timskin

Well mum is "safely" hospitalised again. This feels all too familiar. Today has been a shambles, god bless the NHS. She will hopefully not be away too long this time, she wasn't as bad as the first time she was admitted but was back on the same slope. Infections stop her walking which then leads to her body filling with water which leads to more infections which leads to her oxygen levels dropping to stupid levels. A partial heart failure is the underlying cause...I try to forget that as often as I can.

I think i will get a few hours sleep then go back up to see if she's been assessed fully yet, always takes hours before anything happens and she was sleeping so we left. I dont know how much guilt one person can take but with this and martin (my twin ) in care I think I'm gong to test it.

This on top of calling everything a day and trying to finally get over a certain someone - which is for the best, though I still dont trust the motives. I think it's for the best I'm alone - better that the the usual of people taking everything they can and running when it suits them.

Anyone have a crystal ball?? I'm curious as to how everything works out...And I don't really want to keep watching.