If any of you have been around long enough to hear me complain about my job , you'll know how painfully BORING it is . As such , I have a lot of time during the day when my mind wanders . Occasionally I direct my boredom numbed brain towards strange and unusual subjects . During my wandering yesterday I came upon an amazing revelation . Allow me to explain .
I , after over a century of utter failure by the rest of the world , have finally figured out the identity of one of the most notorious serial killers that has ever existed . I'm speaking , of course , about Jack The Ripper . The murderer who would become known to the world and , in particular the denizens of London England , as Jack The Ripper began his bloody rampage in 1888 . Five prostitutes fell before the Ripper's blade before he mysteriously vanished without a trace . Scotland Yard and some of the most brilliant minds of the time were at a loss to identify or even come up with a reasonably good suspect in the case . Jack The Ripper was never found and his identity to this day reamains a mystery .
I say to THIS day , because I know who he is and soon you will too . Jack The Ripper was none other than...
beloved television personality JOHN RITTER!!!!
MURDERER
Yes , friends . It seems so simple to me now . I can't believe that I never noticed it before . I shall break down my discovery for you so that you will understand that it could be NOBODY else . Firstly , John Ritter's most well known role was on 70's television sitcom Three's Company . His character's name...Jack Tripper . Or Jack T. Ripper!!!! It's well known to even a first year criminal psychology student that most serial killers commit their crimes in a desperate bid for attention and , in fact , WANT to be caught . Mr. Ritter was throwing his identity right in our faces and hiding his devious crimes behind a facade of slapstick comedy and crazy situational humor . He was DARING us to tie him to the brutal murders . Secondly , his REAL name if that is actually his real name...John Ritter . The Ripper specifically stalked prostitutes on the foggy streets of London . Men who solicit prostitutes are nicknamed "Johns" . AH-HA!!!!! And Ritter is only two letters away from Ripper . Coincidence ? I think not . Finally , as if we needed any more evidence to prove The Ripper's true identity . Jack The Ripper once wrote a letter taunting the police of Scotland Yard and he signed it "From Hell" . The last live action film that John Ritter acted in was Bad Santa . Bad , like what killing people is . Santa , being ever so close to Satan . Yet ANOTHER strange coincidence ? Yeah , you're starting to see it now aren't you ? Old Uncle Tinfoil isn't as insane as all of those news reports and eye witness testimonies would lead you to believe . Insane like a crazy fox!!!!
So there it is in plain , easy to understand FACTS . It's a shame that Mr. Ritter passed away before my keen mind cracked his true identity , but at least the rest of world knows that one of the most infamous serial killers in history has finally been unmasked . Justice , baby . Served up cold and with a side of chips .
For those of you who are saying " Hey , Tinfoil ? If those murders were committed around the time of 1888 , how could John Ritter , who was born in 1948 , be the guy who perpetrated them ? Easy . He was VERY clever .
I , after over a century of utter failure by the rest of the world , have finally figured out the identity of one of the most notorious serial killers that has ever existed . I'm speaking , of course , about Jack The Ripper . The murderer who would become known to the world and , in particular the denizens of London England , as Jack The Ripper began his bloody rampage in 1888 . Five prostitutes fell before the Ripper's blade before he mysteriously vanished without a trace . Scotland Yard and some of the most brilliant minds of the time were at a loss to identify or even come up with a reasonably good suspect in the case . Jack The Ripper was never found and his identity to this day reamains a mystery .
I say to THIS day , because I know who he is and soon you will too . Jack The Ripper was none other than...
beloved television personality JOHN RITTER!!!!
MURDERER
Yes , friends . It seems so simple to me now . I can't believe that I never noticed it before . I shall break down my discovery for you so that you will understand that it could be NOBODY else . Firstly , John Ritter's most well known role was on 70's television sitcom Three's Company . His character's name...Jack Tripper . Or Jack T. Ripper!!!! It's well known to even a first year criminal psychology student that most serial killers commit their crimes in a desperate bid for attention and , in fact , WANT to be caught . Mr. Ritter was throwing his identity right in our faces and hiding his devious crimes behind a facade of slapstick comedy and crazy situational humor . He was DARING us to tie him to the brutal murders . Secondly , his REAL name if that is actually his real name...John Ritter . The Ripper specifically stalked prostitutes on the foggy streets of London . Men who solicit prostitutes are nicknamed "Johns" . AH-HA!!!!! And Ritter is only two letters away from Ripper . Coincidence ? I think not . Finally , as if we needed any more evidence to prove The Ripper's true identity . Jack The Ripper once wrote a letter taunting the police of Scotland Yard and he signed it "From Hell" . The last live action film that John Ritter acted in was Bad Santa . Bad , like what killing people is . Santa , being ever so close to Satan . Yet ANOTHER strange coincidence ? Yeah , you're starting to see it now aren't you ? Old Uncle Tinfoil isn't as insane as all of those news reports and eye witness testimonies would lead you to believe . Insane like a crazy fox!!!!
So there it is in plain , easy to understand FACTS . It's a shame that Mr. Ritter passed away before my keen mind cracked his true identity , but at least the rest of world knows that one of the most infamous serial killers in history has finally been unmasked . Justice , baby . Served up cold and with a side of chips .
For those of you who are saying " Hey , Tinfoil ? If those murders were committed around the time of 1888 , how could John Ritter , who was born in 1948 , be the guy who perpetrated them ? Easy . He was VERY clever .
Thanks so much for your sweet comment on my set!