Wednesday Dec 10, 2003

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boy, there's nothin worse than a rant, except for when it won't shut up....sorry to leave that last entry up so long. been havin a dry spell of computer access. (p.s. all your comments were above and beyond...thanks for steppin up kiss )

so on the tail of that last entry, here's a story of sweetness gone sour...

so i go to this party this weekend...a "bizarre, bazar" in a three story house with three flats, in every room and hallway artisans have brought their cool stuff to sell. we smoke a joint before going in, check out the wares on the first floor, and then go to head upstairs to where the music is. AND THEN, just as i was about to walk upstairs, SHE comes heading downstairs looking right at me, "oh, HIIIIIIII (cue "psycho" knife music, REE REE REE REE). nowhere to run, nowhere to hide!!

ok, back up to a year and a 1/2 ago to when i worked at this non-profit and "she" was one of the docents under my supervision. besides being inappropriately condescending to ethnic kids and being an absolute know it all bore with the rest of the staff, this girl was SUCH A PHONY. she was all sugary kindness, but had this way of invading your space bubble, staring at you when she was talking (which was most of the time, and always about herself) and she acted like she had the utmost concern and interest in you, but you really had this uneasy sense that she was sucking your life energy away at the same time. she also had never really been hired, we couldn't afford her, the staff hated her, and she kept lurking around creating projects for herself. she was part of my staff, so i finally had her fired! so fast forward back to present...

"oh HIIII, i knew we'd run into each other again (corn syrup)!! and how's the non-profit?"

"they laid off their entire staff due to budgetary issues."

"oh REALLY? that's too bad (wait, is she SMIRKING??). yeah well you know i'm doing all this fabulous stuff now with the salvation army and this party tonight? yeah, it was put on by MY FRIENDS, you know, we''ve created this really great art collective and you should lick my ass because even my butt crack is sugar sweet." puke puke puke

after having my soul robbed, i finally found an escape when she was distracted.

so as much as i'm a proponent of the open heart, apparently my open heart has a big "phony" filter, and she got all jammed up in there *picks sticky crap out with look of disgust.*
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
eyesquad:
Ahh my dear. You don't know how to handle people like that? Well let me give you the 3 step program. First when you see them you immediatly start staring at them. Eye contact is crucial. It makes the recipient uneasy, off guard and fidgety. Then if that doesn't work you just haul off and punch them in the face. Now this method is widely disputed as extreme and doctors all over are trying to phase it out. But it lets the recipient know right away that you are seriously NOT smelling what they are stepping in, not picking up what they are putting down, not on the same page. Plus I don't know if you have ever punched someone in the face before (i'm sure you have, its the year 2003 for gods sake biggrin ) but watch them after you do. There is a comical look of sheer disbelief. I don't care how bad a person is or how much fighting or martial arts they have done, but if they get punched in the face there is anywhere from a 3-15 sec pause in their whole daily activity while they decipher all of the new input to their brain. Menial stuff like "OW" or "OH MY GOD!!! did I just get punched in the face" rolls over there facial canvas louder than a Picasso painting. Then after you do that look down at her and say

"Now THATS art by jove"

biggrin

[Edited on Dec 11, 2003 10:10PM]
_v_:
kiss

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