Is to find some bloody jeans! Not hugely exciting I grant you, but very necessary. As a rather large chap finding the required items that come anywhere near to fitting seems to be a never ending task! And I have just destroyed my last pair.
So before any unfortunate soul is subjected to my right testicle escaping from the expanding tear in the thigh, I think I will take some evasive action!
You may think this is an easy task....But oh no no no! Whilst shops and stores have finally addressed the varying size issues for many, there is still a group of us that are shunned, destined to trawl the backstreets for a poorly fitting hit of cotton goodness.
The genesis of this problem can be traced back to the British education system. If you were as lucky as I, you were the size of a large adult male by your early teens. To the great British educators this earmarks you for two possible outcomes - the Basketball team, or the Rugby team. If you add to the mix a furiously Welsh mother; you can imagine which of these came to pass. Whilst all good fun and no doubt character building, the well meaning adults failed to consider the natural outcome of such thigh-heavy activity upon a growing chap.
Fast forward to today. Whilst they are likely reclining in their grey sweatpants, debating which lurch-esque teen shall be their next victim to browbeat in to competitive sport, here I find myself. Taller than most stores think I should be, with a waist that apparently classes me as obese and thighs that are usually seen on a retired racehorse.
It is basically like trying to clothe Mr.Tumnus.