Things are a bit up in the air again at the minute. A million things all at once. Feels like a lot of change in the air, which I relish.
The last week has been one I would like to forget for my family, my cousin in the states was killed in a car accident. He was in the US army and was buried with a full military ceremony last week. He was on leave from Iraq of all places. The normal ensuing family dramas have pretty much faded now, mainly the problem involved a ridiculously stubborn granmother not understanding that she was not needed or wanted in the states whilst his mum tries to deal with it all. As I write she is now not going and all is as it should be....ask again tomorrow though and the answer may be different!!
I have found myself at a loss to deal with the pressure from all ends anymore, it seems wherever I go there is more. Even if people don't mean to - they perhaps don;t realise I suppose. I have taken steps I should have taken many years ago and will be speaking to someone professionally tomorrow. I am feeling a fraud and dreading it....but it may stop me wasting the next few years as I have the previous. A good night's sleep will suffice!!!
I'm finding increasingly that a lot of people don't really mean everything they say...and don't say everything they mean!! I think i'm just ridiculously bad at reading people!! I'm told I'm a disgusting flirt most of the time...where as I think I'm a sarcastic twat!! If I can't even get that right maybe I do miss things that are in front of me!!
Saturday I am taking part in an Art market in town, so long as everything stays on the walls and doesn't crash to the floor I'm quite looking forward ot it. It's something new, maybe some new faces and stuff too. Obviously a few sales would be good but that's not really my motivation. Some advertising and a new experience will do just fine.
I have been starting to look about at canterbury dwellings, think i need to rent privately as they wont offer halls to someone living so close. Quite daunting trying to make the right decision. Twice as hard when i need to try and get my family home moved closer too. I'm sure with the right attitude it will be good, brilliant in fact. can't wait for the work and the atmosphere. Obviously all change has it's downside and there are things that i won't leave easily.
Been thinking backwards a lot recently...And then realising i spend no time looking forward. And that is my main problem....and something that is stopping.
Chrsitmas in 3 weeks!! urk...done no shopping at all!!!hehehehe!! Then paris 4 weeks after that, complete with Giacometti and Courbet retrospectives whilst I'm there...I almost wet myself I tell you!!!
Hope you all are well...say hello if you're reading this...don't be shy!!
The last week has been one I would like to forget for my family, my cousin in the states was killed in a car accident. He was in the US army and was buried with a full military ceremony last week. He was on leave from Iraq of all places. The normal ensuing family dramas have pretty much faded now, mainly the problem involved a ridiculously stubborn granmother not understanding that she was not needed or wanted in the states whilst his mum tries to deal with it all. As I write she is now not going and all is as it should be....ask again tomorrow though and the answer may be different!!
I have found myself at a loss to deal with the pressure from all ends anymore, it seems wherever I go there is more. Even if people don't mean to - they perhaps don;t realise I suppose. I have taken steps I should have taken many years ago and will be speaking to someone professionally tomorrow. I am feeling a fraud and dreading it....but it may stop me wasting the next few years as I have the previous. A good night's sleep will suffice!!!
I'm finding increasingly that a lot of people don't really mean everything they say...and don't say everything they mean!! I think i'm just ridiculously bad at reading people!! I'm told I'm a disgusting flirt most of the time...where as I think I'm a sarcastic twat!! If I can't even get that right maybe I do miss things that are in front of me!!
Saturday I am taking part in an Art market in town, so long as everything stays on the walls and doesn't crash to the floor I'm quite looking forward ot it. It's something new, maybe some new faces and stuff too. Obviously a few sales would be good but that's not really my motivation. Some advertising and a new experience will do just fine.
I have been starting to look about at canterbury dwellings, think i need to rent privately as they wont offer halls to someone living so close. Quite daunting trying to make the right decision. Twice as hard when i need to try and get my family home moved closer too. I'm sure with the right attitude it will be good, brilliant in fact. can't wait for the work and the atmosphere. Obviously all change has it's downside and there are things that i won't leave easily.
Been thinking backwards a lot recently...And then realising i spend no time looking forward. And that is my main problem....and something that is stopping.
Chrsitmas in 3 weeks!! urk...done no shopping at all!!!hehehehe!! Then paris 4 weeks after that, complete with Giacometti and Courbet retrospectives whilst I'm there...I almost wet myself I tell you!!!
Hope you all are well...say hello if you're reading this...don't be shy!!
Right, now that's out of the way, sorry to hear about your cousin, that really does suck. And how ironic that he should be on leave from a warzone too. My little brother is in the army and they're just waiting for him to turn 18 in June before they send him out to either Iraq or Afghanistan. It worries me sick but I know there's nothing I can do
Christmas in 3 weeks is also shit. How has it crept up on me like that? I know I'm not the only one thinking that either! I'm guessing it's a sign that I'm getting older and apparently time goes even quicker the older you get, so that's something to look forward to, NOT!
Oh, gotta go, the bin men have just arrived and Tessie is going mental, I need to close the curtains until they've gone!
Byeeeeeeee
x