please keep the innocent civilians of lebanon and israel, as well as the victims of the recent tsunami in jaya, in your heart, prayers and thoughts
ok, update, round 2.
greetings from the other side of the rabbit hole. it's been almost 2 months since i last updated. recently i've gone through what was probably the biggest transformative process of my short existence, with more healing, more feeling, more humble pie eating and more deconstruction than all my other death and rebirth experiences combined. a journey through my own private unconscious wonderland, a hall of mirrors, a meeting with god (who knew it had so many feathers?), a dip into the indigenous dreamworld of my stomping grounds, a graduation from the university of the past with a degree in adulthood, heart surgery in a room full of my peers, and, without a doubt, a roundtrip ticket to hell and back with a layover at the whirlpools mouth. the personal soul work of my life has been teetering on the edge, ripe for the integration, and it's been happening, fast and furious. now i've surfaced with a "ploop" back into our consensual reality with a few stories to tell and some pictures to share, all of which will have nothing to do with aforesaid journey, but will probably contain glimpses in the subtext.
how is your summer going? here it is mid-july.....where has the time gone, and what happened to all those grandiose plans i had for over the top summer fun? hmmm....well, it's not over yet, and now i'm primed and raring to go.
kicked it off last weekend with a visit with my best friend amy in chico. she is currently living in a communal house owned by a woman who is a psychotherapist who teaches dance as well. their 2 acre property in the middle of downtown chico contains a therapy office, a dance studio, a natural swimming pool kept clean with out chlorine by the use of trace minerals, a humongous garden that we munched out of all weekend long, several fire pits and delicious hammocky spots, a sauna, and an oh so decadent movie room complete with a bazillion cushions and fluffy comfortable things all set up for the ultimate escapist experience. yup...it's a hippy resort! we basically spent the entire weekend (when we weren't scoring amazing deals on antique jewelry at estate sales) sitting by the pool, drinking beer, self medicating, getting philosophical and eating rice krispie treats.
this coming weekend i'll be staying at a cabin near mt. lassen. i had plans to go to a music campout put on by False Profit, the event is called "Priceless".. it's being held at my favorite place on the feather river, a village called, "belden town", where i spent my new years '99-00, hanging out with a navajo dude who spent the entire night telling us about all the ufo's that have been seen in the area. BUT. they don't take dogs. BOOOOO! no pets allowed. definitely worth checking out tho', if you live in northern california and like beats and bass.
speaking of dogs, and the fuzz meister in particular, last week marked the three year anniversary of the discovery of leo.
you can read the journal entry when i found him *here*.
he's doing great, and is fuzzier than ever. last night he tree'd a coon. no joke! ok, well he didn't really tree it, but he ran up to a tree and looked straight up, which was odd since usually he's nose first at the base sniffing piss. i walked over and looked up and there was a beautiful, fat, mama coon staring down at us. right in the middle of the lower haight. yay! i love my fuzznuts....here's to many more happy years together!
what do you think of the new SG site? in my previous update i gave a bunch of false positives, but truthfully....i think it's a nightmare cross between myspace and a 12 year old girl's scrap book, with a few nude pics thrown in. i find it difficult to navigate and all the swirly pink doodley doo shit makes me sea sick. i know they're still working the bugs out, so hopefully that, plus getting used to it, will even out in the end.
here's some pics from a new set i shot with lorelei that was rejected. i was kinda surprised, but a little relieved. it was an off night for me, modeling wise, and in a lot of the pics i think it shows. i'll just show you the good ones.
i know the staff has upped their standards, so it probably has something to do with that.
about a month ago i did a pin-up modeling workshop with bombshellbetty. the tattoo magazine, Skin and Ink was there doing a feature on tattooed pin-up models, which will come out late this year/ early 2007. yours truly will be in it with a little interview too.
if you look at some of the pics below, you'll see a little somethin different on my left arm....oh ho ho!
we had a hairstylist there who gave me the matronly-but-oddly-sexy coif you see in the first few pics. the workshop was super helpful and it's another reason i'm almost glad the last set was rejected....i learned so much and would like it to reflect in my new modeling endeavors. the modeling/SG/burlesque stuff is sky rocketing for me right now, which is funny because it's the area in my life where i struggle the least. funny how that works huh? right now i'm just sitting back and watching it happen...without the struggle the success feels surprising and as an added bonus, but somewhat neither here nor there at the same time. after years of eating my heart out in the bellydance community, it's been a healing balm to be warmly received in the never-pretentious-glamorous-dorkiness that is the burlesque world and to be given the chance to really floursih and get creative in my performance. what a great little community we have here in the bay area.
actually, there's not a lot of struggle for me anywhere in my life right now, primarily because i refuse to. especially in the realm of relationships. without all the floundering there's a lot more flow. grad school is going incredibly well too. i'm definitely on my path and skipping down it.
so back to that tattoo. i wish i had bigger pics to show you the detail. it was a collaborative effort between myself and henry lewis at everlasting tattoo. it's hard to explain, but it contains a lot of my personal iconography, much of which some of you would recognize from the stories about *my* hotsprings. there is a detail of the hotsprings and the river in the center, framed by theatrical curtains that are being held open by a jack rabbit and a meadowlark in vintage usher atire (the meadowlark has a monocle and the rabbit has ruffly sleeves and spats ). surrounding them are native california wildflowers and grasses, and at the top there is a key hole and two honey bees who are keeping watch.( there's also a secret salmon in the river. 
) simply put, it's the portal to my inner world. i go back in in a couple of weeks to start the color. WHEE!
speaking of the hotsprings, i was disturbed to find in june that someone had filled in the bottom of the most sacred pool with cement! a pool that used to come up to my chest now comes up to my hips and is distinctly awkward and uncomfortable. i know you all get how much of a bummer that was to discover....i've shared more in this blog about the importance of that place to me than probably anywhere else in my life, aside from my intimate relationships. it was obviously done with good intention...probably someone was trying to make it easier to clean. however, i don't really visit hotsprings in the expectation that they'll be "clean", so there's no benefit in my opinion. being that this particular pool is a vehicle for healing and transformation, it feels necessary to me to have the bottom be open for that process to happen. as it is now, it feels like a door that has been sealed shut. as a guardian of that land, it feels like my responsibility to pay attention to this shift. i've gone through local channels to find out who did it, and so far no dice. i have a few friends who have volunteered to help break out the cement, so that's on the books for later this season. wanna help?
well beauties, i do have more news for you, but if you've been so loyal to have read this far, i think i owe it to you to shut the fuck up! i've missed all of you. i'm sorry for falling off the planet. i hope all is well in your world. here's to the rest of a great summer! :kiss"
ok, update, round 2.
greetings from the other side of the rabbit hole. it's been almost 2 months since i last updated. recently i've gone through what was probably the biggest transformative process of my short existence, with more healing, more feeling, more humble pie eating and more deconstruction than all my other death and rebirth experiences combined. a journey through my own private unconscious wonderland, a hall of mirrors, a meeting with god (who knew it had so many feathers?), a dip into the indigenous dreamworld of my stomping grounds, a graduation from the university of the past with a degree in adulthood, heart surgery in a room full of my peers, and, without a doubt, a roundtrip ticket to hell and back with a layover at the whirlpools mouth. the personal soul work of my life has been teetering on the edge, ripe for the integration, and it's been happening, fast and furious. now i've surfaced with a "ploop" back into our consensual reality with a few stories to tell and some pictures to share, all of which will have nothing to do with aforesaid journey, but will probably contain glimpses in the subtext.
how is your summer going? here it is mid-july.....where has the time gone, and what happened to all those grandiose plans i had for over the top summer fun? hmmm....well, it's not over yet, and now i'm primed and raring to go.
kicked it off last weekend with a visit with my best friend amy in chico. she is currently living in a communal house owned by a woman who is a psychotherapist who teaches dance as well. their 2 acre property in the middle of downtown chico contains a therapy office, a dance studio, a natural swimming pool kept clean with out chlorine by the use of trace minerals, a humongous garden that we munched out of all weekend long, several fire pits and delicious hammocky spots, a sauna, and an oh so decadent movie room complete with a bazillion cushions and fluffy comfortable things all set up for the ultimate escapist experience. yup...it's a hippy resort! we basically spent the entire weekend (when we weren't scoring amazing deals on antique jewelry at estate sales) sitting by the pool, drinking beer, self medicating, getting philosophical and eating rice krispie treats.
this coming weekend i'll be staying at a cabin near mt. lassen. i had plans to go to a music campout put on by False Profit, the event is called "Priceless".. it's being held at my favorite place on the feather river, a village called, "belden town", where i spent my new years '99-00, hanging out with a navajo dude who spent the entire night telling us about all the ufo's that have been seen in the area. BUT. they don't take dogs. BOOOOO! no pets allowed. definitely worth checking out tho', if you live in northern california and like beats and bass.
speaking of dogs, and the fuzz meister in particular, last week marked the three year anniversary of the discovery of leo.
you can read the journal entry when i found him *here*.
he's doing great, and is fuzzier than ever. last night he tree'd a coon. no joke! ok, well he didn't really tree it, but he ran up to a tree and looked straight up, which was odd since usually he's nose first at the base sniffing piss. i walked over and looked up and there was a beautiful, fat, mama coon staring down at us. right in the middle of the lower haight. yay! i love my fuzznuts....here's to many more happy years together!
what do you think of the new SG site? in my previous update i gave a bunch of false positives, but truthfully....i think it's a nightmare cross between myspace and a 12 year old girl's scrap book, with a few nude pics thrown in. i find it difficult to navigate and all the swirly pink doodley doo shit makes me sea sick. i know they're still working the bugs out, so hopefully that, plus getting used to it, will even out in the end.
here's some pics from a new set i shot with lorelei that was rejected. i was kinda surprised, but a little relieved. it was an off night for me, modeling wise, and in a lot of the pics i think it shows. i'll just show you the good ones.
i know the staff has upped their standards, so it probably has something to do with that.about a month ago i did a pin-up modeling workshop with bombshellbetty. the tattoo magazine, Skin and Ink was there doing a feature on tattooed pin-up models, which will come out late this year/ early 2007. yours truly will be in it with a little interview too.
if you look at some of the pics below, you'll see a little somethin different on my left arm....oh ho ho!we had a hairstylist there who gave me the matronly-but-oddly-sexy coif you see in the first few pics. the workshop was super helpful and it's another reason i'm almost glad the last set was rejected....i learned so much and would like it to reflect in my new modeling endeavors. the modeling/SG/burlesque stuff is sky rocketing for me right now, which is funny because it's the area in my life where i struggle the least. funny how that works huh? right now i'm just sitting back and watching it happen...without the struggle the success feels surprising and as an added bonus, but somewhat neither here nor there at the same time. after years of eating my heart out in the bellydance community, it's been a healing balm to be warmly received in the never-pretentious-glamorous-dorkiness that is the burlesque world and to be given the chance to really floursih and get creative in my performance. what a great little community we have here in the bay area.
actually, there's not a lot of struggle for me anywhere in my life right now, primarily because i refuse to. especially in the realm of relationships. without all the floundering there's a lot more flow. grad school is going incredibly well too. i'm definitely on my path and skipping down it.
so back to that tattoo. i wish i had bigger pics to show you the detail. it was a collaborative effort between myself and henry lewis at everlasting tattoo. it's hard to explain, but it contains a lot of my personal iconography, much of which some of you would recognize from the stories about *my* hotsprings. there is a detail of the hotsprings and the river in the center, framed by theatrical curtains that are being held open by a jack rabbit and a meadowlark in vintage usher atire (the meadowlark has a monocle and the rabbit has ruffly sleeves and spats
). surrounding them are native california wildflowers and grasses, and at the top there is a key hole and two honey bees who are keeping watch.( there's also a secret salmon in the river. ) simply put, it's the portal to my inner world. i go back in in a couple of weeks to start the color. WHEE!speaking of the hotsprings, i was disturbed to find in june that someone had filled in the bottom of the most sacred pool with cement! a pool that used to come up to my chest now comes up to my hips and is distinctly awkward and uncomfortable. i know you all get how much of a bummer that was to discover....i've shared more in this blog about the importance of that place to me than probably anywhere else in my life, aside from my intimate relationships. it was obviously done with good intention...probably someone was trying to make it easier to clean. however, i don't really visit hotsprings in the expectation that they'll be "clean", so there's no benefit in my opinion. being that this particular pool is a vehicle for healing and transformation, it feels necessary to me to have the bottom be open for that process to happen. as it is now, it feels like a door that has been sealed shut. as a guardian of that land, it feels like my responsibility to pay attention to this shift. i've gone through local channels to find out who did it, and so far no dice. i have a few friends who have volunteered to help break out the cement, so that's on the books for later this season. wanna help?
well beauties, i do have more news for you, but if you've been so loyal to have read this far, i think i owe it to you to shut the fuck up!
i've missed all of you. i'm sorry for falling off the planet. i hope all is well in your world. here's to the rest of a great summer! :kiss"VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
sempi:
I'm glad to hear things are going well. It was nice to re-read the story of you finding Leo. He's grown up so much over the past three years. I'm sorry to hear about your "Fan" set being rejected. It looks awesome. My move is going along. There have been some bumps in the road. Thanks for the support. Wednesday is the big test as we are moving all the key furniture that day. Hopefully all the appliances will be there & services will be up & running by then. As far as my leaving the community, my final journal entry will be up later tonight. While I'm sad to go it is a necessary change I must make if I'm to move forward.
deadly_photo:
Hey my dear - we both seem to have returned from the outer limits...