goo . Everybody is back at a "Safe" distance clapping and cheering when all of a sudden you hear this "SOUND" in the background of the video . THUNK....THUNK....THUNK...THUNK . WTF??? Suddenly people start running and screaming in a blind panic . They used too much dynamite and blasted the whale UP and not OUT . It was fucking RAINING WHALE BITS on the terrified crowd . 200 lb. whale bits!!!! One piece CRUSHED a car!!! Oh dear sweet God of all things that are awsome , I thank you for this sight that I am being allowed to witness!!!! It may have been the greatest , most monumentally kick ass thing that I have EVER seen (...and I've seen child births , buildings demolished , and the actual space shuttle landing in a dry lake bed in California all first hand) . HOLY SHIT . I would probably NEVER condone the use of high explosives on a whale that was alive ( I say "probably" because , hey , you never know. Some whale starts getting cocky due to the whole "Save the whale" movement and thinks he's untouchable so he just goes around fucking with us , making cracks about our mamas , joking about our pathetic inability to hold our breaths underwater for more than about four minutes while he can stay under for hours , whatever. At some point we'd just HAVE to blow his ass out of the water to teach the other whales a lesson . You don't want a world full of smart ass whales talking shit on us do you? ) .
Anyway , if you ever get a chance to see that particular video...DO IT .
.... 
A huge 6 ton whale carcass washes up on a beach in Oregon . How do you get rid of something like that? Push it back into the ocean? Dig a hole and bury it in the sand? Build a Starbucks in front of it and hope that nobody notices the smell? Well , my friends , these brilliant people came up with the by God BEST FUCKING PLAN EVER . Blow it to bits with a huge ammount of high explosives!!!! WHY , you may ask ? I asked myself the same question , then I realized that I didn't even care . THAT was an ingenius idea . Who gives a rat's ass why ?
So the city officials proceed to PACK this giant dead sea creature with TNT . They don't know exactly how much to use , so they just use an EXCESSIVE ammount of the stuff . Their "official" plan was to "Blow the carcass back out to sea and let the sea gulls feed on the leftovers" . So they have old Moby Dick all set to go into orbit and they're filming it for the 6 O'clock news . They do a countdown . 3...2...1...KABLAAAAM!!!!!! This fucking whale just DISAPPEARS in a red cloud of fire,smoke,and whale goo . Everybody is back at a "Safe" distance clapping and cheering when all of a sudden you hear this "SOUND" in the background of the video . THUNK....THUNK....THUNK...THUNK . WTF??? Suddenly people start running and screaming in a blind panic . They used too much dynamite and blasted the whale UP and not OUT . It was fucking RAINING WHALE BITS on the terrified crowd . 200 lb. whale bits!!!! One piece CRUSHED a car!!! Oh dear sweet God of all things that are awsome , I thank you for this sight that I am being allowed to witness!!!! It may have been the greatest , most monumentally kick ass thing that I have EVER seen (...and I've seen child births , buildings demolished , and the actual space shuttle landing in a dry lake bed in California all first hand) . HOLY SHIT . I would probably NEVER condone the use of high explosives on a whale that was alive ( I say "probably" because , hey , you never know. Some whale starts getting cocky due to the whole "Save the whale" movement and thinks he's untouchable so he just goes around fucking with us , making cracks about our mamas , joking about our pathetic inability to hold our breaths underwater for more than about four minutes while he can stay under for hours , whatever. At some point we'd just HAVE to blow his ass out of the water to teach the other whales a lesson . You don't want a world full of smart ass whales talking shit on us do you? ) .
Anyway , if you ever get a chance to see that particular video...DO IT .
....