tigerlily

the bush administration has just done nature another really big favor and is removing grizzly bears from the endangered species list. what will this mean? well, first and foremost, it's good news for all you sportsmen out there who enjoy communing with wilderness by shooting at it. you'll now be able to hunt the grizzlies, who have just come back from the edge of extinction! isn't that fanfuckingtastic?! i know my life just started looking a whole lot sunnier. goodness knows my existence just felt too hollow without a taxidermied bear head on my wall. my prayers have been answered! fuckin' endangered species act, ruining all my fun. getting in the way of drilling for oil in the arctic, and limiting the amount of useless crap i can buy at ikea by not letting us take timber from the national parks. wipe your ass with a spotted owl, that's what i think! i mean, if you really think about it, the rapture will be here any day now, and i think we should just lift all those bans that keep us from the important things in life. like more golf courses, for instance! all that preserved land out there, just going to waste, when we could just bulldoze it all down, pipe in irrigation from hundreds of thousands of miles away, and create green rolling hills so more of us can whack our little white balls around. speaking of little white balls, i also agree with all my rich and priveleged friends in marin that are just so durned sick of them damn deer (rats on stilts as we like to call em!). they paid good money to obtain their perfect rustic and rural million dollar home, and now all these fucking bambis are coming along and eating their imported, high upkeep, exotic vegetation. i mean shit. before they got there, it was just another mangey little ecosystem filled with coyote bush and wildflowers and insects and critters and other unnecessary nuisances. who cares if the deer were there first and are trying to survive on increasingly limited and shrinking habitat? it's all about adaptation dammit. if the fucking deer want to survive, they can just evolve and develop thumbs. otherwise, i think whole foods should start carrying wildcrafted venison in their meat department.

fuck nature. who needs it? we've got the discovery channel.