TinfoilHalo presents...
An open letter to terrorists .
Dear Mr. or Mrs terrorist ,
I would like to point out a few things about your whole current Jihad that you may find useful in making your future Jihad decisions .
(1)Your recent exploits pertaining to the blowing up of airplanes seems poorly conceived . Smuggling explosives onboard aircraft in various liquid and gel forms is not only crazy , but also not very cost effective . Filling a Hi-C drink box with napalm or squeezing a six megaton nuclear warhead in a tube of toothpaste just seems like a bad idea . First of all , the explosives themselves are pretty pricy ( I've tried to get plastique explosives & detonation devices to entertain folks at parties and family gatherings myself . Nothing says fun like blowing the shit out of Uncle Frank's 1989 Buick Skylark after eating some tasty grilled animal . Needless to say , it ain't cheap ) . Secondly , groceries are expensive as well . It might be smarter for you to use all of that money and groceries to feed and cloth the people that you say you're fighting this war against the free world for . I'm sure there are people who would rather DRINK that bottled water or WEAR the shoes that you're trying to put explosives in . Just a thought .
(2) You say that you're doing God's will in the wanton destruction of innocent people . I can tell you for a fact that God DOESN'T really care for it . You see , Jesus is my co-pilot ( I've got a bumper sticker to prove it ) . The other day me and J-dawg were out at Denny's enjoying some tasty cuisine . Jesus says " You know what my dad really HATES ? " I responded "Bestiality???" (Because nine times out of ten that would be the correct answer . ) . "No" Jesus said "It's these crazy kooks who are blowing everybody up . Do you know how long it takes my dad to make you people??? Do you have any idea how many doo-dads and gizmos go into the average homo sapien ? You all are some complicated sons of bitches , I gotta' say . So when you go all nutso and decide to blow up a couple hundred of your own people , it means the big guy's gotta pull some overtime to make more of you and balance things out . That really cuts into his World Of Warcraft playing time . He HATES that . " So there you go . If you think that I made all of that up , I would ask you to provide ME with proof that God told you to blow up a bunch of complete strangers who did nothing to you . You give me that , and I'll give you a VHS of me and Jesus debating the pro's and con's of mass murder while we're at our weekly bowling league . Deal? Good .
(3) Lastly , I'd like to point out that you seem to be generally pissed off at the American , British , and most UN countries governments . They interfere with your right to do what you want . They try to take your money and resources . They basically want to make you do their bidding . Guess what ? Join the fucking club . They're doing the same shit to all of US and you don't see us flying jets into buildings over it . What makes YOU so goddamn special ? ALL governments suck . Do you think yours will be any different ? Not likely . It's an unpleasant fact of life , but we need those assholes to keep the rest of the assholes in line . If you think that you have a better way of doing things or a more peaceful solution to world politics come over here, become a citizen , and VOTE for the person who best embodies your personal ideals of what a good and decent leader should be . Of course the election will probably be rigged and you'll wind up with some dickhead who does EVERYTHING ass backwards and fucks up in front of the whole world , then tries to make shit up to gloss it all over while continuing to screw over everybody who he's suposed to be working for . Then you'll see how futile fighting the government REALLY is .
I would like to end this letter by telling you a little secret . Nobody was really all that interested in the Middle East before 9-11 . You were all killing each other just like we were . THEN , you had to go and make a statement by destroying the World Trade Center and killing thousands of innocent people . What happened then ? Did everybody stop and say " Well , I guess they showed us . Let's just do whatever they say . " No , it was pretty much the exact opposite of that . You see , we had almost forgotten about the whole thing . As tragic and terrible as it was , we had just about moved on . We were talking about withdrawing troops from Iraq and just going about our own business like we used to . Then this shit in the UK happens . NOW , it's going to just escalate and keep on going for God knows how long . The secret that I said I'd tell you is this . WE have enough stupid shit going on in our own country to deal with . If you leave us alone , we'll probably forget all about you once the next season of American Idle comes out . Most Americans are more involved with how Freddy Prinze Jr's going to get through his latest wacky romantic entanglement on"Freddy" than we are with what is going on in the Middle East . The only time we take notice is when YOU do something . If YOU stop doing shit , our mass media clouded ADD riddled minds will just skip to whatever the latest fashion trend or celebrity scandal is . Christ , that week that Mel Gibson lost his damn mind nobody even said the words "Middle East" . Even CNN was reporting "Why Mel Gibson's crazy anti-semitic ass is more important than Iraq . " . I know because I watched it . It was fucking GRIPPING . I couldn't take my eyes off of it . So just stop fucking things up and we'll let you be . Okay ? Alright then . Good luck with all of your craziness .
Sincerely ,
TinfoilHalo
An open letter to terrorists .
Dear Mr. or Mrs terrorist ,
I would like to point out a few things about your whole current Jihad that you may find useful in making your future Jihad decisions .
(1)Your recent exploits pertaining to the blowing up of airplanes seems poorly conceived . Smuggling explosives onboard aircraft in various liquid and gel forms is not only crazy , but also not very cost effective . Filling a Hi-C drink box with napalm or squeezing a six megaton nuclear warhead in a tube of toothpaste just seems like a bad idea . First of all , the explosives themselves are pretty pricy ( I've tried to get plastique explosives & detonation devices to entertain folks at parties and family gatherings myself . Nothing says fun like blowing the shit out of Uncle Frank's 1989 Buick Skylark after eating some tasty grilled animal . Needless to say , it ain't cheap ) . Secondly , groceries are expensive as well . It might be smarter for you to use all of that money and groceries to feed and cloth the people that you say you're fighting this war against the free world for . I'm sure there are people who would rather DRINK that bottled water or WEAR the shoes that you're trying to put explosives in . Just a thought .
(2) You say that you're doing God's will in the wanton destruction of innocent people . I can tell you for a fact that God DOESN'T really care for it . You see , Jesus is my co-pilot ( I've got a bumper sticker to prove it ) . The other day me and J-dawg were out at Denny's enjoying some tasty cuisine . Jesus says " You know what my dad really HATES ? " I responded "Bestiality???" (Because nine times out of ten that would be the correct answer . ) . "No" Jesus said "It's these crazy kooks who are blowing everybody up . Do you know how long it takes my dad to make you people??? Do you have any idea how many doo-dads and gizmos go into the average homo sapien ? You all are some complicated sons of bitches , I gotta' say . So when you go all nutso and decide to blow up a couple hundred of your own people , it means the big guy's gotta pull some overtime to make more of you and balance things out . That really cuts into his World Of Warcraft playing time . He HATES that . " So there you go . If you think that I made all of that up , I would ask you to provide ME with proof that God told you to blow up a bunch of complete strangers who did nothing to you . You give me that , and I'll give you a VHS of me and Jesus debating the pro's and con's of mass murder while we're at our weekly bowling league . Deal? Good .
(3) Lastly , I'd like to point out that you seem to be generally pissed off at the American , British , and most UN countries governments . They interfere with your right to do what you want . They try to take your money and resources . They basically want to make you do their bidding . Guess what ? Join the fucking club . They're doing the same shit to all of US and you don't see us flying jets into buildings over it . What makes YOU so goddamn special ? ALL governments suck . Do you think yours will be any different ? Not likely . It's an unpleasant fact of life , but we need those assholes to keep the rest of the assholes in line . If you think that you have a better way of doing things or a more peaceful solution to world politics come over here, become a citizen , and VOTE for the person who best embodies your personal ideals of what a good and decent leader should be . Of course the election will probably be rigged and you'll wind up with some dickhead who does EVERYTHING ass backwards and fucks up in front of the whole world , then tries to make shit up to gloss it all over while continuing to screw over everybody who he's suposed to be working for . Then you'll see how futile fighting the government REALLY is .
I would like to end this letter by telling you a little secret . Nobody was really all that interested in the Middle East before 9-11 . You were all killing each other just like we were . THEN , you had to go and make a statement by destroying the World Trade Center and killing thousands of innocent people . What happened then ? Did everybody stop and say " Well , I guess they showed us . Let's just do whatever they say . " No , it was pretty much the exact opposite of that . You see , we had almost forgotten about the whole thing . As tragic and terrible as it was , we had just about moved on . We were talking about withdrawing troops from Iraq and just going about our own business like we used to . Then this shit in the UK happens . NOW , it's going to just escalate and keep on going for God knows how long . The secret that I said I'd tell you is this . WE have enough stupid shit going on in our own country to deal with . If you leave us alone , we'll probably forget all about you once the next season of American Idle comes out . Most Americans are more involved with how Freddy Prinze Jr's going to get through his latest wacky romantic entanglement on"Freddy" than we are with what is going on in the Middle East . The only time we take notice is when YOU do something . If YOU stop doing shit , our mass media clouded ADD riddled minds will just skip to whatever the latest fashion trend or celebrity scandal is . Christ , that week that Mel Gibson lost his damn mind nobody even said the words "Middle East" . Even CNN was reporting "Why Mel Gibson's crazy anti-semitic ass is more important than Iraq . " . I know because I watched it . It was fucking GRIPPING . I couldn't take my eyes off of it . So just stop fucking things up and we'll let you be . Okay ? Alright then . Good luck with all of your craziness .
Sincerely ,
TinfoilHalo
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
heterochromia:
BRAVO!
fatal:
hey thanks for your comment on my set 
xx
xx