Everybody in America has heard of Welfare , right ? It's a government program that supports people who can't get jobs...or who can bullshit the government into believing that for some reason they can't work . This program is all well and good . It helps people buy food and put a roof over their head and all of that stuff . I , however , propose a NEW program for people such as myself . People who have jobs that suck and still can't afford to live .
Now I don't believe in taking hand-outs . That's not the way I was raised . I DO believe that the government owes me a little something though . I still plan on working...just at another vocation . I want to get back to doing what I've been plotting for years . TAKING OVER THE WORLD . Sure it's a lofty goal , but I think that I'd make a damn fine global dominating tyrant . I could , at the very least , run the world as well as the assholes who have the job now . All that I need is some money to grease the wheels of my personal war machine . That is why I've come up with a brand new program for persons with dreams of conquest . Similar to the Welfare program , the Warfare program would support people who can't afford the enormous costs of raising and outfitting a private army . Each month I would be given a $2,000,000.00 Warfare check to hire mercenaries , build an inpenetrable stronghold , arm my troops with the newest and most lethal of weaponry , and buy politicians to back my movement to overthrow the world's governments . Yes , I know that it sounds crazy to expect the government to give me money to raise an army to overthrow that very same government , but they've blown money on stupider things than that . They once spent millions of dollars to research whether cow flatulence and the methane that it produced could have long term effects on the environment and the health of human beings . That is absolutely TRUE . Cow farts , people . Millions of dollars on COW FARTS . Hell , they probably wouldn't even know WHERE the fucking money was going as the vast majority of Washington D.C. has its head up its collective ass 365 days a year . So for those of you who would also like a shot at taking over the planet , help me get my Warfare bill passed . It's to help ALL would be dictators , not JUST me . Hell , it'd be easier for all of us to topple the power structure of the world if we each took a particular part of the world as our personal "project" . Once all of the people running the show now were knocked out of their seats , we could form a shadowy organization with some really cool and ominous sounding name and run the world from behind the scenes . It would be AWSOME!!!!
So go out and petition...or blackmail...your local congress person into putting this bill through . We ALL deserve the right to blow shit up and feel like big tough guys/girls . POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!!!
Now I don't believe in taking hand-outs . That's not the way I was raised . I DO believe that the government owes me a little something though . I still plan on working...just at another vocation . I want to get back to doing what I've been plotting for years . TAKING OVER THE WORLD . Sure it's a lofty goal , but I think that I'd make a damn fine global dominating tyrant . I could , at the very least , run the world as well as the assholes who have the job now . All that I need is some money to grease the wheels of my personal war machine . That is why I've come up with a brand new program for persons with dreams of conquest . Similar to the Welfare program , the Warfare program would support people who can't afford the enormous costs of raising and outfitting a private army . Each month I would be given a $2,000,000.00 Warfare check to hire mercenaries , build an inpenetrable stronghold , arm my troops with the newest and most lethal of weaponry , and buy politicians to back my movement to overthrow the world's governments . Yes , I know that it sounds crazy to expect the government to give me money to raise an army to overthrow that very same government , but they've blown money on stupider things than that . They once spent millions of dollars to research whether cow flatulence and the methane that it produced could have long term effects on the environment and the health of human beings . That is absolutely TRUE . Cow farts , people . Millions of dollars on COW FARTS . Hell , they probably wouldn't even know WHERE the fucking money was going as the vast majority of Washington D.C. has its head up its collective ass 365 days a year . So for those of you who would also like a shot at taking over the planet , help me get my Warfare bill passed . It's to help ALL would be dictators , not JUST me . Hell , it'd be easier for all of us to topple the power structure of the world if we each took a particular part of the world as our personal "project" . Once all of the people running the show now were knocked out of their seats , we could form a shadowy organization with some really cool and ominous sounding name and run the world from behind the scenes . It would be AWSOME!!!!
So go out and petition...or blackmail...your local congress person into putting this bill through . We ALL deserve the right to blow shit up and feel like big tough guys/girls . POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!!!
sureality:
So I noticed you dug the last bailey set! If you are interested you can read about behind the scenes info in my Oct. 31st journal entry. So did you notice the burning car? Most people mised it. Its our fun little "plant".