@rambo and @missy
Several very different things come to mind when I consider this question. The first, and most ridiculous and irrational, is my fear of snakes. I've always hated and been terrified of snakes. Not in a shriek-like-a-fourteen-year-old-girl-and-take-off-running kind of way, but in a way that makes my stomach clench into a knot, my heart rate increase and send me searching for the nearest blunt or bladed object to hunt down and kill that murderous, blood-sucking, evil sonofabitch. I mean, face it, snakes even LOOK wicked and evil. Like they're trying to make you die in a horrific, screaming, agonizing puddle of blood and necrotic tissue. And they're just. So. Sneaky. I nearly had a heart attack one night while wandering through the desert-like region of eastern Washington when a bush underfoot suddenly began to rattle. Now, before all you snake lovers get up in arms over my snake genocide, refer back to the part where I said "ridiculous and irrational."
On that same trip, I encountered a second rattlesnake, luckily during hours of daylight, and my machismo/friends got the better of me because I caught that sucker and kept it in a box for a while. It was pretty small, so maybe that helped me with my fear factor. I once saw a little blip of a TV show where there was a guy sitting in a bathtub full of snakes and there was even one coiled up on top of his head. Fuck that.
On an entirely different note, I also greatly fear failure; not at any particular task, either. I'm afraid of my life unfolding into a gigantic piece of shit, I'm afraid of messing up my upcoming promotion, afraid of choosing the right path for my future, afraid of growing lonely and old. I'm not very good at looking at myself objectively, but now that I see this all "on paper," it sort of seems like I'm afraid of the future. That makes sense in a way. The future is unknown, uncontrollable and unforgiving.
The past is steady and unchanging; even the present has a degree of consistency and control. The future, however, is wild and utterly unpredictable. I don't like things being out of my control. It makes me feel so...helpless.
Social interaction is the last fear that really comes to mind. I think I'm an unusual person. I'm an introvert but I also need socialization. The hard part is that as loud and wild as I can get with people that I'm comfortable around, I'm even more so nervous, shy and awkward around people that I don't know. Women much more than men, too. If you saw me in a bar you may not know it, but I'd be the last person to strike up a conversation with a woman. I'm good at faking that I'm comfortable and talkative when someone engages me, but inside I'm "shaking in my boots." Things that would flow naturally with other people require me to grasp and for blunder around for topics to discuss. Even when someone greets me in passing, sometimes I'll panic and mumble a response that has absolutely no bearing on whatever it was that they said. Or, even better, I'll just let out an incoherent grunt. Which then embarrasses me and perpetuates my fear of talking to strangers.
All that being said, keep your fucking snakes to yourself, please let me know if you can tell the future, and if you ever see me out and about force yourself into a conversation with me so I can try to overcome my social fears.
Thanks for reading, chicks and dicks.
*Oh, yes, I was supposed to tag @ivylina in my next blog homework. I'm afraid this one isn't as emotional and engaging as my last.*