tinfoilhalo

I thought that recent events had effectively destroyed my puckish sense of humor and I had become a hollow shell of a human being...and then today I saw a girl wearing a shirt that said "I'm surrounded by jag-offs".

Here is a helpful list of phrases and sayings that are native to the Pittsburgh,PA area, including the afore mentioned "Jag-Off" .

1) Jag-Off : A...
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You know what sucks? Being broke,that's what. Why does the Powerball lottery have to be so damn hard to win? OR...why don't they just GIVE everybody that plays ten thousand bucks instead of giving one person 250 million bucks? That seems fair, right?

I think I'm going to go knock over a liquor store.

So I celebrated my birthday by traveling up to Michigan to see one of my friends that I've known since elementary school. Had a GREAT time hanging out and playing with his new baby. Those things are just endlessly entertaining.

High points involved my birthday dinner that his wife's mom(who was also visiting) made. Seafood lasagna with Alfredo sauce!!!! SOOOOOOOO GOOD. Also enjoyed watching cheesy...
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Just saw The Simpsons movie. I am happy to report that they have apparently been leaving all of the funny out of the regular T.V. show to save it up for the movie. FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!

Really needed a good laugh. July has been the worst month EVER.

I have returned from the great North West!!!! Portland was AWESOME!!!! I had a really great time. Such a clean and friendly city with so many strange and sometimes downright WEIRD people. It was just such a huge departure from the East Coast. OH...and the BEER!!!! Holy poop on a stick, the beer!!!! So many breweries, so little time. I did not go a single...
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So I'm going to Portland,OR for two glorious weeks on June 17th. If I'm not mistaken, Portland used to be the home of SG back in the old days didn't it? Anyway, I've never been there and don't know too much about the area. Anybody ever been? Got any useful tips or suggestions? The only two things that I planned on doing were (A) Tormenting...
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"Ode to my recent hatred of Scooters"

I must express my general disgruntlement with scooters. While I'll admit they look like they're fun to zip through the crowded little streets of Europe on, they really have no effing business being in front of me and other road rage suffering motorists on a major American highway. WHY Mr. and Mrs. middle age yuppie scooter operators? Why...
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Have you ever fallen for a person who you just know will only wind up causing you grief ? It's like this girl that I know is like living breathing heroin. I know that I shouldn't have gotten involved with her in the first place, but now I'm hooked. I'm also a smart enough person to know that , in time , she will most...
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I would like to pose a philosophical question to all of you out there in SG land.

Would you rather...

A) Be an out of work actor working at a second job as a waiter in a two bit restaurant and not having any acting credits to speak of under your belt .

OR

B) Be an actor with a nationally televised commercial which millions...
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I went and saw Grindhouse today . Kind of a mixed bag , but I still highly recommend it just for Robert Rodriguez's flick "Planet Terror" . He really hit a home run with this homage to crappy B horror movies . A cliche'd but solid plot , Loads of gore , purposefully bad dialogue and over-acting , even a few intentional film breaks and...
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How the hell can it be 80 degrees and sunny one day and then the very next day it's 30 degrees and snowing????? Screw you Al Gore and your bullshit global warming . You are a dirty dirty liar .

You ever have that one friend that always gets you to do stupid shit that you would never normally do? Well , I have three of those friends . Apparently they're all conspiring to destroy my liver . They all seem to ask me to go hang out at the bar with them on different nights . Sometimes everybody meets up at one time for...
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