Okay another update.....
But before I get to that.... I have noticed that the time between updates has been increased to two weeks. Just something I am pondering....
Feb 25:
Started calling the EB closest to my house to see if they have any Wii in stock.... (I will let you know when I get a Wii)....
Feb 26:
???
Feb 27:
???
Feb 28:
???
Mar 1:
TEA! Hahahaha. I remembered that one.
Had some great conversations with people. And being on a Thursday, more people showed up, including people I have not seen for weeks! Plus on these days I get squishy hugs from said people! YAY! Squishy hugs.
Did I mention I am a cuddle whore? Hmmmm.....
Mar 2:
???
Mar 3:
Laundry at the parent's house. Ate their food, watch their TV, played some Mariokart with my bro, Watched the Oilers suck. Gaaah! Stupid Oilers!
I was there so late that I just stayed over night.
Mar 4:
Pancakes for breakfast and pizza for supper! Watched some curling with my parents!
Mar 5:
Work, eat, sleep.
Mar 6:
Work, eat, sleep.
Mar 7:
Work, eat, sleep.
Mar 8:
Tea tonight! What is that? Tea on a thursday two weeks in a row? Yep. Tea has been moved to thursdays for me. The theory is, that those at tea on wednesday also show up on Thursday, and more people show up on Thursday, so it was moved to Thursday! YAY! More Squishy hugs (I hope)!
***************
Other random junk:
I think I am becoming disheartened in finding a girlfriend. It is not from a lack a trying, because frankly I haven't tried in a LONG time. It is more from the lack of opportunity. I don't get out much as it is, if the past three updates have not hinted at that fact, and I am not getting much direct help from others. No offense to anyone out there that has given me advice and encouragement, I am very gratefull for the information. I have had one female friend offer to go with me to a bar and help me pick up chicks, but that hasn't happened yet. (In fact I have not heard from her in a long while. I will try to send her some email to figure out why.) I have had another friend say she is looking for girl that I might want to date, but I have a hunch she might be looking for herself in the process too.
I think it more boils down to that I don't know how to interact with a group of people, especially if they are new to me. If need be, I might pick out someone who is not part of the group and start up a conversation with them, for they are basically are doing the same as I am. But for those people are far and inbetween. Normally, I see a group of people and I just step back and watch their dynamics, too scared that I might disrupt their flow and natural synergy (yeah, I used synergy in a term of social interaction
).
But in order to even put myself in the above situation where I might find someone new, I have to get out of the house. I have been hanging with the dark kids for some times now, but only in the context of tea. But I have not done anything with them outside of tea, except one. They mostly hang out at a club which I can not go to or they have a night once a month for their scene that I am also not allowed to go to (for reasons look at previous blogs.... *cough* *cough*). They don't seem to care too much about me, which may boil down to that a) they don't see me going to the places where they hang out and therefore are unworthy of their praise and friendship, or b) they are self centered and just don't care who is around them because they are number one. I want to believe it is more of the latter than the former.
Outside of tea, the only time I see people is when I am going to and from work, and 85% of the time, I am sleep on the train. When I am not sleeping, I really don't see anyone that is that attractive. I don't know if that is because my tastes are too high or something else, like I can't tell what a person is into just by a glance on a train. And forget about starting up a conversation with somebody, most people are either listening to music, reading or sleeping, all indications that they don't want to have a conversation with somebody.
That is why I am relying on people to help me out... because I can't help myself....
On another similar note, I don't feel sexual anymore. It has been building up for about 6 monthes now. I just feel.... dead, for lack of better term, when it comes to sex. I can talk about it in a clinical manor, but it does not excite me anymore.... in fact I think I am afraid of it. Does this sound weird to anyone, or am I just fucked up?
Well, I guess I have done enough venting for one day.
Have a great day readers!
But before I get to that.... I have noticed that the time between updates has been increased to two weeks. Just something I am pondering....
Feb 25:
Started calling the EB closest to my house to see if they have any Wii in stock.... (I will let you know when I get a Wii)....
Feb 26:
???
Feb 27:
???
Feb 28:
???
Mar 1:
TEA! Hahahaha. I remembered that one.
Had some great conversations with people. And being on a Thursday, more people showed up, including people I have not seen for weeks! Plus on these days I get squishy hugs from said people! YAY! Squishy hugs.
Did I mention I am a cuddle whore? Hmmmm.....
Mar 2:
???
Mar 3:
Laundry at the parent's house. Ate their food, watch their TV, played some Mariokart with my bro, Watched the Oilers suck. Gaaah! Stupid Oilers!
I was there so late that I just stayed over night.
Mar 4:
Pancakes for breakfast and pizza for supper!
Watched some curling with my parents!
Mar 5:
Work, eat, sleep.
Mar 6:
Work, eat, sleep.
Mar 7:
Work, eat, sleep.
Mar 8:
Tea tonight!
What is that? Tea on a thursday two weeks in a row? Yep. Tea has been moved to thursdays for me. The theory is, that those at tea on wednesday also show up on Thursday, and more people show up on Thursday, so it was moved to Thursday! YAY! More Squishy hugs (I hope)!
***************
Other random junk:
I think I am becoming disheartened in finding a girlfriend. It is not from a lack a trying, because frankly I haven't tried in a LONG time. It is more from the lack of opportunity. I don't get out much as it is, if the past three updates have not hinted at that fact, and I am not getting much direct help from others. No offense to anyone out there that has given me advice and encouragement, I am very gratefull for the information. I have had one female friend offer to go with me to a bar and help me pick up chicks, but that hasn't happened yet. (In fact I have not heard from her in a long while. I will try to send her some email to figure out why.) I have had another friend say she is looking for girl that I might want to date, but I have a hunch she might be looking for herself in the process too.
I think it more boils down to that I don't know how to interact with a group of people, especially if they are new to me. If need be, I might pick out someone who is not part of the group and start up a conversation with them, for they are basically are doing the same as I am. But for those people are far and inbetween. Normally, I see a group of people and I just step back and watch their dynamics, too scared that I might disrupt their flow and natural synergy (yeah, I used synergy in a term of social interaction
).
But in order to even put myself in the above situation where I might find someone new, I have to get out of the house. I have been hanging with the dark kids for some times now, but only in the context of tea. But I have not done anything with them outside of tea, except one. They mostly hang out at a club which I can not go to or they have a night once a month for their scene that I am also not allowed to go to (for reasons look at previous blogs.... *cough* *cough*). They don't seem to care too much about me, which may boil down to that a) they don't see me going to the places where they hang out and therefore are unworthy of their praise and friendship, or b) they are self centered and just don't care who is around them because they are number one. I want to believe it is more of the latter than the former.
Outside of tea, the only time I see people is when I am going to and from work, and 85% of the time, I am sleep on the train. When I am not sleeping, I really don't see anyone that is that attractive. I don't know if that is because my tastes are too high or something else, like I can't tell what a person is into just by a glance on a train. And forget about starting up a conversation with somebody, most people are either listening to music, reading or sleeping, all indications that they don't want to have a conversation with somebody.
That is why I am relying on people to help me out... because I can't help myself....
On another similar note, I don't feel sexual anymore. It has been building up for about 6 monthes now. I just feel.... dead, for lack of better term, when it comes to sex. I can talk about it in a clinical manor, but it does not excite me anymore.... in fact I think I am afraid of it. Does this sound weird to anyone, or am I just fucked up?
Well, I guess I have done enough venting for one day.
Have a great day readers!
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Yaaaay movie theatre!!!!!