tigereyez310

After running a grocery run on a Tuesday night, I treated myself to a bottle of lime soda, sweet and sour, and a bag of ice, knowing full well I had the mixing stuff for an Adios M-Fer on my shelf at home.I come home excitedly putting the groceries away. I swiftly move about the kitchen grabbing bottles off the shelf. An orchestra of music plays in my head, and I feel like a maestro of mixology.

Call me bar wench, sure, but to me, I am a drink slinger, a dealer of vice, an apothecary with poisons, a liberator with libations that liberates spirits with distilled spirits.

Then to my discovery, I find a mishap with the liquor. Floating in the bottles of Tequila, Rum, Blue Curacao, and Midori were tiny gnats... fruit flies.

Shit! Shit! Shit! I mutter to my frustration. However did this happen... well, I shall tell you.

**Flashback**

"Abby, why don't you screw the caps back on?" asked my parents.

"Nah, I'll just keep the quick-pourers on. It's convenient."

"But you don't want it to spoil."

"No. Fermented drinks spoil. Beer spoils. Wine spoils. These will not. It's cool"

**End Flashback**

Oh how wrong was I? The little gnats have crawled in and died. Oh woe is me.I pour the wasted contents into the sink, holding in my tiny urge to weep.

"Abby, what are you doing?" asked my brother.

"Saying goodbye," I moaned melodramatically.

"What happened? What was wrong?"

"The drinks were infested with bugs."

"So. It's still good."

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Well tequila has the worm, right? They're like extra treats."

I mulled the possibility of eating them in my head... I shook the thought off. No - ew, just no.

Granted, I have eaten scorpions, sea worms, and crickets (delicacies of the Santa Monica restaurant Typhoon), I am SO not going there!