There isnt a whole lot happening at the moment, well there is, but it's nothing that I seem to have control over. A lot of things that have to be done and then not a lot of time left in each day. There's been a lot of change for me recently, a lot of goodbyes also - even for good reasons it isn't always easy. I now seem to live in the car and if I'm not somewhere doing something I'm on the way. I can't sleep and I can't sit still (something admitedly i've never excelled at!) tonight it feels for the first time that I can't handle it.
I know it's a feeling that will pass. But hanging on isnt good enough anymore. There's too much i need to do whilst i'm here and there will always be a thousand things stopping you from doing them. Especially if you dont put yourself first sometimes, it's rare that anyone appreciates the effort you will go to for them I've found anyway. So perhaps it's time to stop.
I'm sure I'll regret this stupidity tomorrow. I have such an anger to some people that only serves to hurt me, because they all found it too easy to forget about anyway. there's nothing worse than feeling the fool for the things you cant change.Every bit of me knows dwelling wont help but somehow my mind conspires against me and chooses to ignore this.
I went to see Rueben this week who are a truely excellent little band, an over long set...but still quite superb.
I have also learnt that I am NOt tiger Woods!!! It's a shame because he seems to enjoy what he does!!hehe, but as much as I can beat the shite out of a little golf ball....I'll be damned if I can aim the sodding thing!!
I have taken to running in quite a big way, especially in the rain with some headphones on. I've always been one for people watching, somehow it feels very detached.
I found a seaview point that was completely stunning, I may put some shots up on here soon. There's something very ethereal about standing on the very edge of your country somehow. I don't know why, I guess it helps place yourself. I can look at a map and know where I was exactly, gives a true perpective on how little everything I've typed here actually matters....but i'm not going to delete it!! The whole point was to get it off my mind and to try and resolve myself what s in my head.
I feel slightly better already. congrats if you bothered reading this far!!!
Take care kiddies
I know it's a feeling that will pass. But hanging on isnt good enough anymore. There's too much i need to do whilst i'm here and there will always be a thousand things stopping you from doing them. Especially if you dont put yourself first sometimes, it's rare that anyone appreciates the effort you will go to for them I've found anyway. So perhaps it's time to stop.
I'm sure I'll regret this stupidity tomorrow. I have such an anger to some people that only serves to hurt me, because they all found it too easy to forget about anyway. there's nothing worse than feeling the fool for the things you cant change.Every bit of me knows dwelling wont help but somehow my mind conspires against me and chooses to ignore this.
I went to see Rueben this week who are a truely excellent little band, an over long set...but still quite superb.
I have also learnt that I am NOt tiger Woods!!! It's a shame because he seems to enjoy what he does!!hehe, but as much as I can beat the shite out of a little golf ball....I'll be damned if I can aim the sodding thing!!
I have taken to running in quite a big way, especially in the rain with some headphones on. I've always been one for people watching, somehow it feels very detached.
I found a seaview point that was completely stunning, I may put some shots up on here soon. There's something very ethereal about standing on the very edge of your country somehow. I don't know why, I guess it helps place yourself. I can look at a map and know where I was exactly, gives a true perpective on how little everything I've typed here actually matters....but i'm not going to delete it!! The whole point was to get it off my mind and to try and resolve myself what s in my head.
I feel slightly better already. congrats if you bothered reading this far!!!
Take care kiddies
Its a tough call.