june 17, 2005
my dear friends,
tonight i ran barefoot through the desert under a bright moon lit, starry arizona sky, and thought of writing you this letter.
amazing doesn't even begin to describe my experience here at indian hot springs, this incredible magical land with an intense history and energy to match. i'm here with a family i occasionally nanny for, and i'm working, but the gift is all mine. we're being led on a retreat by david wolfe, a raw food guru and friend of the family.
i've been here for four days and have been fasting on raw juices for two, with three more to go. so much has happened that i want to tell you about, but i can only start with what's fresh. after a sweat lodge tonight, smelling of sacred tobacco and high on raw peyote tea, i floated on my back in a hot springs lake and looked up at the stars. and all i felt, so totally simple and permeating my entire body was gratitude. that i'm alive. i haven't felt this way in years. i honestly thought i may never feel it this viscerally again. now i feel like a spoiled, humbled child, suddenly aware of how much i've been given.
yesterday, as i meditated on the setting sun, sitting on a hill overlooking vast desert, chapparrel, cacti, i felt a shock as the sun blipped behind the mountains. that this astounding act happens every day and i don't even notice. and i felt a deep ancestral resonance, pulled back into myself, superficial facades stripped away.
the animals and spirits here are so responsive and curious, but not tame. it's been a while since i've experienced nature untraumatized by the presence of people. my first night here i was welcomed by giant black carpenter ants, twin cats, and batsbatsbats. in the morning, i felt guided to walk down a road, and found at my feet a tiny speckled egg. i cradled it to my heart. in the afternoon heat, i cry, releasing grief, some old, some new. and find the resulting empty space filled with forgiveness. true self emerges, along with old dreams and desires, nearly forgotten. the spacious land holds firm.
i am also filled with appreciation. and respect. and thanks. for all of you dear hearts...for all of us...all of us stumbling fumbling wanderers, wearing our hearts on our sleeves and pretending we can hide it. i love you very much. when i return i will post this letter to you, and i know that no matter how shocking my re-entrance to my life may be, that sharing this with you will be a perfect homecoming.
the grand hotel
sunset meditation
dirty girl.
can you believe this is only 1/2 of the lake?
in the afternoon it was soooooo hot, that the only thing to do was to take a siesta. even better if it's with an old friend, just met.
my dear friends,
tonight i ran barefoot through the desert under a bright moon lit, starry arizona sky, and thought of writing you this letter.
amazing doesn't even begin to describe my experience here at indian hot springs, this incredible magical land with an intense history and energy to match. i'm here with a family i occasionally nanny for, and i'm working, but the gift is all mine. we're being led on a retreat by david wolfe, a raw food guru and friend of the family.
i've been here for four days and have been fasting on raw juices for two, with three more to go. so much has happened that i want to tell you about, but i can only start with what's fresh. after a sweat lodge tonight, smelling of sacred tobacco and high on raw peyote tea, i floated on my back in a hot springs lake and looked up at the stars. and all i felt, so totally simple and permeating my entire body was gratitude. that i'm alive. i haven't felt this way in years. i honestly thought i may never feel it this viscerally again. now i feel like a spoiled, humbled child, suddenly aware of how much i've been given.
yesterday, as i meditated on the setting sun, sitting on a hill overlooking vast desert, chapparrel, cacti, i felt a shock as the sun blipped behind the mountains. that this astounding act happens every day and i don't even notice. and i felt a deep ancestral resonance, pulled back into myself, superficial facades stripped away.
the animals and spirits here are so responsive and curious, but not tame. it's been a while since i've experienced nature untraumatized by the presence of people. my first night here i was welcomed by giant black carpenter ants, twin cats, and batsbatsbats. in the morning, i felt guided to walk down a road, and found at my feet a tiny speckled egg. i cradled it to my heart. in the afternoon heat, i cry, releasing grief, some old, some new. and find the resulting empty space filled with forgiveness. true self emerges, along with old dreams and desires, nearly forgotten. the spacious land holds firm.
i am also filled with appreciation. and respect. and thanks. for all of you dear hearts...for all of us...all of us stumbling fumbling wanderers, wearing our hearts on our sleeves and pretending we can hide it. i love you very much. when i return i will post this letter to you, and i know that no matter how shocking my re-entrance to my life may be, that sharing this with you will be a perfect homecoming.
the grand hotel
sunset meditation
dirty girl.
can you believe this is only 1/2 of the lake?
in the afternoon it was soooooo hot, that the only thing to do was to take a siesta. even better if it's with an old friend, just met.
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
spaztikfantaztik:
oa55:
entries like this make you my hero... one that i envy just a little