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Okay, funny stuff first. Then stupid boring stuff that no one really cares about. Okay?

So you want to know how to make 14 people really grumpy? You play "Lets find the clog in the plumbing/septic tank" game.

Last weekend, not the May 23-25 one, but the 16-19, the Canadian long weekend, I went to BC to visit with my family. My grandpa has a cabin out there that we use many times during the summer. The cabin has two full bathroom, toilet and showers. The cabin also sits on the lake shore, well, close enough.

On sunday morning, while someone was taking a shower, they noticed that the water wasn't going down the drain. Then the toilets would flush and every drain became clogged. This lead to the start of the fun game.

First, you dig up the septic tank lid to figure if needs to be drained/sucked. Of course you have no idea where the lid is. You go off the memory from the last time the septic tank was dug up... some 7+ years ago. When you find a lid stop and continue to the next portion of your challenge. To help with the digging, make sure you septic tank is covered with dirt that is mostly rocks.

Crawl under the house and loosen some pipes to allow some drainage to occur. Don't forget that you have to take a bucket with you as you can't let that water sit on the plastic that is under the house. For added fun, allow some of the water to spill into your ear.

Next, start figuring out where the clog might be. This can add to arguing fun as to where everyone thinks they should try to unclog stuff.

When the player known as the septic cleaner shows up, inform the other players that there is another lid for the septic tank that needs to be dug up. This leads to more fun digging. When the second lid is uncovered, the players are challenged not to puke up the breakfast they had that morning. Doing so will give immediate ejection from the game. The player known as the septic tank cleaner will clean the tank to the best of his ability. When asked if the septic tank cleaner is willing to go into the septic tank to throughly clean the clog, your answer is "Hell no. I am not that stupid."

The owner must now pay the septic tank cleaner $500 for an emergency cleaning on the long weekend.

Now wait, the clog still does seem to be gone. You next task is to get everyone in the house. Each player takes a plunger and a drain. Be it sink, toilet or bathtub. On the count of three all players must plunge their drain and hope that something gets unclogged. Fun for all now.

The next task is to try to use the snow on any open hole you can find. Be it under the house or from within the house. This might seems like you should have tried this first, but meh, you wanted to have fun right?

Now, you must challenge the most difficult challenge of all: entering the septic tank!!!!! First strip down to only your shorts, don't want to get any of your clothes dirty now. Next get a latter and put it into the septic tank hole, as you will need a way out. Next enter the hole by jumping right in. Lastly, insert your arm into the pipe that flows from house and unclog anything find in there.

Next task is to call the player know as the Rooter Router guy (or RR for short). When the player first enters the game, allow him to use his device on the septic tank. Putting it up the hole you just had your arm in. This will find nothing. Next allow the RR to enter your home. He must keep his boots on at all times. Allow him to remove a toilet from you bathroom spilling water and other fun mystery floating item all over the place. Allow him to use his tool on the drain uncovered. When he has found all the clogs (four of them) allow him to walk freely on the freshly clean carpets with his "earthy" footwear.

Before the RR is allowed to clean up, replace the toilet and leave, he must talk about his Vietnamese mail order bride for 15 minutes. Or whatever crazy subject the RR can think up here the better. Remember, RR you are a drugged up hippy, so play to your strengths here.

After the RR leaves, everyone must clean up. Bleach and cleaning solution is the best choices here.

This should take you 12 hours to complete. Remember, nobody showers, goes to the bathroom or eating of any kind. You know where your hand have been and they are not clean. Also cover the septic tank again. Remember you don't want anybody else going in there. While putting the dirt back into the hole, remember that digging up the hole sucked with all the rocks. You will have to remove the stupid large rocks from the dirt as you shovel.

So what did I do during this whole game, my position was observer. I started off with a nap on the patio in the shade, enjoying the waves from the lake and the breeze. I then watched the hockey game, which was a major blow out. I then made some jokes and went to the neighbors to use the bathroom. I also chatted with them and had some food. All the others seemed kind of irritated with what was going on.

I also played the role of sous-chef. I kind of help with dinner that night. I made some potatoes, corn and a salad. I then cleaned up the kitchen afterwards. As much as shit make people depressed, steak can make them happy again.

And now the boring part....

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Before our worlds first collided
My world was in ruins
There was no life
There was no hope
There was fear
There was guilt
It was dark
It was deserted except for me

Your world was vibrant
There was growing life
There was perpetual hope
There was bravery
There was caring
It was bright
It was brimming with others

Then the collision happened
It was quick
It was noisy
It was brilliant
It was warm
It was embracing
It was eventful

After the collision there was shelter for my world
Your world protected mine as it recovered
Your world guided mine the rebuilding into something better
Your world was the blueprint my world inspired to be
To be a world that attracts other worlds
Like yours has been doing all this time
To be a world of light and power
To guide other worlds as they journey
To be a world full of hope and happiness
Which every world desires to have

I had a choice
To give my world up
Let it become part of your world
Or to keep my world as it is
Hope it stays intact as two worlds travel
My world still had fear
My world was unwilling to take the risk of losing itself
My world was a coward
I decided to go with the latter
For every time the decision presented itself

My world had grown
My world had gotten resources from your world
My world had taken some of your light
Feeding my world as it matured
But my world surface was still dark
The surface was depressing
The surface was scarred
The surface was ugly
The surface was unchanging

Your world had grown too
Your world had gotten resources from other worlds
Bigger and brighter worlds
Worlds that fed into your own and made it prosper
Keeping your world surface bright
The surface was uplifting
The surface was unblemished
The surface was beautiful
The surface was always changing

I did not know until now
but our worlds could never existed together
I could not live with your world
For I was too different
You could not live with mine
For you need more than my world offered
I tried me best to keep the two worlds together
But all good things come to an end
and I was too weak to stop it from happening
Attraction was replace with repulsion

Before the separation occurred
Your world gave up on protecting my world, it was able to go on its own
Your world let go of interfering with my world, letting decision be made on its own
Your world was rejecting mine for all the lack of things your world needed
To be able to attract other worlds
Like yours has been doing all this time
Forcing the pull away from my world
To be a world of light and power
To be able to guide worlds as they journey
To be a world full of hope and happiness
Which my world was lacking

Then the separation happened
It was slow
It was quiet
It was dull
It was cold
It was releasing
It was unnoticed

After our worlds separated
Your world was still vibrant
There was still growing life
There was still perpetual hope
There was still bravery
There was still caring
It was still bright
It was still brimming with others

My world was stable
There was no life, save some stolen from your world
There was no hope, save some absorbed from your world
There was fear, and more of it now
There was guilt, for I can only blame me
It was dark, save the shiny memories of your world
It was deserted except for me